Taking children out of school for 3 weeks

[Goodtimesagain]

I am getting married the last weekend in August next year and would like to take our children on honeymoon with us late September for three weeks, has anybody taken their children out of school for this long before? I appreciate I will have to pay a fine, just wondering if the consequences could be worse? I just want to hear other people’s experiences of taking children out of school for this long...

At the information evening regarding sats when we were told they are taken for no other reason but to test the teachers and that it wouldn’t affect the groups our children were put into in secondary school or their further education I raised my hand and asked if they were telling me there is no point in my daughter taking them could I refuse to let her and they said absolutely I am within my right to refuse her to be put into the exams, however my daughter is confident and extremely intelligent so I didn’t think it would be a trauma for her to take them, so she did. I was told you could opt out though.

@Goodtimesagain I very much doubt the school flippantly told you she wouldn't have to sit them though technically true, an absent child has a detrimental impact on the results for the school, I'm sure they would have impressed the importance for sorting them. Like them or loathe them they are there and I hope no one would flippantly pull their child just because they can.

@Goodtimesagain does it have to be long haul? Could you not go somewhere in Europe for, say, 10 days and then maybe in a few years go on the 'big holiday?' Seeing as you're seeing it now more as a family holiday rather than a honeymoon maybe that would be better.

They had gone on about there was no pressure they were irrelevant etc so I asked the question, and was 100% told in front of the other parents that my child didn’t have to sit the tests if that’s what I requested. It is never what I wanted, I just wanted to ask the question, which i did.

@goodtimesagain
The teacher was misinformed. The school is compelled to make your child sit the SATs if they are present during the testing period. SATs can be taken up to a specified date after the main test dates. So your kid would have to be absent all of that time. You have no "right to refuse" and your school would be unlikely to support this. The school would get a zero mark for that child, which would affect their overall average, their performance measures, and thus their sustainability. It is bullshit, but it is the way it is.

I didn’t mind her doing them, but I did feel odd about the teaching staff (especially in front of the children) belittling the importance of them to the degree they were, I still wanted my daughter to try her best even if they mean nothing. It’s still amazing to achieve high scores!

This was many, MANY moons ago, but my parents took me out of school for a month at the beginning of year six. (We went on a cruise). My dad had a meeting with the head teacher beforehand and obtained the adequate syllabus.. He then went to the effort of making me a work folder and ensured that wherever we were I studied for at least 2 hours a day. I did, willingly.

On top of this, he also made sure that many of our excursions were educational. On bus trips to destinations, he'd even pull out flashcards and do a little quiz with me to make sure that my actual school work was sinking in.

Many judged my parents for their decision, but I think my dad handled it really professionally.

Incidentally, I had my SATS that school year, and achieved the highest marks in my year.

It can be done.

Re SATS, if you sent your daughter to school that day, she’d sit them. I think if you kept her off SATS week, and the following week, the school couldn’t make her take them, so i guess you would be opting out, though again we are back to unauthorised absense and fines.

As a teacher, it’s a pain in the ass when kids miss even a single lesson, yes, even the bright ones. You CANNOT just ‘catch them up’. If they miss the first 2 weeks of a 4 week writing unit for example, they’ve missed all the build up teaching to a final piece. As a teacher there’s no way I’d provide work for a 3 week holiday - I’d say ‘we are reading this book and covering bar charts in maths’ but that would be it.

Consider the fine...this seems to vary between different local authorities. I think it’s safe to say you will get 3 fines for 3 kids absences, the question is how much. Some LAs seem to just do £60 for an absense, so £180 in total (but I think their dad will also get this fine). At my old school, the attendance officer told me it’s £60 PER SESSION, ie half day. £60x10 sessions per week X 3 weeks X 3 kids = £5400...for you to pay, plus the same for their dad. Most LAs don’t seem to do this, but this is what the expert at my old school told me ours did.

Thank you modgepodge. I would never expect a teacher to set the children all the work it’s far too much to ask I would of just done my very best for the weeks they were out and with the first parents evening normally being just before or after October hAlf term I would then have asked for anything extra my child needed to do, where they were struggling etc. Not sure we will go now, but all the information is super useful for if the situation ever does arise. We have family all over the world and the children don’t get matching holidays so on any holidays one set of children is always off school just so we can see each other for a few days.

How does the father of the children feel?

Is he okay with his children being taken out for 3 weeks on a honeymoon?

Is he okay with having fines ?

That’s where I will perfectly blunt, it matter here no there how he feels. He walked out when I was 12 weeks pregnant with our youngest (now 6). Paid nothing towards maintenance until last year, only sees them once a month through his choice, I could go on and on but I won’t. You can see why anyone else’s advice and suggestions mean more to me than his.

• matters *nor

I think you'd get early intervention team in our area for 15 days. 30 sessions is 3 x the limit.

I know they can learn other things but if they miss a whole 3 weeks of a maths topic, that's a lot of catching up for you to do with 3 kids.

I'm all for sneaking the last week out but I think 3 weeks might be pushing it. Plus fines are per parent (who consents) per child. So potentially 6?

Would they take into consideration the children’s previous years attendance? Or is it done based purely on the current year?

I'd hope it's a case by case basis OP and in your case they would be satisfied that it was a one off.

The reason I asked if DH2Be is the dad is because (please don't take this the wrong way) are you surrrrrre he wants the kids gatecrashing your honeymoon? my DH is an amazing stepdad to my boy, treats him like his own but even he would raise a (polite) eyebrow if I suggested bringing him on honeymoon. Let alone three of the buggers! If I were you I'd have a great long haul, two week family holiday before the wedding. Like a pre wedding celebration. Then a 4 day European getaway just you and your new DH after the wedding where you can () concentrate on making that honeymoon baby

Could you consider a shorter honeymoon in half term or at the end of term?
Would you consider a long weekend away with your new husband without your children? Get you mum to pick them up Friday, take them to school Monday, no time missed from school?
Would you consider a Friday evening to Sunday at somewhere local but lovely. Centre parks or a cottage in Wales sort of mini break.
Three weeks is a lot of term time to miss.

I fully understand ur attitude to him but I doubt he will be happy to pay fines so you can take his kids on holiday with ur husband/fiancé.

He sees them once a month so pretty sure he could have some kind of group to object to taking ur kids away for 3 weeks.

I would suggest heavily you speak to him.

Not only would you have fines and kids missing education and having to catch up (which is def possible) but also having to faff with EX.

Does he have PR or would he be inclined to get PR or object

Could you take them in late June or July instead? September is the worst month to be missing imo.

Current only.

I doubt they'd actually DO anything other than check up on you but it would stress me to hell!

I think we will now go with the pre wedding holiday in August and then a few days away in Europe just me and him. He says he wants them to come and is actually mortified at doing the family honeymoon before the wedding, but I have explained all the reasons and hopefully they will sink in eventually. The ex is on the birth certificate so does technically hold some parental responsibility as we have never been to court to dispute otherwise. If he gets a fine couldn’t we just call it a back payment for the child maintenance he didn’t pay for 5 years, it will be a weeks worth haha.

I think it's an awful idea to go for that long. Just go at a different time! I had my wedding the last weekend of the Easter holidays and waited to go on honeymoon in the summer holidays. It was quite nice spreading out the wedding joy.

I'm a secondary teacher. Your child may miss a whole topic in some subjects. I also would be very annoyed at being asked to set work for them to do, or when they're back having to give up my lunch time to catch them up.

Go for a week or go in school holiday time.

That's a lot of school to miss. Definitely expect a fine (£60 per child per parent) and for the school to be on your case about attendance for the rest of the year if they have more time off.

It would be the social side that would bother me. The start of the year can be when new friendships are formed and your children may feel left out and like the new kids when they return to school.

year 8 is important imo

Also just to add - your fiancé/new husband will be liable for a fine too, so it'll be £360. If you don't pay the fine you may be taken to court as a prosecution for non school attendance.