4 year old would like to be vegetarian

[NightWakings]

As per the title, my 4 (nearly 5) year old DD has repeatedly stated that she doesn't want to eat "animal food" any more. She regularly asks what is in food (e.g. "what are the sausages made from?"), and then declines it if it involves meat. Last night she was upset about what she thought was chicken in a stir fry, but then ate it happily when I told her it was Quorn (it was).

By way of background, I am a committed but fairly relaxed vegetarian; DH eats meat. Because I do most of the cooking we do mainly eat vegetarian food, but I will also occasionally batch cook bolognaise or fish pie for the DCs, and they get things like sausages (I'll just have a veggie option) or burgers if we BBQ. Of my 2 elder DCs, one is a definite carnivore and likes nothing more than a burger; one leans to vegetarian food (and I wouldn't be surprised if he ultimately chooses to be vegetarian), but will eat some meat and is definitely not ready to give up marshmallows or haribo!!

I'm inclined to take DD seriously. She's a huge animal lover, lovely with our pets, and obviously this is an ethical stance that I support. I am comfortable that I can provide her with a balanced vegetarian diet. I'd still try not to foist my views on her (I've been pretty careful not to do this with my DCs, although do explain to them if they ask why I've chosen not to eat meat) and try to be very relaxed about it so that she can change her mind at any time. But I wouldn't, e.g., trick her into eating meat by not telling her the truth about what her food is.

DH thinks that at 4 she's far too young to decide this (I think he thinks she's looking to win brownie points with me, although I really hope I've not set things up this way!), and should be actively encouraged to continue to eat meat and fish a couple of times a week (which is roughly how often they are served this now - maybe bolognaise once, fish pie once, and fish fingers or sausages or similar once).

Thoughts welcome? I find it hard to assess this objectively as I'd secretly be delighted if my children all (of their own accord) opted to be vegetarian. My own mother didn't support my choice at all (and still every Christmas on occasion makes me feel like a nuisance!!).

I'm 40 and was about 4 when I turned vegetarian. Same situation in that when I realised what I was eating, I just didn't want to eat animals. I can remember crying because I was being made to eat fish fingers. I can honestly say I'm a perfectly healthy adult now having never really eaten meat after that time. A lot of it was me having to fathom it all out. I cut out main meat and then when I was 7/8 was aware of rennet/ gelatins etc. My dad was very supportive but my mum used to try and trick me into eating meat a lot and I resented her massively for it. I think if your eating mostly veggie anyway then what's the harm. As a veggie you'll understand what she needs to be healthy. Good luck x

@morallybankruptme we are vegetarian at home. We don't eat meat or fish, if you'd read the post I said they occasionally eat fish fingers at their grandparents or steal bacon if we stay at their house.
I don't go to their houses and dictate what they eat, therefore meat and fish exist. If they want to try it or not it's up to them, but the four year old won't go near meat anymore.

Why are they going for the bacon though?

Because their grandparents would offer it to them. It's the same with the fish fingers, the one year old knows no better so when he's offered them he eats them. It's the same with biscuits and smarties, they get given them. My parents in particular my mum cannot get their head around it and panic that they won't eat. She doesn't believe you can be healthy with out meat.
My parents in law are similar really worried they will go hungry and panic about what to make them. My mother in law is pretty awesome though she has bought all sorts of cookbooks and makes them Falafel and all sorts now.
The oldest who is now 4 won't have it at all, he knows what it means so won't eat them.
He is the way we find out the little one has had them as he tells us.

It’s mean to offer them bacon if they know they aren’t meat eaters. I suppose they probably don’t want ‘forbidden’ food but still - bacon!

Can I just derail the thread and ask for some advice?? Do you do anything to get Omega 3 into your kids? Im the only one in the family who ate/eats oily fish, so I dont know why Im suddenly worried about it, but they did have salmon occasionally and fish oil capsules. Now, obviously they arent having either, but I'm not sure how to replace it sufficiently.

I used to take omega 3-6-9 supplements (veggie)

Thanks. Can you get them from Holland and Barratt?

@morallybankruptme As I said, the choice would be there once they're old enough if they want to eat meat.

It's a bit mean and nasty to force a meat based diet on children who don't want to eat it... Not to mention the entire meat and dairy industries are a bit mean and nasty in general

You cannot beat super creamy jersey unhomogenised (?) milk for an occasional treat.

I haven't got time to read the whole thread @NightWakings but I just wanted to add my perspective.

I've been vegetarian since I was about 11 - in my 40s now. My DP and I have 2DC. DP eats meat, but we have raised our DC on a vegetarian diet. As I see it, it's not more a choice to decide not to feed your children meat than it is to decide to feed them meat - less so if anything. As parents we make choices for our children all the time. That's what being a parent is! Most of these choices involve imposing our own moral view - whether they go to childcare before school age, what they wear and lay with, how we teach them to interact with others, etc.

Being vegetarian does make it a bit harder negotiating childhood fussiness. It's really important that children eat protein from a variety of sources - dairy, eggs, beans, lentils, tofu, etc. You have to be careful to include enough iron and B12 too.

My DC are 7 and 9 now, and seem healthy enough. They have a multivitamin most days as a back-up, and are now old enough to reason with - if you want to be vegetarian you really need to eat a good variety of vegetables, for example! They are both ardent veggies, and much more vocal about it than I am!

BI