4 year old would like to be vegetarian

[NightWakings]

As per the title, my 4 (nearly 5) year old DD has repeatedly stated that she doesn't want to eat "animal food" any more. She regularly asks what is in food (e.g. "what are the sausages made from?"), and then declines it if it involves meat. Last night she was upset about what she thought was chicken in a stir fry, but then ate it happily when I told her it was Quorn (it was).

By way of background, I am a committed but fairly relaxed vegetarian; DH eats meat. Because I do most of the cooking we do mainly eat vegetarian food, but I will also occasionally batch cook bolognaise or fish pie for the DCs, and they get things like sausages (I'll just have a veggie option) or burgers if we BBQ. Of my 2 elder DCs, one is a definite carnivore and likes nothing more than a burger; one leans to vegetarian food (and I wouldn't be surprised if he ultimately chooses to be vegetarian), but will eat some meat and is definitely not ready to give up marshmallows or haribo!!

I'm inclined to take DD seriously. She's a huge animal lover, lovely with our pets, and obviously this is an ethical stance that I support. I am comfortable that I can provide her with a balanced vegetarian diet. I'd still try not to foist my views on her (I've been pretty careful not to do this with my DCs, although do explain to them if they ask why I've chosen not to eat meat) and try to be very relaxed about it so that she can change her mind at any time. But I wouldn't, e.g., trick her into eating meat by not telling her the truth about what her food is.

DH thinks that at 4 she's far too young to decide this (I think he thinks she's looking to win brownie points with me, although I really hope I've not set things up this way!), and should be actively encouraged to continue to eat meat and fish a couple of times a week (which is roughly how often they are served this now - maybe bolognaise once, fish pie once, and fish fingers or sausages or similar once).

Thoughts welcome? I find it hard to assess this objectively as I'd secretly be delighted if my children all (of their own accord) opted to be vegetarian. My own mother didn't support my choice at all (and still every Christmas on occasion makes me feel like a nuisance!!).

Even if that were true, what benefit do you think meat once a week will confer? The majority of your vitamin intake will be from vegetarian sources

@Veterinari I think at age 4 a dc should have some kind of animal based foods in their diets. Frequent dairy and maybe once a week meat.

@hellooosweetheart why though? And that’s just your opinion - it doesn’t Have any grounding in evidence and isn’t a good justification for lying to your child. Also animal based products are not the same as ‘meat’ and it seems odd to conflate the two.

There are plenty of vegetarian sources of iron and B12 - eggs, green veg and breakfast cereals spring to mind. And you’ve already mentioned dairy which is of course vegetarian i’m Not sure how you think a magical once a week serving of meat would make up for the potential deficits you’re worried about?

You’re basically justifying lying to your child by using your own ignorance as a ‘reason’ and you don’t seem very clear on what being vegetarian actually involves or on basic nutrition

If the 4 yo eats vegetables, nuts, eggs, lentils, dairy etc without complaint and has a varied diet then no problem. If not then I would insist they ate (at least) chicken and fish for the omega 3 and protein— as that can often be lacking in vegetarian kids.

🤷‍♀️ no particular reasons. Just my beliefs.

I'm vegetarian, both of mine were given the odd bit of meat of fish when they were small (not that I ever cooked it, but when they were out somewhere) - and independently, I now have two vegetarian teenagers on my hands.

@BogglesGoggles

That's complete nonsense. Anecdotally I've been vegetarian my whole life and I'm 5'8. My brother was a vegetarian until adulthood and he's 6'1. As long as a vegetarian diet is done properly (and this is really important for children obviously) it fulfils nutritional requirements perfectly well.

We're not a vegetarian household but my DD has not eaten meat since she realised she was eating an animal.
It's made feeding her a bit more of a challenge as we don't all eat the same meals. But I have respected her choices. She will eat some fish and has occasionally eaten chicken in the last year or so.

🤷‍♀️ no particular reasons. Just my beliefs.

I guess we all have different moral compasses - I personally wouldn’t Be comfortable with lying to my child in order to justify my own ignorance, when the alternative was educating myself and supporting an honest relationship with them.

I think at age 4 she should be respected for her opinions, doesn't sound as though it would be a hassle for you as you are veggie anyway.

@Wenttoseainasieve - height doesn’t depend on whether the child is vegetarian or not but often whether the mother is too. And whether they eat a proper vegetarian diet (or it’s some half-hearted vegan thing)z A lot of Indian non-egg eating (sporadically milk drinking) vegetarians produce short kids. But then when their kids start eating eggs and drinking milk and continue it into adulthood they produce properly tall kids.

So yeah vegetarianism has to be done properly especialy for non-white people who often have a lot of deficiencies.

especialy for non-white people who often have a lot of deficiencies

The fuck? Where did that random post full of casually racist, vaguely eugenicist anti-science bollocks come from?

There's Some astonishing ignorance on this thread

@Teddybear45

My mother was a vegan during her pregnancy with my brother (the eldest) but not with me, when she was just a vegetarian. We were nice big babies too. We are white though, which you seem to think makes a difference for some reason. What is the reason for that exactly?

@wenttoseainasieve no, it’s my experience which explains why I wouldn’t do it. That’s all it is. I never said there was a causal link between shortness and vegetarianism, just that I am put off because all the life long vegetarians I know are small and I wouldn’t want to risk it in case there was. I know it’s a bit irrational but that’s just my reason for refusing to allow my children to be raised vegetarian.

My DD is nearly 4 and said she wanted to be a vegetarian about 6 months ago after realising that what she was eating was actually animals. I haven't served her meat since, and just make sure she has a balanced vegetarian diet.

Why would I make her eat meat or lie to her about what she's eating?! She may change her mind and that's fine with me as well.

Oh for fucks sake. People with melanin are more likely to be vitamin D deficient and have rickets. I have rickets and have been seeing a consultant and was told my being non-white is a risk factor.

And yes the risk factor came about because I come from a part of India where people don’t eat eggs or drink a lot of milk.

Milk isn’t part of a lot of adult diets in Africa to Asia

Not being white is a risk factor for vitamin D deficiency, not being vegetarian and non white I don't think...All food sources of vitamin D are pretty poor, and milk is only a source if it has been fortified, which in this country it isn't. Eggs and fortified cereals are ok sources, but not enough, as I'm sure you will know! My DH gets a vitamin D deficiency if we don't go on holiday abroad to somewhere hot every year He is South Asian but a meat eater.

The main source of Vitamin D comes from sunshine, not food. Its not a good source.

Presumably the reason you are vit D deficient is because you live somewhere with not enough sunshine, so you would need a supplement. And vegetarians eat eggs and milk anyway!

Should I expose sister's nastiness?
My oldest sister has always had it in for me throughout my life & sought to put me down. In recent years she has poisoned almost entire family against me & my kids, especially since the death of our mother who used to challenge her & keep her nastiness at bay.
She hated my parents helping me more financially (I was a single parent & ex refused to pay maintenance) even though she was comfortably off, & made my parents stop helping me & my kids.
Recently I discovered an unopened letter from my mum dating back almost 20 years which enclosed a letter my sister had written about me which was vitriolic & full of untruths about me, stating she had felt jealous of me since practically my birth & blaming my poor parents for being inadequate.
I want to show this to the family as I feel it vindicates me & proves that her campaign against me wasn't my doing but was down to her own insecurities in the hope that they re-evaluate their opinion of her & cut me some slack, but wonder is this the right thing to do? I feel I need to expose her for the sake of me but also my poor kids who have suffered through her actions with the damage & rifts she caused.

Whoops sorry wrong area

And yes the risk factor came about because I come from a part of India where people don’t eat eggs or drink a lot of milk.

But most vitamin D comes from sunlight access so diet is pretty much irrelevant - your deficiency is much more likely associated with Northern European sunlight access - vit D deficiencies are very common in the UK regardless of diet, and even if it was a concern, vegetarians eat dairy and eggs, so i’m Really struggling to see how any of these concerns are relevant to the OP?

2 of my sisters have vit d deficiency. One will eat any animal presented to her and one eats only a small amount of meat.