4 year old would like to be vegetarian

[NightWakings]

As per the title, my 4 (nearly 5) year old DD has repeatedly stated that she doesn't want to eat "animal food" any more. She regularly asks what is in food (e.g. "what are the sausages made from?"), and then declines it if it involves meat. Last night she was upset about what she thought was chicken in a stir fry, but then ate it happily when I told her it was Quorn (it was).

By way of background, I am a committed but fairly relaxed vegetarian; DH eats meat. Because I do most of the cooking we do mainly eat vegetarian food, but I will also occasionally batch cook bolognaise or fish pie for the DCs, and they get things like sausages (I'll just have a veggie option) or burgers if we BBQ. Of my 2 elder DCs, one is a definite carnivore and likes nothing more than a burger; one leans to vegetarian food (and I wouldn't be surprised if he ultimately chooses to be vegetarian), but will eat some meat and is definitely not ready to give up marshmallows or haribo!!

I'm inclined to take DD seriously. She's a huge animal lover, lovely with our pets, and obviously this is an ethical stance that I support. I am comfortable that I can provide her with a balanced vegetarian diet. I'd still try not to foist my views on her (I've been pretty careful not to do this with my DCs, although do explain to them if they ask why I've chosen not to eat meat) and try to be very relaxed about it so that she can change her mind at any time. But I wouldn't, e.g., trick her into eating meat by not telling her the truth about what her food is.

DH thinks that at 4 she's far too young to decide this (I think he thinks she's looking to win brownie points with me, although I really hope I've not set things up this way!), and should be actively encouraged to continue to eat meat and fish a couple of times a week (which is roughly how often they are served this now - maybe bolognaise once, fish pie once, and fish fingers or sausages or similar once).

Thoughts welcome? I find it hard to assess this objectively as I'd secretly be delighted if my children all (of their own accord) opted to be vegetarian. My own mother didn't support my choice at all (and still every Christmas on occasion makes me feel like a nuisance!!).

I remember my grandson saying he didn’t want to eat dead animals when he was about 4. He loved green trees (broccoli ). This continued until a visit to Canada persuaded him to eat steaks! By then he was about 18.

There is so much ignorance on this thread about vegetarian diets! Millions of people globally are vegetarian for a variety of reasons including religion (so veggie from birth) it's OPs choice (I would definitely allow my child to make moral decisions like this) and there is zero reason to sneak meat or bone broth into their diet as long as their vegetarian diet is balanced. Also to say vegetarians are short this is laughable

I think some parents are ignorant of how to feed a veggie or vegan child properly - yes countries and societies are veggie but then the know what to eat and have a wider range of veggie foods.

Sneaking meat in is just a throwback from when people just ate meat/poultry/fish as the centre piece of almost every meal. It’s really not necessary.

I feel very strongly about this. I was like your daughter except my parents both ate meat and it was 1990 so attitudes were very different. I was an animal lover and the thought of meat repulsed me as soon as I was able to understand what it was and what happened to the animals.
At 5 I wanted to be fully vegetarian and my mum was mildly supportive but would still pick the meat out of my food or cook with the same pans etc. I remember a full on argument when I was about 7 or 8 about it with me in tears and her telling me I was being ridiculous (I found traces of meat in a stir fry). Believe me, children notice and take it to heart when you disregard their opinions or belittle them.
From that point on she completely changed. She fully embraced my vegetarianism, she cooked me separate meals, researched vegetarian food and spoke to me about how much respect she had for my decision.
I am forever grateful for her (and my dad's approach) because at that point on my life I felt like my beliefs were respected and my views mattered and that stayed with me through my teenage years and gave me confidence. I've been vegetarian ever since and am trying to commit to a vegan diet which I find challenging but believe in whole heartedly
Forcing a meat diet on a vegetarian is a horrible thing to do, its cruel in my opinion.
Not only is a vegetarian diet better for the environment (and for animal welfare) but there is absolutely no reason a child can't get all the nutrients it needs from a vegetarian diet.
My DH is vegetarian, 6'4 and very muscular. I competed at an international level all through my teenage years at a sport. It is just ignorance when people say you can't get the nutrients you need unless you eat meat.
Support your daughter 100%.

My little girl was a similar age and said she didn’t want to eat animals, she got very upset when we had fish for tea at the thought that it used to be alive. I just went with it and gave her veggie options, I don’t think anyone should be forced to eat meat if they have an objection to it. I do understand what people are saying when they say she doesn’t have the ability to make the decision at her age, however it is possible to have a balanced diet without eating meat and if you are making veggie meals anyway it won’t be any extra effort for her to eat with you. She can always change her mind as she gets older.

I wanted to be veggie when I was in early primary school, my mum let me but made me eat fish once in a while maybe could be a compromise that could slowly be phased out ?

Following with interest as my 12 year old is giving it a go this weekend. No idea where it has suddenly come from, he's not what you'd call an animal lover and he loves chicken nuggets and popcorn chicken. Mind you, chicken is about the only meat he does eat with the occasional ham.sandwich and his appetite isnt great anyway so hoping, if anything, it'll encourage him to try more vegetables! We dont eat lots of meat in our house anyway, because I'm too stingy to buy steak! We've just had a very tasty lentil curry type thing with spinach and mushroom and me and OH love it so est that quite regularly. I'd let her eat what you eat, at least you know shes getting what her body needs for development.

My 4 year old refuses to eat meat. We are vegetarian in our house but they occasionally eat a bit of fish (fish fingers at grandparents) he also used to steal bacon from both sets of grandparents. He's had various meats at Sunday lunches at different family members.
We stopped off at a farm cafe on the way back from a trip earlier this year. They had a film playing on screen about the lives of the animals and then them being chopped up by a butcher. (Not the live animal as you'd see in a butchers shop but the big sides of beef etc.) He asked what was happening and from then on he tells anyone who will listen that eating animals is bad as you have to kill them and chop them up.
He understands what this means. I think it's fine for her to want to be vegetarian, she may we'll return to eating meat or fish at a later date and that would be fine as well

A healthy vegetarian diet is way better than an unhealthy meat eating diet. If she is too young to decide not to eat meat how is she old enough to decide to eat meat? I would go with it but let her know it's ok to change her mind and eat meat whenever she wants to.

OP, you know your daughter and whether she feels this deeply or whether it is more likely a passing whim. But either way, I would encourage you to respect her choice whether it ends up being for two days or forever!

I do think it is also important, though, especially as you yourself are a vegetarian so she might be trying to please you, to let her know that it's fine if she decides she wants to eat meat again after all.

I decided I wanted to be a vegetarian when I was 5, and was very serious about it. (I'm also still a vegetarian now.) My parents, though not being vegetarians, respected my decision and I am grateful to them for that.

You are at an advantage over my parents in that you area already aware of how she can get a healthy and balanced diet.

Regarding your DH, if you could afford to I I wonder if it might help to visit a dietician with him. The dietician would reassure him that it's safe/appropriate etc and might give useful pointers too so that he feels less concerned. (I know you already know it's fine health-wise and ideally your word should be enough for him, but just being pragmatic.)

"If she is too young to decide not to eat meat how is she old enough to decide to eat meat?"
This is an excellent point.

I never liked meat, but my parents being meat lovers never understood it and I was forced to eat it. So food was kind of traumatising, especially if I wasn't able to throw away meat behind their backs. I still remember friend sausage smell that I found disgusting. I don't consider myself a vegetarian as I like chicken breasts, but I wouldn't force a child to eat meat if they find it disgusting for whatever reason.
I know now that meat has microelements that are not necessarily easily found in a vegetarian diet (ex. zinc) , so I would just pay attention to that, maybe giving her supplements.

I was six when I announced I was vegetarian. In the 1980s. Vegetarian wasn't a thing and Quorn didn't exist.

My mum let me and later the rest of my family followed suit. My children have been raised veggie.

For the anecdotal stat lovers :

I am 6 ft tall.
Ds 1 is 14 and 6'1
None of my vegetarian family have vitamin d or b12 deficiency.
All of us have a sense of humour.
Militant veggies we're not.

People dont know how to feed children a vegetarian diet? The west is bloated and fat, with obesity on the rise. You can't attribute bad diet to just vegetarians.

icenisky exactly! My DC now try far more things than they did before deciding to be veggie. They would never have bothered with quiche or falafel or even vegetable fingers when a ham sandwich or chicken nugget was on offer but they have now. The only meat they really miss that can't be substituted sufficiently is bacon and ham. Neither of those, although delicious are healthy.

in the 1980s. Vegetarian wasn't a thing Mum had a teacher at primary who was a vegetarian - this was in the 1930s and no one batted an eyelid.

I became veggie in the early 80s and these were the ‘cheese salad without the cheese’ days. I always managed to find something to eat out and even now get flustered if I have more than 2 choices in a restaurant.

1980s vegetarian wasn't a thing? I became one at 11 in the 1980s. And what about the large portion of the human race which are veggie for religious or cultural reasons? You know that didn't just happen in the 1980s don't you?

In the U.K. vegetarian really wasn't a thing in the 80s. We were a vegetarian family and the ignorance from others was commonplace. I got adults telling my mum that I refused to eat meat and was clearly fibbing about not eating it, adults trying to give me meat all the time. I didn't know any other vegetarians until secondary school in the 90s and even then there were very few.

You shouldn't force a child to be a vegetarian, just like you shouldn't force a child to eat meat if they don't want to.

It sounds like you're already clued up on how to provide your child with all sources of fat, protein etc. so I would say go for it!

I have never liked meat that I can remember but wasn't allowed to give it up until I was 18 and left for uni. I was then obviously responsible for my own meals and bought what I wanted. I remember sitting at the table gagging and having to stay until I'd cleared my plate. My parents thought vegetarianism was a ridiculous fad that I'd been peer influenced into wanting. I'd let her go veggie if her diet is adequate.

My husband and I are both committed vegans and will be raising our child as one, unless he or she decides that's not what they want, in which case they can choose to eat animal products if they want. I think it's lovely and very important to show compassion at such a young age, and you should definitely help her eat to eat veggie if it would make her happy. Plenty of people raise healthy children on vegetarian and vegan diets - done properly and planned well, it is perfectly healthy to do so. All the best :)

@aliensprig it's a bit mean and nasty to inflict that on a baby who has no say in the matter.

@Alex3101 well, you guys are not really vegetarian then are you? That's just hypocritical. You can't say you're vegetarian and eat fish and steal bacon

Why do people always say it’s about compassion - as if everyone else is just a bunch of heartless brutes.

@Alex3101 how is it fine for a child to tell people it's wrong to kill animals for food and then eat fish and steal bacon?? I mean seriously .....