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Original poster

Just found out my 10yo DD watched porn

32 replies

RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 21:35

I feel quite sick and I really need some advice on what to do here.

I have 3 kids and the rule in our house is no smartphones until 12 years old. My eldest turned 12 a few months ago she is the only one to have one so far.

found out tonight that my middle DD ( age 10) has taken (probably call it stealing i suppose) my husbands old phone and has been keeping it in her room, messaging friends.

Bad enough lying and sneaking around then but when I checked the search history she has accessed pornhub and other porn sites on a few separate occasions.

i feel quite sick that she's seen that stuff and I'm not sure what i should do or say next. Am i being naiive will most kids be doing that!?

she said that Momo made her wonder what all this stuff was and the kids at school talk about killing and sex stuff on the internet and she just wanted to have a look

if anyone is there with any good advice please hit me with it I am freaking out xx

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 20/05/2019 21:36

Are you sure it was her that was on the porn sites?

Firstimpressionsofearth · 20/05/2019 21:38

How come she knew the WiFi password

dementedpixie · 20/05/2019 21:40

It would probably auto connect

Original poster
RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 21:43

yes demented, definitely her. i wish it wasn't
it just auto-connected and as it was an old phone we had in the cupboard. i suppose there was our first error but i still didn't think she had it in her.

OP posts:
Orlandointhewilderness · 20/05/2019 21:44

oh God how awful OP. I think you need to have a word. Ask if any of it has upset her and if she needs to talk about it, then probably explain the difference between real, loving sex and porn. I'm not very helpful I know, but really feel for you OP.

Original poster
RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 21:57

thanks Orlando. I will definitely be speaking to her about it. Just so upsetting!

OP posts:
Orlandointhewilderness · 20/05/2019 21:59

I can completely understand and really sympathise.

prettythepig · 20/05/2019 22:00

How would your 10 yr old dd know what porn hub is?

prettythepig · 20/05/2019 22:01

Sorry just saw the stuff about momo maybe she got it from there x

Original poster
RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 22:04

PrettyPig would it be Momo? I don't really even know what that is, isn't it just something that tells you to do weird stuff. She has lied so much to me in one fell swoop tonight I'm not sure what to believe.

It looked like she searched for ariane grande, and then that search came up with ariane grande sex tape. i suppose once she saw some of it she maybe got more curious???

OP posts:
Original poster
RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 22:05

and then all the other popups come up once you hit a sketchy website don't they?

OP posts:
prettythepig · 20/05/2019 22:07

I have no idea. I would sit and have a talk to her. Maybe someone at school has said something to her and she's been curious and googled it. X

Wildorchidz · 20/05/2019 22:08

I would also let the school know that some of their 10 year old pupils are accessing porn and other sites so that they can - yet again presumably- contact parents and implore them to be vigilant about what their young children access on the internet.
In relation to your own dd is she upset about what she viewed?

NameChangedNoImagination · 20/05/2019 22:08

This happened to me about that age. I saw a pop up and I was like WTF is that? Stepmother caught me.

I really wouldn't worry. It had no bearing on anything. I was just shocked horrified and curious about it all, really.

I think a proper explanation of everything is in order now, really.

PollyShelby · 20/05/2019 22:09

How has she heard of pornhub? Usually they google big boobs or willies or something.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/05/2019 22:12

It's time to start an ongoing discussion about sex, consent, how her body works, and appropriate behaviour. Now is NOT the time to bury your head in the sand or avoid subjects you might feel are awkward. She needs to know that no matter what she has questions about, she can come to you and you will always tell her the truth.

HepzibahGreen · 20/05/2019 22:12

Why don't you have a porn blocker with your Internet provider? ? It's very easy to set up, just call them.

Original poster
RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 22:18

She knows about periods and we have gone through sex so she knows what it is.
Just to clarify, she didn't SEARCH for pornhub, one of her first search terms was 'taking off a bra' and then it just went down a rabbit hole.

she said that the boys have been talking about this stuff on the internet and she didn't know what it was so she wanted to have a look.

thanks NameChanged that is a bit reassuring at least.

OP posts:
Original poster
RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 22:19

yes Hepzibah i will do that. The whole thing has caught me unawares as she has basically sneaked away a phone she was never allowed to have.

OP posts:
Youcouldbemysilversprings · 20/05/2019 22:25

OP I just want to provide some reassurance. Me and my brother found a hardcore porn mag in the park when we were both primary school aged, can't remember the exact age. It opened my eyes yes but it didn't have any lasting effect, I can remember the pictures and do remember thinking how disgusting it all was. I am a normal adult with a healthy sex life now BTW. Try not to worry, just be more vigilant about Internet safety and have a chat with her about how porn doesn't represent sex at all. I still remember tearing a page out of the magazine and taking it home and ripping it into a lot of pieces and putting it in the bin Confused me and my brother still laugh about it today!

Wildorchidz · 20/05/2019 22:32

OP I just want to provide some reassurance. Me and my brother found a hardcore porn mag in the park when we were both primary school aged, can't remember the exact age. It opened my eyes yes but it didn't have any lasting effect, I can remember the pictures and do remember thinking how disgusting it all was

Have you ever viewed porn on the internet? Have you any idea what it is like???

Hecateh · 20/05/2019 22:34

Kids of that age are curious,
when I was that age (dinosaur) it was looking up words in the dictionary and now it is far worse.
Be open, stress it isn't real. Like computer games aren't real life and that you understand that she was curious.
Try not to make it that she can't come to you if she is worried. If you react too strongly you will close down communication

Original poster
RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 22:35

exactly, its waaaay worse.

i remember finding a magazine years ago too and it was pretty tame. but i do appreciate you trying to talk me down from the edge silversprings!!

OP posts:
Original poster
RosieLee3 · 20/05/2019 22:42

solid advice there Hecateh. I am totally fine with the curiosity part its just I hate the thought of her being frightened by something she saw.

She can't even watch David Attenborough because she gets too sad for the animals :/

OP posts:
Moonsick · 20/05/2019 22:45

You might want to check that she isn't being shown it at school as well. DD was shown some in Year 6 by a couple of boys who had been given their parent's old smartphones. I guess because they were walking to school by themselves.

Some children in DS's class in Year 2 accessed some at a home birthday party as well, due to an unlocked iPad being left out on a table. I think they searched for 'bum'. I often think technology has progressed faster than people's common sense.

I think you need to talk to her about it. With DD I told her that it was like acting and it wasn't real. I explained why I personally didn't like it and why it wasn't appropriate for her age. I also told her that a lot of the ladies weren't happy doing it and were being hurt. Remove the mystery, add in some negatives to make it less interesting and I'd also punish her for taking the phone when she knew she shouldn't.