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First time mum - what do i need to know about newborns and young babies?

60 replies

NicciLovesSundays · 14/05/2019 16:16

Going to be a first time parent in a few months and im wondering if there are anythings I can do in advance to be a bit more prepared for when baby arrives beyond buying essential stuff?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Merrow · 14/05/2019 16:24

It sounds stupid but I watched a YouTube video (maybe by mothercare?) about how to dress your baby - the baby clearly didn’t like it but calmed down immediately once it was over, which made me much less worried I was doing something wrong when my DS was fussy! And practice doing up a car seat, I was really surprised at how hard it was to tighten and would have thought I was doing something wrong if it hadn’t been my sister showing me what to do. Have a freezer full of food.

NicciLovesSundays · 14/05/2019 16:48

We dont have a huge freezer but planning on making some things in advance to keep in there - maybe some basic sauces that we can adapt for different meals. I get quite grumpy if I dont eat well so its been on the list for a while. We get our main food delivery from Sainsburys who do a one click online shop which will probably come in handy too.

OP posts:
Merrow · 14/05/2019 19:13

Focus on things you can eat with one hand as either you or your DP will likely be holding a baby! We found chilli the best thing - freezes well, can eat it one handed, not really an issue if it’s left to heat up on the job for too long, you can pack it with vegetables so you know you’re getting something healthy, we had lots of lasagna in the freezer as we thought we’d want comfort food, but it was a faff to eat!

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IDontDrinkTea · 15/05/2019 09:54

The best thing I did was fill my chest freezer with things I could just defrost and heat up. Meant I still had nutritious meals even though I had no time to cook them.

Chippychipsforme · 15/05/2019 10:31

Make sure you've got some bread in the freezer and a carton of milk - you always run out on the day you can't get to the shops.

Try to get a daily nap if possible.

Make sure you know how your pram unfolds and folds if you're going out in the car by yourself. I'd left it to my OH and was completely stuck the first time we went out in the car by yourselves!

Imicola · 15/05/2019 11:44

However you plan on feeding baby, try to do a bit of research in advance. I naively thought I'd be able to breastfeed based on the midwife's advice, and they wouldn't even discuss with me the possibility that I might not be able to. I couldn't and I really wish I had looked into (a) what you do if baby can't latch, (b) what you need in terms of breast pumps, bottles, sterilisers, and formula etc.
Other things I didn't know (zero baby experience!} ...
Babies need fed every 2 to 3 hours, and when very young you may need to wake them to feed including overnight.
Nappies without a vest or something else to hold in place tend to go wrong!
The first clothes sizes will probably be grown out of within a couple of weeks.
You will be so tired in the first weeks /months that you'll probably hallucinate. Just make sure you are following safe sleep guidance for baby.
And enjoy 😊

NicciLovesSundays · 15/05/2019 13:12

@Imicola did you find any feeding resources particularly helpful?

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FannyFeatures · 15/05/2019 13:18

They really are all different, people will big you down with what they're baby liked, what helped soothe them and of course how advanced they were meeting milestones...

Try not to take it all to heart as your baby will do things in their time so try not to stress that your friends cousins sister was walking across the room fully potty trained at 3 weeks whilst yours still eats/sleeps and shits 90% of their time away!

GummyGoddess · 15/05/2019 13:19

Make sure you have steak knives, easier to eat one handed.

Maternity freezer pads are something you can do in advance, they're very soothing.

Imicola · 15/05/2019 13:27

I think Kelly mom was the site I used most, but you could also attend bf support groups before the birth... I was going to, but baby came early!

stucknoue · 15/05/2019 13:27

Try to relax and remember that people had babies long before YouTube, tv shows, even books! It's mostly instinct and learning from another mum is very helpful (my friend had her son 10 months before me which was rather handy)!

Yes you will need to buy some stuff, nowhere near as much as sellers of aforementioned stuff want you to believe) and learn how to change a nappy, keep your baby clean and feed him/her, everything else you pick up.

Is it easy - no, but things worth having are rarely easy! Try to enjoy your last few months of sleep.

Thatmustbemyname · 15/05/2019 13:29

Trust your instincts, and have confidence that you know more than you think!

Pipo174 · 15/05/2019 15:29

Research the 4th trimester - I wish I had known before having my baby! They often just do not want to be put down, at all (in my daughters case) and I was completely blown away by the exhaustion of it. The 'Wonder Weeks' app was also a great help for me, explained babies growth spurts and likely fussy periods.

If you plan to breastfeed, join your local LLL facebook group and try to find local breastfeeding support. Invaluable support. It isn't uncommon for breastfed babies to want to feed what feels like 24/7, it is completely normal.

Only have visitors if you feel comfortable having them. Even better if they can offer any support like meals or a spot of cleaning.

Batch cook and freeze, have lots of snacks available fruits etc.

Enjoy the cuddles and remember nothing lasts forever even in the fog of extreme tiredness.

GotThatSlightChewiness · 15/05/2019 15:32

Get an insulated mug! It's the only way you'll have a hot drink for the next 6 months!

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts · 15/05/2019 15:36

Accept help. If you get on well with your mum (and your partner does too) have her come to stay when DH goes back to work. My mum stayed with us for 2 weeks prior to the birth and two weeks after and it was wonderful. She handled shopping, cooking, laundry and made me sleep when I needed it. We were all sad when she left.

HelpAFattieOutHere · 15/05/2019 15:39

Family first aid course - generally covers everything you need to know about about baby, child and adult first aid. Not expensive, I think we paid £20 each.

Wonder Weeks. The app is good, the book is (much) better. In conjunction, they may just save your sanity. Basically explains why your baby is being a total dick for no reason. Turns out their is a reason!

HelpAFattieOutHere · 15/05/2019 15:40

There*

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 15/05/2019 15:44

When dd was born I found her little cry heartbreaking- I’d get really flustered trying to work out the cause of her wailing and trying to calm her down. I found it really upsetting!

It was only when DH pointed out that crying was her only way of communicating. So although a newborn might sound as if someone is trying to murder them, it’s usually a case of them trying to point out to you that they’re a bit peckish, that their nappy is wet or they’ve been mildly inconvenienced by you rudely putting a vest over their head.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 15/05/2019 15:48

If If you are planning to bf, research local support before you have the baby, eg my local nct branch has a drop in session plus my hospital has lactation consultants. I only managed to get going with bf with dc1 by knowing these were there in advance.
My view on childbirth changed a bit after having antenatal classes too-I knew nothing beforehand. If you can, look for reviews to find a teacher who isn't too 'airy fairy'. Mine got a good balance of not too unrealistic but reassuring too.
Most importantly try and start building up friends with similar age babies as soon as possible. Some groups you can go to before dc arrive. It helps knowing you are not the only one having the same highs and lows in the first few months of the baby bubble.

Stylemebabyonemoretime · 15/05/2019 19:28

Not about babies more about you as a Mum - you will know about YOUR baby than you think.

HelpAFattieOutHere · 15/05/2019 22:14

That "overwhelming rush of love" isn't always instant, or even a thing, and that's ok. Sometimes it happens later, or is gradual.

bourbonbiccy · 15/05/2019 22:55

Basically explains why your baby is being a total dick for no reason. Turns out their is a reason! haha one of the best lines I have read recently.

I didn't have the wonder weeks book, but I did have the app for information. I really liked it.
Batch cook meals and freeze.

Be kind to yourself
Sleep/nap whenever you can - you will hear it a million times but honestly do it
Trust your instinct, you may think as your a first time mum you don't know anything --trust yourself a bit
You can never spoil a baby with hugs and kisses
Enjoy it, start a little journal, take lots of photies

VioletHornswaggle · 16/05/2019 13:51

You'll find your own way. All advice here is from people who found their own way Smile but people irl will feel compelled to offer you advice on all manner of things - some will be good, others rubbish.

Sometimes those offering the rubbish advice can actually be health care professionals Grin and you may trust them so much, you'll try their stupid suggestion and lose a few hours/days of your life you'll never get back. Its all living and learning Grin.

I had a HV tell me it was abnormal that DD fed for an hour (30 mins per breast) and I should take her off after max 30 mins. Well, after an afternoon of hell, I discovered that advice was bollocks. Even at 16 months DD took between 30-40 mins to feed. I think I must have had a really slow supply, so when she used a bottle, I always used the newborn ones to mimic the same slowness. We used tommy tippee as they have a boob like teat (well, my boob like..)

bedunkalilt · 16/05/2019 14:04

Find out what baby items are stocked in local shops, eg which nappies and size, which formula (if applicable), which wet wipes, Calpol and such. No matter what we did, we always managed to run out of something fairly important that we needed ASAP!

Stock up for your own recovery. Antenatal services don’t tend to highlight anywhere near enough about postpartum recovery. Even with a fairly straightforward vaginal birth, you need recovery time and some stuff can help. I recommend buying plenty of maternity pads (with wings if you can find them, helps them stay in place), witch hazel (to sprinkle on the pads, nice and cooling), plenty of painkillers (I say get cocodamol in, you can buy over the counter, as well as regular paracetamol), Anusol (loads of pregnant women and new mothers get piles, better to be ready with some relief). And just take it easy. Give yourself at least two weeks to relax and see how things goes when the time comes, but don’t try to run around, play host, tidy and clean etc. I’m not saying no visitors, but focus on having visitors you’re comfortable with, who won’t care that you don’t get up to greet them or make them a cup of tea, who you’re happy to sit with in big comfy clothes, no attention to hair or make up, half dozy because you’ve been up throughout the night. People who just love you and your baby, who want to say hi, maybe even bring you a meal (bonus!) and then will leave you in peace after some newborn snuggles and an easy going chat.

whereonearth · 16/05/2019 14:07

If you’re planning to breastfeed, find a phone number for a breastfeeding consultant in your area now. Don’t rely on helplines but get a number saved in your phone of someone who can actually stop by and see you. Might cost a bit of money (30-70 pounds?) but could make a ton of difference when you’re finding bf hard (and it is hard, for the first 6 weeks)

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