First time mum - what do i need to know about newborns and young babies?

[NicciLovesSundays]

Going to be a first time parent in a few months and im wondering if there are anythings I can do in advance to be a bit more prepared for when baby arrives beyond buying essential stuff?

I think that there is alot you don't get told about how you may feel after the birth. It could be the case that you have to have an episiotomy (spelling). This is where you are surgically cut to assist the baby's head to emerge. After this you're stitched up. This is often very sore and itchy and takes about six weeks to heal. Oddly, this is rarely mentioned to expectant mothers. Also, your milk comes through about two days after the birth and the ballooning feeling as your breasts fill up really is a shock. Have medication in for potential blocked nipple ducts etc. A bag of frozen peas on a swollen breast is always a soother. Also, be prepared for the catalogue of little ailments that babies get. Snuffles, breathing that sounds like a tractor engine, cradle cap, baby eczema, sticky eye, ear infections and so on. They can really freak you out to start with. Research them and speak to other mothers who've had them. You'll find they're perfectly normal and, like everyone says, there is light at the end of the tunnel. You'll be amazed out how copiously babies shit and how it leaks out everywhere. Also, don't worry about getting into routines. You'll rarely be out of your pyjamas in the first few weeks and the house will look like a tip. Enjoy it, a bit like we enjoy the other-worldliness of Christmas where you concentrate on small things and life slows down.

This may divide opinion but I think from as early as you are comfortable and physically able of course, try leaving your baby with the dad for an hour and go and do something for yourself away from them. I absolutely adore my DS but I can't deny being with him 24/7 is so intense. It really helps me to have an hour to get my nails done or something else frivolous once a week/every two weeks.

I find if I'm having a bath and I can hear DS I can't not get up and go to him. Even though I know logically he is fine with his dad! It's also nice for them to have that bonding time. I find when I'm there my DS is just constantly looking for me and doesn't settle as well with his dad.

I agree with everything redbedheadd said. I love my 8 week old little girl more than life but one afternoon a week out of the house makes me a much calmer, more patient, more resilient mother. I can't just go sit in a different room and read or whatever because my body can't relax if I can hear her.

Yep redbedhead that’s true.

I was with my daughter non stop, had to do everything for her myself because I didn’t think DH would do things properly.

A couple of months in I broke down, gave him some expressed milk, packed a bag and checked myself into a hotel for the night! A bit extreme but we really do all need a break sometimes.

Some great honest advice here. Thanks, keep it coming :)

Lavender oil in the bath was a brilliant way of soothing any soreness from stitches or bruising. It also helped to relax the baby when I then did skin to skin with her/breastfed her after I had come out.

My baby used to let out a few cries/moans/whines as she was going to sleep. I learnt it was better to wait for a second or two to see if she was just getting rid of the final bit of energy or if she actually needed me then swooping straight in and picking her up.

Work with your own personality. I know that for me it is important to shower daily and keep a clean house. When DD was tiny I didn't keep on top of these things and I slipped into a fairly dark place. I also used to hate wearing shapeless clothes and leggings. So I made an effort to do things which were important to me and my mood shifted.

Also write things on a calendar. For some reason I found it really soothing to have things planned out although I didn't always go to them. I felt it gave structure to the week when it can feel quite isolating otherwise.

And finally, it's ok to wait until your baby is more responsive to things before paying for baby groups.

I am 100% bookmarking this thread for when baby arrives - great honest and practical advice!

I have just had a look at this list of Newborn Essentials - did you buy anything on this list that you didnt use that much?

www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy/newborn-essentials

Both my boys had tongue ties and couldn't feed so with my second I planned for the risk of this happening again. I would take some sterile syringes for collecting colostrum just in case and have a pack of ready made formula bottles at home just in case breastfeeding just does not work and the baby is screaming hungry/ your nearing the end of your rope. I did manage to breastfeed my second in the end but we needed these bottles just to get us through the first few days as he was very hungry and awaited his tongue tie to be cut. My sister was harvesting colostrum and froze it toward the end of pregnancy to take the pressure off although I never found time...
I would also pack a really nice soap or something for the shower after as you will feel rubbish and it's a nice luxury to have to cheer you up ( I always feel sorry for myself after birth ) .
Finally i organised to have everything I needed within easy reach so I could do it with the baby in tow I.e blankets and pillows near the sofa, tea cups spoons and sugar on the kitchen counter next to the he kettle, a little basket of clothes and nappies etc near in your bedroom in case you discover meconium explosion and dark coloured towels + maternity pads and pants next to the shower to put on as soon as you get out.
I hope you enjoy your new bundle of joy and have a healthy baby/ birthing experience! X

Me and my husband hadn't tried to use the car seat and as stupid as it sounds had no idea how to put baby in it. We hadn't even taken the tags off. We ended up arguing and getting majorly stressed and having to find a random nurse to help us in reception 🤣😂 definitely watch a YouTube video and practice tightening and untightening the straps xxx