First time mum - what do i need to know about newborns and young babies?

[NicciLovesSundays]

Going to be a first time parent in a few months and im wondering if there are anythings I can do in advance to be a bit more prepared for when baby arrives beyond buying essential stuff?

Trust your instincts

Ask for a lactating consultant in your ward, you are “entitled” to stay on the ward until your baby latches and starts feeding if a first time mum.. but only a lactation consultant will push for that right and help you. Bf can be extremely difficult to grasp for a tired mum who has a baby struggling to latch (like mine).

Freezer full of food. You say your one is small. That’s what put me off too. For next baby I will take off the drawers and not put anything aside from freezer meals.. stacked up.. hunger is a disaster in the first few months while breastfeeding and I spent it munching buiscuits.

Sleep well. You will miss it. Nap when baby naps. And practice the organised mum method from now it will be the only way you stay on top of it all.

Wear a poncho at home so you wipe off puke and don’t need to wash your clothes often.

Baby wearing saved my sanity. Invest in a good one.

YouTube videos (day in the life), helps set your expectations. But this was their best day just remember that.

Get help for the first month.

“Commando Dad” is a nice book for your DH to read as it is a simplified instruction manual to help you out and puts a nice spin to it. I enjoyed it for myself too.

Read up on reflux and colic. Those two are what makes 4rth trimester overwhelming so if you are ready you can cope better.

If you are breastfeeding read up on cluster feeding. Forceful let down. Kelly mums is good for that.

Padsickles were really nice if you tear down there.

Get someone to agree to back up help for the first month. DH for the first two weeks but if he has to go back to work, someone to help afterwards too until you recover.

Find out the nearest soft play and play groups and mums in your area to save your sanity for the first 6 months when you are sick of repeating the same routine and need support in your new lifestyle. There are many apps that help with this.

Buy baby clothes for the first months in predominantly white or light colours so you don’t have to wash multiple loads each day. Don’t bother buying too much 0-3 they will grow out of it so quickly. Invest in 3-6 and 9-12 and you can dress baby in things slightly smaller/bigger in between lol.

You will soon regret buying too many baby clutter. Minimize.

Maybe see whats local to you if you fancy some air or need to walk baby to settle. Ie local coffee shops, national trust places (membership worth getting if local enough), museums or galleries you can walk around when its raining outside

If you’re planning to breastfeed invest in lansinoh nipple cream and trust your body to feed your baby. Definitely go to some breastfeeding groups, your health visitor will be able to provide details.

Batch cooking is a great idea. We didn’t cook for the first three weeks and never ate a takeaway.

Every baby is different don’t get bogged down with what everyone else is doing. Trust your own instinct.

@kirst567 😂😂

I thought a baby carrier was the best thing, and from quite early on. Was useful in the nights where DD wouldn't go back to sleep. The motion helped her doze back off no bother. I got the egro 360. I still use it now for going out and she is 14 months. It's a handy thing.

If you plan on formula feeding I bets in some formula dispenser pots. So much easier setting them up every day to make a bottle than measuring out in demand.

It gets easier and more interesting every day. At first they're just this mini sack of spuds that does nothing but cry and poo. But then they lift their head. And they smile and they roll and sit and laugh etc etc.

My toddler now cuddles me. Not let's me hold him, but actually cuddles back. It's the best feeling in the whole world!

Research the 4th trimester - I wish I had known before having my baby! They often just do not want to be put down, at all (in my daughters case) and I was completely blown away by the exhaustion of it.

Definitely this! There must be about five threads a week along the lines of 'but my baby will only sleep on me?!' And people being amazed that this is the case! This an the dreaded four month sleep regression. Forewarned is forearmed!

Start enjoying cold coffee, or buy a flask!

Learn to eat 1 handed

Practise fake smile of "thanks for the advice" to the know alls

Make a scrap book, take lots of pictures

Hold your baby, lots! If anyone tells you that you shouldn't, hit them with a shovel

Enjoy your baby!

Sleep bundlers are good for all those night time nappy changes.

If the bugger really won't sleep then do shifts with your DP. My DH looked after the baby from 9pm-2am ish, just getting me up once to breastfeed so I got some sleep for the first 7 weeks. I did 2am-9am so he got some sleep.

Absolutely batch cook and freeze meals you can microwave and eat one handed.

Enlist friends and family to come for cuddles so you can shower/clean the house (cleaning is important to my mental health, I get that it’s not to everyone!) until you get to the blessed ‘baby happy in a bouncy chair’ stage.

Make a plaque saying ‘Everything is a Phase’.

Get a list of baby groups near you and start going as soon as the monotony kicks in.

Invest in some comfy trainers. Most babies sleep brilliantly in prams and if you’re lucky you can end up at a coffee shop and enjoy a hot drink and book in peace!

Learn to poo fast 😂

Re cold coffee -- Get one of those flask coffee/tea cups with a lid. Keeps it warm and not so much worrrying about spilling it on baby.

I also found that I craved chocolate biscuits like my life depended on it. (Was BF) And that's fine in the beginning, but when you feel that your addiction has gone overboard, there are some great hypnotherapy sugar craving videos on youtube.

When you wind your baby, tap gently to the left of his spine (baby’s left) as opposed to in the middle as this is better positioned for their stomach - when I learned this it was like a whole new baby appeared because the gas just popped up....

If you spend all day in your pjs, or naked from the waist up with dripping boobs, that’s totally fine.

Sometimes, despite all your best efforts, babies just cry. It is their ONLY way to communicate and sometimes, they just feel like shouting about it - once you’ve checked if they’re wet/hungry/need winding or a nap or some skin to skin etc and nothing has worked, accept the crying needs to happen. Cuddle them if you can (they may just want a whinge and need to be in a bouncer or crib) and remember the crying will ease when they’re ready, it’s temporary, and it will end.

Sleep as much as you can and don’t worry about the state of the house or anything else that’s going on. Sleep comes first.

Keep snacks by your bedside for nighttime feeds. And the remote within reach - I spent many an hour watching 24 or Prison Break on dvd (before I had Netflix!) eating a cereal bar or two to get through the night.

Accept that it is very likely to not go as you planned from the off. And understand and accept that that is completely fine because none of it matters beyond you and baby being well. I couldn’t breastfeed in the end - it never occurred to me that this would be a problem. It was, I didn’t, and all was well although at the time I was a wreck.

Cry whenever you want, because your hormones will be in flux for months.

Talk honestly to friends/family/a GP if you’re finding things hard or have questions - no one is judging you.

Try and get out of the house if you can. It’s fine if you don’t but a good walk or coffee shop visit can make you feel more human. Don’t do this instead of sleeping however if you’re tired. Sleep comes first!!!!

Remember there are no silly questions, everyone loves you, and your baby is amazing. You’re going to be fab xxxxxx

Ps, oh also, tea tree oil and lavender for the bath when you’re healing post delivery (even if a csec) xx

Make sure you know how to put the raincover on the pram before you are out and about with baby and it starts pouring down...

Get some good Netflix shows lined up! I didn't realise how much time I'd spend on the sofa!

Ensure you're not the only person who can operate your washing machine, do ironing, turn on the oven, reset the trip switch in the fuse box etc.

If you have a partner at home ensure they know where the vacuum is stored and how to turn it on. You don't want to start reallocation of domestic stuff when you are completely shattered and have a clingy newborn. If you're taking on a full time SAHP role for a bit on maternity, that doesn't make you a full time 24/7 domestic slave.

I wish I'd been better at learning to accept help and managing those offers so I could use my energy to do the fun bits I wanted rather than the drudge I felt I ought to do.

Go with the flow. Forget the routines you have planned out in your head. Your baby will dictate your routine for you, they haven't read the books.

Agree with PP, go with the flow, there's no right or wrong way. Expect to ask yourself on more than one occasion 'what the hell have we done?'. Expect to have that moment of 'I have no idea what to do' when you get home and just feel abit lost. I'd reiterate that you will know more than you think through instinct.
Hormones are a massive bugger aswell for at least the first month, you will sob randomly and have no idea why.

Most people don't have that magical immediate rush of love and that's fine, it takes time to get to know each other and it will come.

On a practical level things we found helpful to have in:
Four pack of the premade formulas with teats for newborns, just incase.

A good 'V' pillow or feeding pillow thing so your arms get a break from the limpet newborns
Hand towels instead of muslins for first few months as absorb more and are soft. Also great at catching a stealth poo or projectile vomit, I found muslins just spread it about!
Good luck, those first month's are a hell of a journey but you can do it x

Get some saline drops in case of a snuffly baby, they work very well and a congested baby can be scary.

Go to the sling library when baby is born.

Be prepared! My baby arrived 2 weeks early with very little warning and we had very little ready!

It’s a cliché but it really does come naturally.

Remember not to freak out if your baby seems a bit poorly sometimes.

As a general rule, if all systems are working, they’re fine. They have a rash, but they’re eating and giggling and pooing and breathing? The rash is probably not major.

If you’re breastfeeding then get some lansinoh cream- put on before and after every feed. Prepare for cluster feeding (baby literally feeding for hours) watch some YouTube’s videos on how to breastfeed- really helped me. Also know that once you get past the first few weeks it won’t hurt anymore and will (hopefully) be amazing. Trust that you have enough milk for your baby. I kept thinking my baby was hungry as she constantly fed and we topped up with formula but in hindsight she had lots of wet nappies and was just cluster feeding!

If your baby cries it’s most likely hungry/ done a poo/ hot or cold and also may be tired/ overstimulated. No one told me newborns can’t stay awake more than 45 mins- 1 hour! I think a lot of DD’s colic in the early days was overtiredness.

Also, don’t change wet nappies in the night just use pampers. They can hold a lot of wee!

Last of all. Don’t feel under pressure to do anything. I remember going out and about after just a few days because I should we had something to prove. I would have been much happier on the sofa!

Congratulations and good luck.

I thought of another thing.

I got a swaddle cloth and baby started sleeping much much better. Her arms would jump and wake her. The swaddle blanket kept her legs loose.

I would say swaddling is a must do. But do your own research.

Be prepared for a 3/4 month sleep regression. Hopefully it doesn't happen for you. But when I thought baby was a great sleeper out of the blue I was up every hour. What killed me was being so unprepared for it. You're mentally prepared for it in the beginning but not when you think it's meant to be getting better. And if you get grumpy (like I did) don't beat yourself up about it. Functioning on bad sleep is really difficult at times, you just have to accept how you feel and your limitations for the day.