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Parenting

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Original poster

Is your life better after having a baby?

56 replies

Marghe87 · 14/05/2019 15:53

Just came across this thread and got a bit scared: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/1146040--deep-breath-I-regret-having-children?pg=2

I suppose I am in need of some sort of reassurance as it all sounds really dreadful! Why would people have a 2nd or a 3rd if having DC is so bad??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Readytogogogo · 14/05/2019 15:55

Life is much harder. But on the whole, better. For me at least..

EssentialHummus · 14/05/2019 16:00

Harder but more sociable.

GummyGoddess · 14/05/2019 16:02

Harder, but wouldn't have it any other way. They make me so happy.

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itscallednickingbentcoppers · 14/05/2019 16:04

As others have said. Harder - much harder. But better. I couldn't live without the little bugger.

December2019 · 14/05/2019 16:07

It's so much harder and very stressful on my relationship with my OH the sleepless nights don't help... but every little smile & giggle makes it so worth it and I can't imagine life without my little cherub

darceybussell · 14/05/2019 16:09

Mine is still quite little but so far it has been brilliant. I was never particularly maternal and didn't expect to enjoy it though, so perhaps it helped that I had very low expectations!!

thebabysmellsofpooagain · 14/05/2019 16:10

It's hard - don't get me wrong - but all completely worth it! I would never be without my DC now, and although from time to time I do miss my old life, I know my life has changed for the better.

FannyFeatures · 14/05/2019 16:11

It wasn't much harder with #1 but definitely much harder with 2.

I never anticipated that #1 would begin to display signs of mental illness and disability as he got older.

In hindsight life would be much easier, and probably more enjoyable, if we hadn't had another. I wouldn't change it now because I love them both and can't even bare to think about life without either of them but if I could rewrite history I probably wouldn't have kids.

LeopardPrintKnickers · 14/05/2019 16:11

Oh goodness, I have three and life is harder and I'm more tired and frazzled, but life is so much richer, more enjoyable and while I may be exhausted, I'm drenched in love for them and from them. The three of them are the best thing I ever did, without question.

thebear1 · 14/05/2019 16:13

Day to day much harder but overall happier for having them in my life.

whereonearth · 14/05/2019 16:22

It’s harder if you constantly compare everything to being a single 20 year old with not a care in the world. Yes, parenting is all-consuming and you don’t ever get a break. You always have to put someone else first now. But in a sense it’s like growing up - maybe living for someone else, rather than just you - is the ultimate growing up we can do! And then there’s the richness and happiness that come with it :) And the love.

IABUQueen · 14/05/2019 16:26

Much harder but much more fulfilling that I decided on number 2

Original poster

Marghe87 · 14/05/2019 16:57

@whereonearth we lead what could seem a fairly boring life to most. We don't drink, hate parties and clubs, don't go to fancy restaurants, have a few (but amazing) friends, like to be home. The only thing I know I'd miss is the freedom when on holiday as I do love traveling.

OP posts:

Rtmhwales · 14/05/2019 17:06

I'm doing it solo and haven't found it harder. I just bring DS with me. Was an avid world traveler before he was born (been to all 7 continents and about 75 countries) and DS has been traveling along with me as a baby. He's been to Indonesia, Australia, NZ, Canada, USA, Mexico, Taiwan and is off to Belize and Honduras this summer. You're not as tied down with a baby as everyone would have you believe. He just slotted right into my life with ease.

whereonearth · 14/05/2019 17:10

@Marghe87 I don’t think you’ll find it that hard then. There’s an adjustment at first with a newborn, I found it a bit shocking in how you aren’t ever alone and can’t do anything basic, like cook! But that gets better. And you can still travel, it’ll just be different for a bit. There won’t be any chilling with a book. Discovering places and walking around - definitely. You might just not want to go anywhere risky.

Original poster

Marghe87 · 14/05/2019 17:23

@Rtmhwales your DS has more passport stamps than I do - jealous! :D
It's so great that you are doing all this with him.

OP posts:

Chippychipsforme · 14/05/2019 17:52

It's hard but in different ways. I used to have a demanding job where I managed a team of absolute arseholes. Today we've been to the park, twice. I'm not working 60 hours a week, stressed and constantly answering emails. Having a baby is exhausting though , you're sleep deprived, always on alert, often isolated and it's boring sometimes.

IdblowJonSnow · 14/05/2019 17:57

Better in profound ways but often fairly shit in superficial ways!
Babies are much harder work than you'd think!
If you want a baby don't over think it as you could always talk yourself out of it.
They are worth it.

PlinkPlink · 14/05/2019 18:10

Hard in terms of having time to yourself and patience.

Fucking awesome though. Amazing watching them grow. His laugh makes my heart just skip a beat. He makes me feel incredibly proud and I feel constant wonder at how we managed to make such a beautiful boy with such a kind heart.
He's hilarious too - not a day goes by without him making us laugh.

Some phases are harder than others. Colic was not fun but it passed.
Vaccinations weren't fun but the grumpiness fades quickly.
Teething has not been fun either. That too will pass

Every single day is different and I feel it balances itself out really.

teyem · 14/05/2019 18:22

I have three, it's harder than I ever thought possible and also better, like all the best adventures.

Scoutingaround · 15/05/2019 10:49

Better. Immeasurably.

theruffles · 15/05/2019 11:22

It's the hardest thing I've ever done but also by far the best. She has brought so much light into my life and a love I didn't think was possible. My whole perspective has shifted and the things I used to find important (mostly to do with career and progression) have fallen down my list of priorities - I'd rather be with her and see her grow and learn things.

Redcliff · 15/05/2019 11:25

Being a parent is hands down the best thing I ever did. Yes its hard at times but so joyful.

Lizbiz89 · 15/05/2019 12:50

You get hard days and easier days. Some days you will be the most stressed out you've ever been and other days you'll be the most content and happy and full of pride you've even been. Very much extreme highs and lows with being a parent. Obviously completely worth it but you have to be prepared for yourself to take a backseat in life. Especially in the early days. No more disappearing off to bed for a cup of tea and Netflix after a shitty day at work etc. Or a nice long lie in on a Saturday morning. Ah those were the days! But your life definitely will have a new purpose and meaning. Wouldn't change it for the world 😊.

mindutopia · 15/05/2019 14:07

I think having children who are yours is a real joy. They are funny and kind and it’s lovely to see them blossom as they grow into actual people.

But day to day life is a slog a lot of the time. It’s tiring and you don’t get much time to yourself and you get so worn down just cooking dinner and collapsing after you’ve gotten them to bed. It’s a bit like Groundhog Day.

That doesn’t mean I regret it. They are some of the best things about my life. But it’s still hard.

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