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Parenting

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Original poster

2 year old transferred to big bed and won't stay in it - what to do???

20 replies

TuttiFrutti · 16/07/2007 19:35

My ds is 2 and 3 months. We transferred him from his cot to a bed 2 weeks ago, but he refuses to stay in it even when he's dog tired.

What can you do if your child just keeps reappearing downstairs? I've heard of "rapid return", but last night we must have carried him upstairs about 20 times. Don't really want to go back to a cot as it feels like a backward move!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

coddy · 16/07/2007 19:35

kepe tkaing him bakc
silently
then tell him off

coddy · 16/07/2007 19:36

oh i also did hte thign that i sat ther on the end of the bed till they wer ALMOST alseep then said "I am just going ot the loo"
and they we r OUT

pinkteddy · 16/07/2007 19:37

Just stay outside the door (or nearby) until he settles so that you can keep putting him back to bed. He soon will when he realises you mean business. you may have to do this for a few consecutive nights though. Good luck!

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Bibis · 16/07/2007 19:38

My mil used to strap my dh in bed using reins .

We put a stair gate on bedroom door, they could get out but couldn't go anywhere .

Good Luck

LucyJones · 16/07/2007 19:38

The first time they get up say 'it's time to go to bed', take them back, tuck them in and say good night.
2nd time just say 'time for bed' and put them in
3rd and all other times just take back and put into bed, no eye contact or words
never let them get all the way downstairs.
This may involve dh sitting in your rom reading the paper
eventually they will get bored.
Might take a few nights but it does work.

teafortwoandtwofortea · 16/07/2007 19:40

What LucyJOnes said. It takes ages the 1st 2nd and 3rd nights but then it gets easier. By ages I mean your entire evening It's wrth it though!

PigeonPie · 16/07/2007 19:42

Get a stairgate on their room, take anything out of the room which might be used for climbing on and let them get on with it. If they go to sleep on the floor, they'll soon learn that the bed is more comfortable! This is what we're doing with DS anyway.

Alderberry · 16/07/2007 20:00

I agree with LucyJones. Thats what I did with my daughter and shes never got up again. Its worth persevering even though it is time consuming initially. The no eye contact no talking thing is important, you want to make it as dull and boring and not like a game as possible. Good luck!!

Original poster

TuttiFrutti · 18/07/2007 13:51

Thanks for all your messages. I am persevering with the "putting back in bed silently" routine, and it does work eventually, but blimey it takes a long time.

Last night I spent an hour going up and down the stairs - must have been about 50 times. As soon as I reach the bottom of the stairs, he's there too. But that is an improvement on the night before when it took an hour and a half so maybe it is slowly sinking in.

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Meeely2 · 18/07/2007 13:56

Defo a stairgate somewhere so they can't get as far as downstairs (sorry i always talk in plural, i have twins), but my method was to go away for a week on business and my husband had them moved by the time i got back!

It was important to keep bedtime routine the same as when they were in cots and not make it more fun or less fun to be in a bed. We had an easy transition but then a few months in after being good as gold we had a few weeks of being up til 9pm trashing their room. We tried everything, but eventually they just stopped and are back to being angels again.

Good luck is what i say.

sandyballs · 18/07/2007 14:00

Stairgate worked for us. We tried the return to bed routine but it was too much of a trauma with twins and Dh couldn't keep quite, kept shouting at them .

Another thing that helped us was telling them how lucky they were to be in bed and how boring it was downstairs, how we wish we could go to bed, but there were sooo many BORING jobs to do etc etc, really laid on VERY VERY THICK . My two soon got the message that they were missing very little, and it was actually more fun in their room. Even though we used to find it trashed and them naked and asleep on the floor when we went up to bed.

Meeely2 · 18/07/2007 14:02

ah yes, naked asleep in a cupboard, been there! Wee and poo everywhere, such fun!

sandyballs · 18/07/2007 14:06

Fond memories eh . Perhaps with a touch of rose tinted glasses though. It probably wasn't quite so sweet as I think!

imnot27 · 18/07/2007 14:11

Stairgate too, and also we put plenty of soft toys, books etc in his bed, so he plays with these until he falls asleep. This is the only thing to have worked with all three of mine, but it does mean they're happy in their rooms, even if they're not actually asleep!

PetitFilou1 · 18/07/2007 15:27

Don't feel bad about going back to a cot if you need to. We did it - twice. It still took two weeks of ds boinging out of bed and being put back (on the third go) and eventually he finally got the idea.....

witchandchips · 18/07/2007 15:34

we're going through the same at the moment with ds 2.4. We do the silent carry back to bed thing. I think coming in and giving them a cuddle after they have stayed in bed for 10 minutes so that staying in one place is rewarded is a good idea. idea is they get attention and love by staying in bed but not by coming downstairs (or by throwing every book on the bookshelf downstairs).

its really difficult not to react though "mummy i don't want to go to sleep, I want to get into mischief"

Flibbertyjibbet · 18/07/2007 15:40

I've just had my first two nights of DS1 2.7yo with side taken off cot bed.
Sat there for an hour each night reading books. Everytime I think he's nodding off he leaps up shouting 'again story again'. Arrrghghgghgh.
Finally seemed to work when I said right thats it, if you get out of bed again I will put the side back on the cot. 'no mummy me stay in bed mummy'.
However I do intend to try and gradually reduce the time I spend reading stories which is basically me sitting on the bed with my bum pinning the blanket down so he can't get out

LowFatMilkshake · 18/07/2007 15:43

Like Bibi we did the stairgate thing, we let DD play in her room and put herself to bed. We put her in her room at 7 and she was always asleep withing 30 mnutes to an hour.

Yes she had a phase of emptying all her drawers, and also a phase of falling asleep on the floor, but they were over quickly, and we now have a little girl who asks to go to bed without fuss and stays in her room with the gate open, only coming out for the toilet or when she looses her security blanket down the side awww.

It worked so well for DD we will be trying the same with DS when the time comes.

Dont know if it made a difference but we also got her (or got given for her) a Little Tykes teddybear bed which she loves.

witchandchips · 18/07/2007 15:44

Think its a bit of mind over matter here. We can't believe that they will stay in bed so we are just that little bit insecure and tentative. Thus we get pushed into "one more story" or "talk to me mummy". Then the getting up and get carried back game begins. Think we need to remember that most children do stay in bed and that there is no reason why ours should not be one of them. BE STRONG. "We're going to have three stories and then a cuddle and then i'm going downstairs and you are going to stay in bed"

Flibbertyjibbet · 18/07/2007 16:19

We might be having three stories tonight but I've already picked them out - they are very short ones, and each of them is about a little person or creature going to sleep, lets hope he takes the hint!

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