Joint parties - what's the present-giving protocol?

[cornflakemum]

we just had DD's 5th party yesterday afternoon at a sports centre/ soft play place.

It was a 'joint' party with one of her friends X from school, so all the kids knew each other, and most kids came with 2 small presents - one for each of the girls. However one child only brought a present for the other child, and two girls brought presents only for my child.

Oh, and we gave X (other birthday girl) a present, but she didn't give my daughter one yesterday. (To be fair the Mum looked horribly embarrassed, and said she'd left it at home, but I think with all the organising etc she'd just forgotten!)

Thing is, the invitation said clearly it was a party for both girls, and I'm sure that, although we split the invitation list and wrote half each, that we put both telephone no.s on as RSVPs. Now I'm worried that the other Mum thinks that I tried to pass it off as just our party or something?

Unless I didn't know the other child at all, I'd always send two little presents for a joint party, wouldn't you?

I'm not particularly bothered, nor is DD, and she had lots of loevly things, but I just don't know how people would decide just to send one present? Do they choose the one the ivitation comes from, or the one they like best, or what?
Strangely the ones who didn't give the other child a present had invitations sent by her mum, so I feel bad about this for some reason?

No presents means no 'thank you' letters
When will you lot learn....

Oh God I never write thankyous to party goers presents just say thank you at the time.
Not very good a thank you letters to relatives either.

I find it quite freaky that mothers will sit and write 20+ thank you notes, as if from their child, writing in the first person - when the recipients are 3 and can't read or write.
When the kids are old enough to write, and the recipients can read it, then they will do thank you notes. Until then, it is all a sham.

Thank you letters! Pah. Entry level. I always send a note, a video grab, another piece of cake, a pair of Agent Provacateur knickers for the mother and......

...a poem specially written and set to music composed by me (but I pretend my child did it) and performed by the London Philharmonic. You've got to do these things right.

...And another present back to thank them for the present they gave you....

And lets not forget a little thank-you note in reply for the delightful little party bags.

You need to invite NKF's dc's to yours