How do you toughen 'em up and help them play nicely!?

[julesrose]

DD is just 4 and will start reception in September. There is a gang of girls at her nursery who at times are hideously obnoxious and competitive towards each other, and at other times sweet as pie. Pretty sure it's all quite normal but they can gang up on each other - especially in a 3, pushing one out. "i'm not your friend, you can't play with us, let's play parties but lets not invite X etc etc.' Had this situation when 2 of them came over to play with my DD the other day. What are the clever things to say when you see them ganging up on one child (mine in this instance though she's no angel..)? What do you say when you get 'they're not being nice to me..boo hoo...' When you can see that they're not being nice but at the same time you don't want to encourage telling tales. All wisdom will be so gratefully received...it's doing my head in!

DD has a few friends the same and if she's part of the "in-crowd" that five minutes, I normally pull her aside and ask her to think about how X, who's being left out, is feeling and to let her join in.
If she's the left out one, a party of our own with sweets normally brings the other little so and sos over....

I tell ds to just say "I am not going to listen to you saying mean things" and come and find something else to do.

Don't do playdates with odd numbers of children if you can help it, there is always one left out.

Tell them that excluding one child is bullying. That's what it is and reception children understand that concept these days and know that it is not nice to be a bully.

3 playing never works ime.

Two or 4 much better.

oh and agree with Franny.