Using the Baby whisperer technique to get 11 week old to sleep, any experiences?

[pevie]

I posted thread on here about my 8 week old who had real problems with both getting to sleeop and staying asleep. Lots of rocking with limited success at times. She also wakes after half an hour, even though still very tired. So we feel we need a new technique to help her go to sleep and stay asleep. Someone mentioned baby whisperer technique of picking up, placing down, etc. Havent tried this yet but hubby has week off work next week when she'll be 12 weeks and we'r hoping to get grandparents to help out with DD1 so we can try it. Can I have any of your experiences please as am really desperate for it to work.

Ooh she's wayyyy too young for pick up put down. Sorry.

Sadly until they are at least 12 weeks, their melatonin secretion isn't working in any reliable way, that's the sleepy hormone btw, so she's not going to sleep reliably whatever you do.

You can try a routine, that will start something good off for later, I co slept for the first month and then we just tried to wing it but it's only now, nearly nine months in, that we have any sort of reliable bedtime and she still wakes up at 5am!!!!

Sorry I know that's not terribly helpful. I did find the no cry sleep solution full of useful ideas.

BTW the reason she wakes after half an hour is we all do that - we have three levels of consciousness, awake (like now hopefully), lightly asleep and deeply asleep. During twenty minute cycles we go between the three. She just hasn't learned to go from one to the other.

Have you tried a dummy?

It will eventually get better I promise!

Am a bit surprised at your response as have read and heard from others that 12 weeks is a pretty good time to establish a routine. Also, we have persevered with evening and night time and she has become much better with this in last 2 weeks, settling about 8 and going back off to sleep until about 7 or so after she wakes for feed at about 4. Only real difficulty is that she finds it very difficult to sleep in day which can make her very overtired. Also how come so many people establish good routines with their babies at thsi time when this hormone hasnt developed? Our first daughter established a really good routine by about 8 weeks.

Am very confused by all the conflicting advice everywhere, but thanks for your thoughts anyway.

I read the book and decided it was not for me but there was some good advice and info in there (excepting the breastfeeding advice which is dire hence my refusnik attitude)

But having said that my now 16 wk old has fallen into her exact routine of his own doing.

They do learn to sleep longer I promise.

Pevie - all babies are different - some settle into a routine like a dream - others don't. We tried the Baby Whisperer for DS and I'll be frank with you - nothing worked! My mum sagely told me 'put the books away and just let the baby lead you' so we did and he found his own routine at 4 months, aided with a dummy and a binky! The rocking can be a pain in the bum but it won't be forever so just look on it as a chance for lots of cuddles before they get independent and don't want any cuddles and enjoy the baby

PS Can still remember staring wildly at DS with the book in one hand a frantically saying to DH he's on the EASY routine...he is supposed to have an activity after he's eaten - not go to sleep....basically DS was ESAY but hey - that's what he was happy with!

Sorry that should be ESYA

Just go with the baby - you can exhaust yourself even more with such a little one by trying to fit her in a patters that doesn't suit her. She doesn't "have real problems getting to sleep ' she's just a tiny baby. What's wrong with cuddling/feeding hr to sleep? Before you know it she'll be 13 and won't want you in the same county, never mind in her bedroom, cuddling and singing her to sleep

Katelyle - totally agree with you! I miss all the cuddles from when DS was very small!

LOL I did the Baby whisperer thing too for a while, but got fed up of yelling 'WTF is this baby only doing the EA but no SY?????'

I read everything I could get my hands on and the HV said it was prob contributing to my PND and to stop reading! Mum seconded this!! I was a walking oh but SWMBN said this, the baby whisperer said this....

I tell you, if I ever have another baby, I'm going to be sooo chilled out this time around! If it wants to feed, it feeds, if it wants to sleep, it sleeps...if it stays awake too much - I'll leave it in the garden...roffle!!

I think the trick is to acknowledge that:

(1) The baby hasn't read the book
(2) The baby isn't old enough to have motivations
(3) Everything that happens in the first six months is totally random
(4) You will survive it - but you won't forget it!

I should print that on cards and hand it out at the antenatal groups where I do the bfing demos.

I tried it for about 20 minutes. I found the picking up and putting down a bit stressful, and didn't think my baby was any of the types, and couldn't identify any of the sleepy signs. Also, it gets a bit stressy about not getting a baby into 'bad habits'.

To be honest, if your baby will be fed to sleep in the early days it is a blessing, and I don't think you have to worry about bad habits until they get a bit more aware of their surroundings at about 5-6 months.

I did find pat/shush quite useful at about 5-6 months and then moved on to Gradual Withdrawal.

And

(5) Babies do not have wants that are not also needs.

Horray for whokilledharrypotter (Ginnie did by the way!)

Thanks KL - it's hard to think all these things when you are dog tired and the baby just won't shut up for five minutes while you rest your eyes though. I still remember it oh too well - actually DD STILL doesn't sleep well.

Roll on the teenage years when I can't get her out of bed I say!

KL - also, I don't think you should tell people that - they'll get all cross that you are spoiling things.

Or Aunt Petunia.

Actually I think it'll turn out that Dudley is an incredibly talented wizard and he does it.

Mine sleep well, they just like to do it in our bed - and when one of them is a great lumbering 11 year old it gets a bit crowded. Many's the time that dp and I have tried to go to bed to find it occupied by two children and two cats. We bow to the inevitable and sleep in their beds!

Oooh I thought you'd read it.....okay then....

Actually I can't even be arsed to read the last one, the last one stank so badly I had to fumigate the library!

Last one in the series (must go to bed now!)

Interested in others perspectives on this. I thought I was going for 'softer' option by doing pick up put down rather than CC, but seems not. Most of my friends actually did CC with their little ones but i felt she was way too young for this.

Anyway, bottom line is, am not sure if I can totally go with the flow for 6 months as I also feel its a bit cruel when shes going into complete meltdown with lack of sleep. Also, DD1 is quite stressed by the fact that mummy constantly has a baby in her arms either sleeping or being consoled because shes so bloody knackered she cant sleep.

Thats why I feel its important to try and get some kind of routine, no matter how loose!!

Take her in to your bed, snuggle with her, give her access to the all night buffet, and enjoy your time with her! I never felt so happy as when I finally gave up trying to get my DD to sleep in her cot (ages of walking and rocking, followed by her waking up when we put her in her cot) and just decided to sleep with her.
I have just read a brilliant, up to date book "The Science of Parenting", explaining how leaving a baby distressed has serious and long term effects on their developing brain. One of the best books I have ever read (and as DD ripped it I think I may get to keep it as the library will probably charge me for it amyway!). Babys are terrible sleepers, and the idea that we are failing if we can't get them to sleep alone and through the night is what is stressful to parents.

My view: CC is an oxymoron and you sound far too nice to do that anyway! Just keep at what you are doing, eventually it will get better. You must remember from DD1 that they do settle eventually?

Pevie

It doesn't work for everyone, but if you want to give it a try then there are 2 "Baby Whisperer" techniques - one is "Pick up, Put down" which is for older babies - those older than 4 months. The other method, is Shush/Pat.

You need to read the relevant paragraphs in the book to understand properly - and it took me a while to get my head round it. With Shush/Pat you can pick up your baby to calm her down, but the aim is that you have her in her cot, and that you gently "shush" her whilst gently patting her back. The theory is that babies find it hard to multitask, and that if they're focusing on the rhythmic patting and shushing, that they stop crying! I also gave my DS a dummy which helped enormously - he abandoned it at 3 months, but it was great while it lasted.

Having tried both this method with DS and CC with DD1 (now 11) I found this easier (but took longer) - but at the end of the day you have to find a method that suits you and your DD.

Pevie,

You CAN aim for some sort of routine at 3 months, and if you are that way inclined, like I am, your life WILL be a lot easier for it.

My ds was v.easy so I never had to try that hard, but my friend who had a baby who didn't sleep well, had great success with the shush/pat method, which is more appropriate for a baby of 12 wks.

It took about 1-2 wks but my friends dd went from only sleeping in her parents arms for 20 mins at a time, to sleeping in the cot for 1 1/2 hr blocks.

Go onto the Baby Whisperer website - there's loads of advice there and case studies too.

You don't just have to put up with the situation and assume she'll grow out of it. If you're willing to put a bit of effort in now, you'll make life a lot easier for yourself and your baby.

She is too young for pick up / put down though, and definitely too young for cc.

Good Luck - you can do it!!!!