Disapline 3 year old.

[sarah8484]

Any advice on how to curb my 3 year olds behaviour would be appreciated. My 3 year old (turned 3 in feb) is hard work and pushes my buttons all day everyday! Today he has played up around the supermarket (running away, making silly noises) then we had a opticians appointment and he was not listening to the lady and been rude. (He knows what he's doing). Now he's just threw a stone at the conservatory window and broke it. Shattered to pieces. I told him off and asked him why he did it and he said 'cus i did' i said why did you throw it he said 'to break the window'! Today is one of his worser days but everyday he pushes my buttons. Im at my wits end. How do i curb his behaviour?

I have no advice but I didn't want to read and run. That sounds really tough

To be honest, he sounds like a fairly normal 3yo. Maybe not the stone throwing but definitely the rest.
Have you tried wearing him out? Take him for a really long walk on the common. Play football in the park for an hour? Take him swimming.
My ds was much calmer in the afternoons if he’d had a very strenuous morning.

Look up Hand in Hand Parenting, it’s a life saver

My kid plays up most when she feels disconnected from me. Yesterday she was a demon as I’d been at work for a bit and then had stuff to do round the house. Today I deliberately spent good quality time with her, made sure she felt she had my attention a lot and she was a different child. She didn’t need to create fuss to get my attention as she already had it. Who knows what tomorrow brings as I’m working again!!

Try disciplining him?

Thank you @Divgirl2 and @Seniorschoolmum im in the middle of losing weight so every day after the school run we go to the park, he rides his scooter and I jog next to him. We do swimming, soft-play centres, trampolining. We barely keep still plus he does 2 full days a week at nursery. I know im partly to blame as i have spoiled him and im a softy but just don't know how to discipline him. He never takes me seriously.

I think playing up in the supermarket and the opticians is fairly normal behaviour at his age. What do you do now op? (asking so as not to just recommend stuff you've already done). Star/reward charts worked well for my ds at this age ( not at all with my dd though).

@InDubiousBattle I make a big song and dance when he does good, let him pick a treat, let him choose a game. And when he's misbehaving i let him know what he's doing is not good/nice and why and that it makes mummy said but he just laughs or repeats it. Thanks for the responses. I hope it is just normal 3 year old behaviour and he grows out of it. My other ds who's 9 was never like this. Just really stressed as its putting strain on mine and dh's relationship.

Lol, you tell him Mommy is sad??

FFS

I know @AlpacasAreLlamas I feel i have created a demon has he can be that bad i want to just leave has cant cope, i know that sounds dramatic but its just one naughty thing after another. And no, I don't know how to discipline him that's why im asking for advice.

If my manager came to me at work and said that she felt sad because I had abused another colleague, I'd laugh and laugh and laugh.
There is no consequence OP

Yes @AlpacasAreLlamas i tell him im sad because im trying to get him to realise how his actions have made me feel.

Sarah what do you mean when you say he repeats it when you say he makes you sad?
Also, please don't let anyone here make you feel worse.

@FarFrom he repeats the behaviour. And i'm not

AlpacasareLlamas that’s utterly unhelpful, the OP asked for advice, what consequence do you suggest she employs?
I’m currently trying to decide what for of discipline / consequence / punishment to use with my DS at 2.5. We haven’t ended one much up until now but we are starting to so I’m also interested in advice.

Naughty step.. Sit him down on a step or a stool or a penalty spot.. Whatever. Tell him why he is there. He can only get up when he's sat quietly for 1min for every year of his life. If he kicks up fuss time starts again. At the end of the time.. Ask him what he did wrong so you know he understands what he did. Then ask for an apology

Some people will suggest time outs and naughty steps, taking away toys etc.

Another approach is the kind of thing outlined in books like How to Talk so Kids will Listen..., or Toddler Calm.

Maybe have a read of those books and see what you think.

You can also usually access parenting classes from your local family centre. Many use something called the Solihull approach.

@AlpacasAreLlamas that's not at all helpful.

Hopefully he will outgrow this behaviour op.

As for discipline if you say no treats if he's badly behaved, then make sure you stick to it and soon he will realise only good behaviour is rewarded.

I have the same problem, OP. My DS just doesn't take me seriously. We use the naughty step, but if he is naughty and I tell him to go to the naughty step he shouts YEEAH, goes running over, giggling, and will happily stay on the step until I make him apologise. It's a big, fun, game to him. Not a punishment!!!

My DD is the same and doesn't really 'get' discipline either, so I also tell her I am sad when she has upset me and make her/ask her to say sorry for what she has done. They are very much getting to grips with their emotions at this age OP so I don't think it's laughable to tell him you're sad at all as alpaca previously said.

@Tailfeather I can imagine my son will be the same. Everything is a big game to him, takes nothing seriously including myself. But am going to try the naughty step tomorrow and hopefully it'll work for us.

It's so hard! And I don't often raise my voice, but if I do, or talk firmly or sternly, he finds it hilarious!!!

P

What did he do that was rude at the opticians? Was he having an eye test or were you?

Regarding the supermarket, if he isn't listening then I would keep him in the trolley seat and not let him run around. I get my main shopping delivered, so supermarket trips are not so pressurised