Disapline 3 year old.

[sarah8484]

Any advice on how to curb my 3 year olds behaviour would be appreciated. My 3 year old (turned 3 in feb) is hard work and pushes my buttons all day everyday! Today he has played up around the supermarket (running away, making silly noises) then we had a opticians appointment and he was not listening to the lady and been rude. (He knows what he's doing). Now he's just threw a stone at the conservatory window and broke it. Shattered to pieces. I told him off and asked him why he did it and he said 'cus i did' i said why did you throw it he said 'to break the window'! Today is one of his worser days but everyday he pushes my buttons. Im at my wits end. How do i curb his behaviour?

@velvetpineapple wow. Genuinely never expected to see some admitting hitting a child let alone active advocating for child violence in 2019....

Just to be clear - "It is illegal for a parent or carer to smack their own child, except where it amounts to "reasonable punishment", according to section 58 of the Children Act 2004." so actually, chances are it would be found illegal. Probably pretty hard for a fully grown adult to justify violence towards a tiny, defenceless child just because they laughed at you....

Smacking and aggressive shouting just show that the adult has lost control and teaches the child that violence is normal and acceptable and is massively counter productive to the creating of positive behaviours.

Also - www.theguardian.com/society/2018/oct/15/countries-where-smacking-children-is-banned-are-safer-to-grow-up-in

@Sarah8484 sending you hugs, dealing with a toddler is tricky. They don't have the developmental capacity to behave how we want them to all the time. You have some good advice on here and don't be scared of asking for help with HVs/ GPs etc. Asking for help just shows you are a really good parent that wants the best for your child. Good luck!

He won’t respect you until your punishment means something to him. Time out, take away a favourite toy, no pudding after dinner, etc.

It might help to have realistic expectations of what a 3 year old understands and how they can actually behave too. Have a look at Sarah Ockwell-Smith and Hand in Hand parenting. As adults we have high expectations of how children should behave but a lot of the time they mentally can’t do what we are asking.

Laughing at you isn’t being blatantly defiant, it’s because they feel a strong emotion but don’t have the capacity to work out what to do with that. Agree that needing a clear consequence to help them learn is useful as well as clear boundaries so they know what might trigger a consequence. So something like ‘we can do this activity but if you throw it or break it, i’ll have to take it away.’ Then if they do what you’ve asked them not to then follow through with the consequence. Always make the consequence directly related to the task though so it makes sense. Telling them not to throw or break something and then saying no telly makes no sense to them as it’s not related.

Hope it gets better!

Following, my DS does seem to get my discipline but he's a defiant little so and so and it's thrown me as he was an angel two year old.

OP I also explain it makes me feel sad etc, he totally understands so don't quite get why some PP are giving you a hard time! I also use the step when it's really bad (mainly hitting or kicking other than anything else) and natural consequences eg fine if you don't want to eat your sandwich for lunch but there's nothing else, or misbehaving while the TV is on = TV going off.

Keep meaning to look at some of the recommended books.