Are breastfed babies more...'needy?' For want of a better word!

[Elmo311]

Hi all!
Not trying to offend. And i know every baby is different....

I have a 10month old son who i tried to BF but it didn't go well for many reasons, you can ask about that if you feel it is relevant! So he is formula fed + solids now.
I was very sad that i couldn't BF him, but he did/does well on formula and my OH is very hands on so it's been great to be able to share the feeding duties!

I am currently due with baby number 2, and having a c section in 2 weeks 6 days! (Not that I'm counting...) and I'm wondering whether to try to BF or to FF as it would be great to have my OH's help?
I also see lots of posts on MN where women are struggling with BF and how their baby only wants them etc and I'm not sure if I'd end up more stressed?

It doesn't help that my friends from NCT classes who breastfed for 6months said with their next child they would go straight to formula! (All of them)

I am aware i could pump and then bottle feed, but i know from before how time consuming that is and i think it would be too hard with my 11month old running around the place!

My OH has 5 weeks off when baby is born so i have time to establish BF.
I would like to give it a go but it would be nice to hear about more chilled out babies who BF and can go to dad or others.

I would also like to introduce a pacifier fairly early on, and if BF i would probably introduce a bottle before bed.
When is the best time to offer these? Straight away as i heard after the 6 weeks it can be impossible?

Thanks for reading, and apologies if i upset anyone! Not meaning to.

Elmo

Good questions and thinking, every baby and different and it’s hard to advise. If it helps with my second I was so exhausted I breast fed and co slept as running around after a toddler and the night feeding exhausted me. We didn’t plan it that way, it just happened. Dummy and formula came later.

EBF x2. Both preferred to sit on a person but it doesn't have to be me unless they need a feed. Both sleep/slept in cot between feeds despite undiagnosed cmpi in 1st and ongoing colic in 2nd. 2nd feeds a lot but would either way. I think it's baby's personality as much as anything!

Its definitely easier second time around so i wouldn't rule it out. My best and easiest bf baby out of 4 is by far the least needy out of all my children.

Both took a bottle from 4 weeks no problem, 2nd refuses dummy because sucking with no food coming out and not chompable is not an acceptable state of affairs!

Remember that breastfeeding is the biological norm. So the needs of
If baby are the priority. Any perceived “benefit” from babies being artificially fuller for longer is a modification away from the biologically optimum option. (Not judging - I mix fed myself.)

I bf both mind till 15 months and neither had a bottle at all or a dummy.
Neither were clingy. I didn't co sleep. I night weaned both at 10 months. I will be doing the same with my 3rd. 😊 Do what you think will work for you.

I formula fed my eldest son due to allergies and he required a specialist milk. I had my second son by emcs 6 weeks ago who I've entirely breast fed. From the two he's so much easier to feed! In the night there's no delay to sort a bottle therefore he doesn't cry and wake up the eldest! I can also feed him one handed while playing or reading with the eldest, which is struggle to do without a spare hand! I don't miss sterilizing and preparing bottles either each night! He's only 7 weeks old so he may be more clingy in time but currently no difference! I've also introduced a dummy with no problem at all, from a couple of weeks old. I'd see how it goes and make no decision before the baby is here but prepare for both! Good luck!

I'm still breastfeeding my DS (now 2) and have no regrets at all. Obviously DH couldn't feed him but he has done everything else, nappy changes (almost all of them in the beginning!) and bathtime is his job. As for night wakings, when DS fed every time it was obviously me, but as he reduced the night feeds, DH did his share of the wakings. And since we stopped night feeds we share night wakings.

I started expressing and we introduced a bottle when DS was about 1 month old, he would have the occasional bottle of expressed milk to give me a break. FWIW I think that's a good time to introduce a bottle as you've had time to establish breastfeeding but not left it too long.

We did offer a dummy but DS never took to it.

I went back to work (part time) when DS was 9 months old, he has 1 day with DH and 2 days at nursery, and is obviously fine without me. To begin with he would have bottles of ebm or formula and now he just has food and water during the day.

I did find breastfeeding very difficult in the beginning (DS had tongue tie so it was painful, he fed constantly and I got mastitis - but we got the tt divided and we were fine after all). IMO it was worth persevering as breastfeeding has lots of benefits and (weird though this might sound) I like it!

However that's just my experience and I respect that others choose to bottle feed which is perfectly valid too.

I genuinely think that BF is the easier option. No running up and downstairs making bottles in the middle of the night, no stressing out about heating bottles when out and about while baby screams for a feed etc.
After the first 5 weeks you are going to be on your own without DH most of the day anyway so no benefit of being able to give a bottle. Your DH can always give a bottle of expressed milk once a day to give you a break and help the baby bond with him.

DS2 is EBF and fairly chilled out, he’ll happily sit with DH and play etc and slept on him a lot in the early days.
We gave a bottle of expressed milk at around 5 weeks and a dummy from 6/7 weeks and he took them both fine (a little perseverance required for the dummy though)

Good luck

I have breastfed four babies and they have each been different!

DD1 nightmare. Didn't sleep, hated everyone but me. She is lovely now though!

DD2 easy. Slept through at six weeks, happy to be held by anyone.

DD3 middling. Slept through a bit later, but was super sociable and love other people.

DS1 also middling. He doesn't sleep though (11 weeks old), likes being held by anyone but does prefer me really!

I mixed fed my first, due to complications at birth and low supply. It was great - lots of options.
I was going to do the same with my second, but she had other ideas! Never took a bottle of either formula or expressed milk. Never took a dummy. She wasn't needy, and was quite relaxed, but it did mean she was totally reliant on me (luckily I was a SAHM). In some ways it was easier not having to worry about bottles when out and about, but it was fairly full on. I eventually stopped at 15 months. She is nearly 15 years now and has never drunk milk!

Well my second we bottle fed from the moment he was born (scared to try after the first experience but now I look back I think it would have been much easier the second time) he was the clingiest baby I've ever come across, he was stuck to my hip for 13 months and wouldn't let me put him down ever. He is 5 now and I still struggle to get him to leave me, he manages to go to school but that's about it.

In my humble opinion a ff baby sleeps better and is easier to get into a routine. Ive got 3dcs. Breastfed dd15 initially but ff dd8 and ds11months exclusively. I didnt like doing it and i question why bf babies require extra vitamins whilst ff babies dont. If its meant to be nutritionally better this doesnt make sense. In a modern society with all its demands i would always choose formula and my two youngest were so easy. Dd15 was a highmaintenance baby until she went on bottles. She was starving.

I have incredibly clingy children, who at 17 and 13, could still be described as limpets
I breastfed them both until they were 2 but I think the defining thing for them both, was that I was at home until they both went to school. They both suffered with terrible separation anxiety when they were younger and even now love following me around!!

“I didnt like doing it and i question why bf babies require extra vitamins whilst ff babies don’t”

Everyone should take vitamin D. Ff babies get it because it is added to formula. Simple as that.

I think the defining thing for them both, was that I was at home until they both went to school

I too was at home with both mine (still am working part time from home, and eldest is now 17!). Mine couldn't have been less clingy. My 2yo dismissed me from going into her dance class by telling me I could stay with the other Mummies in the waiting room as the 'big girls' (4yo) would look after her

I think it all depends on the character of the child.

Thank you all of you for your replies!
It really does seem as though I'll have to see what her personality is like to an extent 😂

Please keep commenting! I'd like to hear more about night weaning, offering bottles and also how to not be used as a pacifier if they refuse to take one?

So much to learn!

Oh, one more thing. For those who have had baby number 2, did your milk come in quicker the 2nd time round? I had to wait 4 days with my son, and he was jaundice so we just fed formula at the hospital. Because he was under the UV light the rest of the time we didn't do much skin to skin or BF work really.

I had a hard time BF my DS and stopped at 5 weeks. He went into formula fine. My DD is now 6 months and I have EBF since she was born and I absolutely love it!!! I've personally found it much easier this time round and more convenient to BF with a toddler as there is no faffing to get formula ready or pack into a bag for a day out. My baby is not clingy (she kinda can't be due to the toddler haha).
I'd say give it a go, safe in the knowledge that you can fall back on formula if you don't like it or it doesn't work out.

Should also add that I express milk and she takes a bottle just fine if someone else is feeding her. She doesn't really bother with a dummy but will have it for a few minutes if she trying to settle for a sleep and has already fed

@Seeline ah that makes me feel better! Honestly, they are limpets and I've always thought it was me being at home. It's not really a problem anymore, although my eldest isn't venturing far for uni

I have had two happy and independent bf babies. Both slept in their cots and were happy to chill throughout the day on a playmat or in a bouncer. The first one switched to formula when I went back to work and it didn’t make any difference to the 2-3 hours waking up at night for feeding. They weren’t clingy but obviously I couldn’t go too far for too long if I wanted to feed them directly so that has limitations. I noticed it more with my second as it restricted what I could do with my first and DH had to take her to activities that needed adult assistance. I feel like I missed out on days out just me and DD1, that was the only downside for me.

Swings and roundabouts. Being solely responsible for feeding can be exhausting but if DP takes up the slack by settling baby after feeds etc it can be fine. It is more convenient for sure to not have to faff about with bottles etc. But without question, breast is best. Formula is fine. And unless I had a VERY good reason, I would always try to breastfeed. After all, once I had dc, I would always at least try to do the absolute best for them as a parent. So why wouldn't I start off that way. If then I couldn't bf for a better reason than 'I didn't like it' then I would ff content in the knowledge that I did my absolute best to try to bf.

DS1 was a complete limpet & couldn't be put down for the first few months, while DS2 was completely the opposite and was a 'feed me, then put me down' sort of baby who didn't need holding constantly. Both ebf, just different personalities.

I've bf all 5 of mine, for varying lengths of time.
One is as clingy as hell, one would wander off with a total stranger with no second thoughts, and the other 3 are somewhere in the middle.
When dc5 came along, dts were just 2, and dh worked away, only home one night a fortnight. I couldn't have coped ff, all that extra work washing and sterilizing etc, needing 2 hands to feed, and having to wind her! Much easier and cheaper to just latch her on whenever, wherever.

When I had DD 15yrs ago it was all simpler.I breast fed because I am rubbish at getting up in the night and so pulling DD form her cot,feeding as putting back was as complicated as I could manage.
I didn't worry about her being needy or clingy or routines.I fed her when she wanted it as she sorted herself into her own routine.
I was shocked at how long a feed took though.I don't know if I hadn't paused to think itight be difficult or that DD was easy I just recommend that if I could drive a car then we should be able to get the hang of feeding.
She bonded well with her dad as he played with her,carried her in a sling and when I went back to work part time he took a day out and looked after her.
I tried expressing once,that was enough.