My daughter is 11, for a few years she has shown signs of behaviour I found worrying. Intense friendships, moody, repetitive banging, temper trantrums, rudeness, physical violence towards siblings, lying about the most trivial things. This behaviour is displayed if she is having a hard time with friends or sometimes if she doesn’t get her own way. She’s not good at picking good friends and most of her friendships are toxic. If everything is going great, she is lovely. Kind, sympathetic, helpful and really, really good fun. I spoke to primary school and she didn’t show any of those behaviours. She’s now at secondary and the behaviours are showing themselves again, although not as bad and constant as primary school. She has a blatant disregard for some of our rules. She is obsessive about flames and is constantly trying to light things when under stress. I’m scared for her.