I hate my newborn today

[Ihatemyself2019]

Please give me a shake. DC is 2 weeks old and I regret having a baby. I want to go back to being pregnant.

DC is formula fed and is so greedy. Constantly wants to feed and will take a bottle and just hold it in their mouth without drinking it. They cry for half of the day and are unpleasant to be around.

I want to try again and make a nicer baby.

Who on earth gave you pressure for not being on time- due date in the middle of a two week period in which they can arrive
Newborns are tough and you need a support system and tbh op yours sounds the problem

I hope you don't mind me saying this but PND can present itself in many ways other than the classic depression or anxiety. Mine felt like an irrational anger that was focused around the DC due to me feeling deeply out of my depth. The feelings were shocking and very alien to me. Please please seek help with this, antidepressants saved my sanity but I struggled along for months before going to the GP. Your hormones are all over the shop after giving birth and it's really common to feel things you've never felt before but seeking help is crucial to being able to bond. Soon your love will literally overflow for your child but it's hard not to live in this dark moment when you're finding your feet. Lots of love to you, be kind on yourself and your LO

Thanks again everyone.

I am feeling much better today. Spoke to the health visitor and DC has been an absolute angel. We’ve had lots of cuddles today.

The HV was helpful and will be coming back next week.

@Quartz2208 - Mainly my MIL (although her first child was 3 weeks overdue 🙄) my mum and DP.

I had my DS a week ago, I'm breastfeeding and he has a tongue tie so already my nipples are very sore as he is slowly feeding all day long without much of a break between feeds. I also felt like this that he was being greedy and there's no way he needed to feed so much. I spoke to my midwife about it and she told me that when a baby is this young, feeding is the only thing that they instinctively know how to do and it's also the time they feel safest as they are close to you. Hearing that has helped me to not get frustrated and try and just roll with it, speak to your midwife she won't judge you xx

I think this the downside of the idealised vision of new motherhood that is promoted by posters on MN.
Newborns are awful - my first one a nightmare, and I remember carrying him upstairs on his first night home and the realisation hitting me that I had made a dreadful mistake having him. I hadn't of course.
On MN, it's a constant ticker tape of Enjoy Your Baby, Newborn Snuggles and Milky Cuddles, and I think you and others on this post are brave to admit real life often isn't like that.

OP - sending you hugs. I felt the same way at 2 weeks, mainly because feeding was not going as I’d hoped, I was exhausted and recovering from episiotomy. You are a great mum, the fact you asked for help here and also have spoken to your HV shows that. You clearly love your child and I echo other people in saying fed is best.

I am very upset to hear that you are being made to feel bad about being overdue. My baby was fifteen days late. It’s not uncommon. If we could just make a baby appear on demand why do lots of women have to be induced. They are being stupid and mean.

Also upset to hear that your husband is taking the piss out of you. Tell him to stop. Now. Ask him if he would like a watermelon to come out of his nether regions. He needs to f**king grow up. Can you tell i’m upset on your behalf??

Love and hugs. My baby is now 12 weeks and it has got easier I promise xx

Feed the baby every two hours. I did this with my 4 and everyone of them slep through the night!😉

Ps don’t feel bad about the epidural. Best thing ever invented.

Just want to say, you are NOT in any way, shape or form a failure because breastfeeding hasn't worked out. 99.9999% of the time it's due to a lack of adequate practical and emotional support and I suspect this is the case for you.

If bf is something you want to start up again, it is possible, but if you don't want to, you do what you feel is best for you and your family so everyone stays sane

I think DC has reflux as well and that’s why they’ve been especially grouchy I think so I feel like even more of an arsehole now

You aren't an arsehole. Have you made a GP appointment?

The early days are really hard. Most of us (inc me today) would happily hand them back!! It does get easier and you are doing great keeping it all going. I am not just saying that I often count the minutes till sleep time!!!! xx

Maybe also look at different bottles/colic drops. Helped for me.

I can relate to this OP. The feeling went away for a while but I’m now 6 months in and really struggling again. I’d urge you to be honest with your GP or HV and get some help. I talked about it a little but hated the idea of being seen as not coping and so smiled through when really I could have done with some help.
Sorry to hijack OP but @Historydweeb It’s really interesting to see what you say about PND and anger. I’ve been have huge rushes of anger recently that just go from 0-60 in an instant. I’ve really scared myself a few times. I hadn’t realised this could be PND. Think I need to muster the courage to go to the GP

Just wanted to say I felt the same when my DD was a newborn. Those first few months felt like hell on earth. IT WON’T LAST! I promise. I know when you’re in the middle of it, it feels like it will never end but it does. She’s 3 now and the absolute love of my life.

Please take care of yourself and talk to your friends and family. See your GP if you feel you need to. I ended up with PND and it took me a long time to pluck up the courage to ask for help. I really wish I had done it sooner xx