Missing Children

[Scared]

I don't know about anyone else, but the latest story of the two missing girls just terrifies me. I don't want to turn into one of these mothers who won't let their child out of their sight, but think that it is a distinct possibility.

I tend to look at the parents of children who go missing and wonder how they let it happen, but I know that it wasn't their fault really. It's just the unfairness of life that allows a child to wander off when the parent looks away for a second.

I watched a programme on James Bulger, and it broke my heart. I still cry when I see news articles about the killers being released. It scares me for my ds. I know I would never get over it if anything ever happened to him. I don't think that I would want to carry on living if it did.

As a child I went through a stage where I was really obsessed with strangers, because we had a 'funny' man (weird euphamism) outside our school gates offering money to girls. I wouldn't go anywhere on my own, and it reached a stage where my mum despaired about me. I still worry about being out on my own in certain situations.

Anyway, I guess that I am asking how people on this site have ensured the safety of their children, without making them scared of everyone in the town!

It is true that the suspects might now be able to say that any trial would be unfair and therefore escape punishment. However, it probably would be unfair - they haven't been charged, yet all of the press reacts as if they have.

Obviously the police have a fairly strong reason to suspect them, but equally obviously it's not yet strong enough. What if they didn't do it? How can they possibly ever lead normal lives now if they are never charged?

I'll second that Sister. I can't imagine how those poor parents feel. I feel full of vengeance and im not the parents.

going back to dress... dress shouldn't come into it but it can make you feel different and act differently. However as so rightly pointed out it doesn't matter how you dress to someone out to harm someone else - it's what's going on in that persons head & that's what I can never understand no matter what a persons background & in a way especially if it was a bad one as there is so much to influence a person these days but if someone sets out to be bad that's what I really, really cannot understand at all. I just hope they do have the right people otherwise someone out there is, well it hardly bears thinking about, and the people they do have in custody will not be able to return to normal society and if they are innocent then they must be going through hell. If the two people in custody are guilty then as pointed out already slow torture is too good for them but prison is even worse as they then just live the life of kings in comparison. My one wish is for the families to have peace and for the girls to be at peace. It is truly dreadful.

I've literally just read this:

LATEST: Ian Huntley charged with murders of Jessica Chapman and Holly Wells, and sectioned under the Mental Health Act, police say. No decision on Maxine Carr. More details soon ...

I hope to God this doesn't start more press demonising of people with mental health difficulties. People who are ill are rarely violent.

You just don't know what to say really.

Believe me, the coverage so far won't cause a trial to be abandoned. You can print anything that's true, just not opinion about whether they are guilty or not. So if it is true that his wife married his brother, or whatever, that can be published. Just as any paper could publish the same information about any of us. That's what a free press means. We do rather have to take the rough with the smooth on this one. If, however, they were to print a quote from the parents saying 'I'm sure he did it' that would be wrong and dangerous.All papers have teams of lawyers checking everything they write to make sure it doesn't prejudice a trial. They do sometimes make stupid mistakes, but they will be ultra careful in a case like this, where everyone wants to see the right people go to prison.

BTW I feel desperately sad, baffled, horrified & upset about this case, but I strongly oppose the death penalty and hope that even the murder of a member of my family wouldn't change my mind. Not everyone thinks it is appropriate. There are even people whose children have been killed who oppose it.

im sorry i think hes using this as a get out clause.he did not seem too mentally unstable last week appealing for holly and jessica to come home or when interviewed by sky news.
in my personal opinion whether sane or insane when commiting this crime this 'man' and i use the term lightly does not deserve to breathe the same air as other human beings,locking him away whether in amental institution or prison is too good for this man and his accomplice.

Much as I would feel like harming anyone who hurt my own daughter, I am so opposed to the death penalty and feel real sadness when I hear calls for its return when cases like this occur. I am so glad that this issue doesn't go to a public referendum, to be left to the likes of the 'Sun' to influence.

The bottom line is, I suppose that the death penalty will not bring anyone back, but I do identify strongly with people who say they would have no problems 'pressing the button' on someone convicted for the murder of one of their family. Then of course you get into the realms of being 110% certain. But I can still understand the feeling of the need for vengeance, it is the helplessness which frustrates people more than anything. I know it would me. Someone who has committed something so terrible should not be given a 'get out' of a quick, clean(ish) death by lethal injection. I'm more of a medieval nature, I think they should be paraded through the streets once a year, lest we forget. No, it's not ideal and how would people be able to grieve and move on if we didn't send them to jail forever?

I just wouldn't want to live in a country that killed people. I hate killing & I hate killers. I wouldn't be a bit sorry if people like Myra Hindley died, but I am glad we don't kill them. Of course, I don't speak from experience, but I don't think someone else dying would help one bit if my son died. I'd probably want to die myself, but to kill someone else? I don't know, but I truly hope I wouldn't feel like that.

There is no question in my mind that the death penalty is as barbarous as murder. There simply is no difference and I am glad that we don't have it in this country.

karenanne, I understand what you are saying but I think you have to be pretty mentally ill to murder two 10 year old girls.

I heard on the ITN news that Ian Huntley hadn't been asked any questions about the murders yet because the detectives couldn't question someone who dribbled all the time. Was he dribbling when he was shown as a 'goodie' last week?

IMO anyone who does this to children is mentally ill anyway but doesn't deserve to be treated any differently as a result.

He was perfectly lucid on the TV the previous week wasn't he!? Mad world we live in where someone can kill someone else and get away with it because of mental illness. He was well enough to sustain a job and relationship, so I can't help thinking that he is clever enough to realise the 'mental health' aspect.

Enid, you do not "have" to be mentally ill to kill. That is one of the big misconceptions.

We don't know what is wrong with him yet but I will say that it is rare for anyone who does have mental health difficulties to commit crime and it's rare for people who do commit crime to do so because they are ill.

People are more likely to commit crime because they are drunk.

Aloha, they press aren't doing anything legally which could be called subjudicy (sp?) but they are subtling prejucding any trial.

There's an interesting article in
The Independent
re press, intrusion etc.

Chinchilla being put in Rampton Secure Hospital is hardly "getting away with it". If he is found to be ill and that lead to the crime, he will probably never be released from there.

Patients have zero freedom, certainly less than in prison. This isn't the thread to be discussing patient rights but it won't be easy. He'll be on drugs he probably doesn't even need. It has been known.

Though the general feeling will probably "so what?" which I understand though I don't agree with it.

Willow2, that article is spot on. The writer is right about wallowing in it - how come personal tragedies suddenly become a worldwide affair? There is a wider issue of course - crime - but if anything happened to me like this, I wouldn't appreciate people shoving their nose in quite frankly. The press are encouraging it. There is even a website where people can leave messages. It's almost become a cult thing now.

A relative of mine was almost murdered (I won't go into it) and it was bad enough when it took up a paragraph in the local paper. At the same time another person involved sold their story for £20000! I was furious. I hated the man who sold his story more than the perpetrator. He got more from that scrappy newspaper than my relative got for loss of earnings and compensation etc.

Willow2, thanks for that link, I thought it was a very interesting article, and raised so many relevant issues.

Yes Sue. I can't imagine.

They weren't even covered up. No attempt at all according to one report.

As for Mr Huntley being "ok" on TV that means nothing.

Ms Carr has been charged with trying to pervert the course of justice. She tried to cover up for him.

What a mess.

You can't get across the tone of your voice on here very well.

Some of the news coverage has been inappropriate to say the least.

www.holdthefrontpage.co.uk/behind/analysis/020820girls1.shtml

The last sentence there is so shocking! I think I'm going to write a letter of complaint and one to the Guardian. It probably won't do any good but even so. The Guardian on Monday had an article by the editor of Soham's local paper and in it was a picture of him grinning in a telephone box, next to a "Missing" poster.

Being a factual writer of sorts - I have done journalism in the past - I know you have to be detached but this coverage has been downright unacceptable. We've had too much imagery used in a case which needs to only have the facts reporting and then we've got people making money out of it eg relatives and at the other end of the scale we've got people rubbing their hands together because their area is finally on the map!

GRRRRRRRRRR!

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2204983.stm

This is not "easier" than going to prison. It took me a while to find something to back up my earlier point.

I think there's a lot of anger displacement here. The reporters didn't kill the girls. The family hasn't said a word against the press - not a word. The local reporter in the link postively welcomed the attention of the world. I don't think any of us have any right to assume we know what's going on in the minds of the parents of the murdered girls. This was a huge news story. Do you think it is better to live in a country where the random murder of two little girls is hardly noticed? I think Deborah Orr, wife of junkie Will Self - a total self-absorbed tosser if ever there was one- is also hardly in a position to divine what the motives of the police were. If she was trying to support the family of the children, and find their killers I might have more respect for her and her views. As it is, I just think, oh f**k off. Of course she hates the police, that's what she's for. Anyone would think the papers existed totally separately from the people of this country. They don't. They report news people are interested in, and in this case, rightly so IMO. The whole world is interested in this story, and feel for the parents, not a ghoulish way (which is all Deborah Orr and her horrible husband seem to imagine) but in an entirely human, sympathetic way. Our horror is real. Maybe Orr doesn't feel it, but there you go. BTW agree that Ramptom is no easy way out. Ian Brady keeps seriously trying to kill himself to escape, but they won't let him. So obviously it is worse than a death sentence.

BTW as I understand it there were clear lies in their witness statements which indicated something was up. Eg Carr said she was in the bath when the girls went past the house, when she was actually with her family in Grimsby. I suspect there's a lot more to come out. Stuff that will probably make gossipy speculation about brothers and wives look very irrelevant.

aloha, I couldn't care less who she's married to (is that relevant?) but I think Deborah Orr makes some good points. Of course the family hasn?t said a word against the press, they?ve got worse and bigger things on their minds. And yes, the press does report the news that people are interested in but I don?t have to like the way they do it. I agree, we don't need to see photos of the grandmother weeping to know what sorrow and grief look like. They were intrusive, prurient and unnecessary. As for the empty emotive rhetoric Orr describes (?A terrible blight is falling across family life in this country," The Sun declares, as it demands that "such a tragedy must never be allowed to happen again" ) there's certainly been plenty of that, which isn't to say that we don't all, as human beings and parents, feel deeply sad and affected by this. I don?t have any anger displacement, I know who to blame, but it doesn?t mean I have to like the press coverage.