A Good Age Gap.

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Hi everyone. Am thinking of trying for second but am really hung up about getting the age gap right. I would be so grateful of people's input here on 'your experience' of age gaps. For instance it has been my observation that siblings with a smaller gap (2 years or less) get on better and have closer relationships than those with a bigger gap. Personally I always felt it was better to have a big gap as that way no 1 would have more time alone with parents and would then not feel pushed out too soon. But I think that maybe the longer they go without a sibling the more they find it difficult to accept their baby bro or sis particulary if they are going through a 'selfish' phase in their social/emotional development. There are 10 years between me and my sis and we have always been so close and very loving but she was desperate for a baby sister by the time I came along and always played the role of big sis. Unfortunately I do not have the time (bio clock) to wait for my DD to ask for a new baby. I used to think my friends were absolutely potty for going for a 2 year gap. They have all looked so busy and stressed so I avoided that. DD is now 21 months. But I am really worried that the 3 year gap is not a good one, causing much jealousy. What have you found?

My brother is 3.5 years younger than me. I was so excited when he was first born, and we've had a great relationship ever since. I wasn't jealous for a second.

My sister is 1 year older than me, and the relationship is more strained, but still good.

I think it had a lot to do with personality (and possibly gender), which obviously you can't account for.

I agree that you can't possibly factor into your planning the fact that some siblings just don't get along, and some do. I had 2 in just under 2 years, then a whopping 9 year gap, then a 4 year gap. They have different degrees of closeness depending on their personalities rather than the age gap - so just go for it when you feel ready.

I've been really interested to read through all or your different experiences and takes on the age gap thing. Have been reassured by those of you who have a gap of around 3 years. It would seem that this gap needn't present a problem in itself and I'm sure that sibling rivalies must be down to personality clashes and other circumstances rather than the number of years between siblings. Shall just hope for the best then.

Thank you.