Alphamummies - how many do you know personally?

[Anna8888]

For the sake of this thread, I'll define alphamummy with a pretty loose definition.

• works full-time and earns over £100 K
• married with husband working full-time and earning over £100 K
• at least two children who have got as far as secondary school without any hiccups
• no career breaks, divorces

How many women do you know personally (school friend, university friend, colleague, family member, neighbour) who have been doing the alphamummy thing for at least 11 years?

There are several women-in-the-city type organisational variants. Ask those. Don't know how many there are but not that many.

Sequentially is a good idea but that is simply not possible in some roles. It really depends on the type of career you have. Some careers enable career breaks. Some don't. Maybe it is possible to have a career break then move on to something different, start a new business, whatever.

I know a lot of married couples as described but no idea of their income

and couldn't care less either

It's not something to aspire to.

Being able to work part-time, say 3 days, is something to aspire to.

I don't think the children miss out when they are very young but as they start to get older they want to spend more time with you.

And I say that from the perspective of your definition.

I don't think it is a desirable role model for women, frankly, but that is just my opinion, but a lot of the alternatives look to be not especially workable or desirable. Don't we just all muddle through as best we can? Shouldn't we all just respect the choices we've all made.

I know a few senior barristers who have managed this - but as they are self employed they are able to control the amount of work they do and their hours when their children are young. This is something their opposite numbers in solicitors firms can't do.

Aye.

that you have included husband's earnings in the definition!

Quattrocento - yes, there is no issue with the choices people have made in current circumstances.

The issue I am really, really, REALLY interested in is how society as a whole addresses the issue of the two breadwinner norm and how parents are helped to manage the upbringing of children when economics/politics dictate they are both out at work.

Lilymaid - yes, the self-employed route is a good one if you can manage it in "cerebral" professions. That's my case, too. But it doesn't help most women in corporate structures.

None. Though know a few who's hubby's earn well over £100k but the woamn does not work and spends her days going to teh gym and organising dinner parties.

i am interested with the obsession with categorising motherhood by other mothers!
i know no alpha mummies
have no interest in what my friends earn
my DS doesn't care if i am an "alpha" mummy (which i am not)

bossykate - why ? I'm just trying to get as close as possible to a commonly-held media idea of an alphamummy.

I have 2 friends who probably fit that category. Neither couple is in the South East.

One couple, 2 consultant doctors, loads of family money behind them. They have good workplace nursery, plus au pair, housekeeper, cleaner and gardener. She does get stressed and has had time off work for stress. She's very perfectionist and hard working.

Couple 2. Lawyers/professors. They just seem to be very good at it all. They've always used nurseries/holiday clubs. family seems quite happy.

I think you read far too much into it all Anna.

Sounds like the basis for a very boring book.

does anybody know any guilty mummys?

• works but spends too much time on childcare/housework/mumsnet to do it properly
• has children but can't spend enough time with them because works
• alternates between "lets play putting mummy to bed" and manic structured educational play
• shouts at dp cos tired and has spent too long top and tailing gooseberries ffs rather than having a glass of wine
• neglets her friends cos too busy

These categories are not helpful and I know I am going to regret asking this, but I would like to understand what other people are talking about.

Have more or less got what an AlphaMummy is supposed to be.

What is a Yummy Mummy then? Is that a fragrant laydee type who has lots of dosh courtesy of husband and all the time in the world to spend it in?

What is a Slummy Mummy then? Like a Yummy Mummy only minus the dosh?

I'm an alphamummy

apart from the salary