MNHQ here: tell MPs about your experiences during the first 1000 days of your child(ren)’s life

[RowanMumsnet]

Hello

Parliament's House of Commons Health and Social Care Committee are seeking parents’ views on the challenges they faced and the support they received during the first 1000 days of their child’s life. If there's anything you'd like the Committee to know, please post it on this thread by 21 December - more details from the Committee below.

Thanks
MNHQ

"The early years of a child's life from conception, through pregnancy to age two are vital to their physical, mental and emotional health and development. Problems that occur in this period can not only affect a person’s childhood, but the rest of their life: their physical and mental health, their ability to learn, communicate and manage their emotions."

"Parents have a critical role to play. For example, parents who are able to understand their baby’s cues and tune into their baby’s needs support their baby’s brain to develop. All parents need support during this time from their families and friends, but also from local public services (e.g. midwives, GPs, childrens’ centres and health visitors). These services can help to identify problems in a child’s development and provide support for parents and families to help make sure children are given the best start in life."

"We want to know from parents and would-be parents about their experiences during the first 1000 days of their child’s life, particularly the services they use: have they seen the same midwife, GP and health visitor at each appointment or visit? Were services delivered from the same location? How long did the appointments or visits last? Did you get the support you needed? Did you feel confident in speaking to them?"

"The feedback we receive from parents through replies to this forum post will be anonymised and used to inform our report, which will include recommendations for Government on how to improve the support available for families in the first 1000 days."

"Please reply by midday on 21 December if you want your experiences to feed into the report."

"Find out more about the First 1000 days of life inquiry here."

Mine may be a long one! I fell pregnant on the pill so i was not prepared in the slightest and had never really been around babies.
When i was pregnant my notes were lost by the doctors so i didn't have any midwife appointments, being my first i didn't know i should have been having check ups. As a result i also missed the childbirth classes. I had no breast feeding support or even discussed as i had no midwife.
I had a bit of a bumpy pregnancy where i ended up in a and e a few times, upon reflection if i had a midwife she would have been able to advise and check and only one would have needed the hospital. But i didn't and didn't know i should.
I ended up having an emergency c section after labour started at 36 weeks. I am still unsure of the reasons for the c section. I had to send my partner out emergency shopping during labour as the birth midwife noted i had packed my bag all wrong (but i didn't have anyone to advise me) and the baby needed different baby grows to the one i had. When i was on the ward after birth, it was a noisy ward with other mums and babies. There were two mums with twins so it was incredibly noisy at night as one baby would wake all the others (and mums). I ended up discharging myself just so we could get some sleep and to have some help with the baby post section. I had a bit of a fight to be let out and ended up threatening to just walk out after waiting and asking for over 8 hours to go.
I had moved area when pregnant so was living in a new area with no friends or family to help.
I was woken at 8am the first morning by banging on the door with a midwife. She whisked in and was not very friendly. Looked at the baby and went.
My partner is self employed so had no paternity leave. Leaving me struggling at home post section with a baby on my own for nearly 14 hours a day.
She returned a day or so later, grabbed the baby and did the blood test straight away without warning me, it absolutely broke my heart as i had no idea they would do it and I was on my own with this sobbing baby.
My baby was snuffly and i asked for some advise but was just shut down .
She made an appointment to come in a few days but never turned up.
The next day she tried to come round but i was out, so the day after she ripped into me for being out for an appointment i didn't know!
She filled the red book out wrong as a full term baby, not the correct week.
She said a health visitor would come and check after this.
They didn't,
I didn't get any vaccination letters eventually it transpired the doctors just hadn't sent them. So we had to catch them up when i realised we were missing them.
We had no health visitor, we went to no classes, our nearest surestart was a drive away and i didn't feel up to that, we were completely alone with no help or support or anyone even checking up that I wasn't harming my baby - which given the fact we had seen no one and not been weighed once it should have flagged somewhere.

Post section i suffered complications which took 5 years to get a doctor to take me seriously. I suffered pain to such a degree i couldn't look after my child, my home or work. But they weren't interested.

I look back at that time with complete sadness we were just missed by everyone and i just didn't know it shouldn't be like that.

Oh i see someone else has mentioned housing yes yes yes the mental health aspect of privately renting is being hugely ignored. Its not a 'normal' childhood. The instability is a constant anxiety you try not to pass this onto your children but its inevitable, little things like letting them paint or use play dough, your petrified it will get on the walls or carpet. I prepared my child for school, put their name down looked round it. a few weeks later our landlord gave us notice. We ended up having to move areas so a different school, doctors etc. My eldest was due to start junior school, again had done all the set up days and was prepared for it. My Landlord contacted me and wanted 40% more rent a month, my child is sensitive (suspected autistic) theres no way we could suddenly change plans, so we had to find the money and cut back. We were then served 2 months notice the next year, i remember telling my children and they broke down in tears and absolutely sobbed their heart out. It was over the summer holidays so the entire holidays was spent moving, settling etc we had to cancel the caravan holiday we had planned as we couldn't afford it after the cost of moving (we had to find £5000 to be able to fund the move). Our next move will have to be out the area due to house rental prices going up. Having a sensitive child this is going to be really difficult to manage with school and friends and its not something you can prepare for as you never know when that letter will drop through the door.. Its not like their friends childhoods, they can't decorate, put posters up, have pets. Your living constantly at 2 months notice after the first year, its just awful. It feels a first world problem as we have a home. But its utterly miserable.

"We want to know from parents and would-be parents about their experiences during the first 1000 days of their child’s life, particularly the services they use: have they seen the same midwife, GP and health visitor at each appointment or visit? Were services delivered from the same location? How long did the appointments or visits last? Did you get the support you needed? Did you feel confident in speaking to them?"

I saw my community midwife most of the time during pregnancy, there were a couple of times I saw stand-ins if she was off. I had a different midwife postnatally though as she emigrated the week before I had my baby, she didn't tell me she was going to, so that was a shock , but I was super anxious and had MH problems so I'm not surprised she didn't tell me, it would have just been another thing for me to worry about if she had, after all. I saw the same community postnatal midwife for most of the appointments, I think just bar one that was a weekend because she didn't work weekends or something.

I had lots of GP appointments during pregnancy, because I had HG, coccxydnia, mental health problems, weaned off my antidepressants, etc etc - I basically saw a different GP every single time. I was registered at a really big practice so even though I probably had at least one GP appt every month of pregnancy (averaged out...or maybe more actually given I was averaging around 1 a week for a few months when I had HG!), I literally never saw the same GP twice. I had a few GP appts after DD was born, for her, and for me, again all with different GPs. I moved house and then moved both of us to a nearer GP practice, it's a really small practice, we've both been a couple of times and both seen the same GP there, which is good as we're already building a relationship with her. She takes the time to get to know us and listens to me, I don't feel rushed when I have appointments with her and she makes me feel listened to and cared for. I saw a male GP when I was 3 months PP and discussed my anxiety, low mood, struggling with DD crying all the time, birth trauma (with PTSD-type symptoms), weight loss and fatigue, and physical discomfort in my vagina, and he completely dismissed me and just offered me antidepressants and nothing else, which I was clear that I didn't want, and he repeatedly tried to get me to take them . My new GP is young and female and was the complete opposite, she actually listens to what I want to do and how I feel and takes my birth trauma (which she has diagnosed me with PTSD) seriously, has encouraged me to chase up my birth debrief with PALS, prescribed me an anxiety medication that was not an antidepressant, books appts to check up on me just so we can have space to talk things through, and I have booked an appt to have my internal which she is fully supportive of investigating and referring me gynae if necessary etc.

I saw the same HV each time but when I moved GP practice I got assigned a new one, but I see the same one from there too, they've both been great, I have especially a good relationship with my new one. My first one was good but didn't really offer any help for my chronic mental health problems, or subsequent birth trauma, my new one is really good and comes to see me every few weeks if I want it, just to talk and see how I am, and has been really good at signposting me to services (GP, PALS, services at the council for financial support/advice, children's centres for things to do with DD etc).

I feel confident speaking to my HV or my GP, but I didn't feel confident to speak to the other GPs that I saw postpartum at my previous GP surgery. I had a 6 week check there that was a tick-box exercise with a male GP who didn't suggest a birth debrief even though I tried to talk to him about my birth trauma and mental health problems, he just screened for PND and that's it, he didn't offer to check my stitches or do an internal even though I told him about my ongoing pain etc. It was like he just wanted to tick the boxes and get me out again, same with how he checked DD tbh (it was actually an 8-week check, combined with DD's 8-week appt and vaccinations - that was the only good thing, that we only had to go in once and have them all sorted).

Yes I went to a BF workshop in the hospital and they repeatedly said the 'if it hurts, you're doing it wrong, it can be fixed' thing, which was not true for me at all - I had severe pain BF til I eventually packed it in at 12 weeks, I had lots of support from the BF peer supporters in this area and the infant feeding midwife, and DD was checked for TT at the clinic (she didn't have one), nobody could figure out what was wrong or fix the latch. I was so upset and I also wasn't prepared for days of endless cluster feeding, being unable to move from the sofa all day etc, none of the difficulties were discussed in the workshop, I think that's wrong as I would have prepared to know better what the reality of BF was - it would not have put me off, as I knew it was best for baby, so I would have tried to do it anyway - but it would have made me less anxious and depressed, and it would have made me more confident that I was doing it right, that I had enough milk etc.

I always went to the same location for my midwife appointments, however I saw lots of different midwives and it was only when I was monitored in the last month with high BP that I saw the same one for a couple of appointments in a row.

My major issue was with the HV team staffing.
After I was transferred to them I saw one HV at home, with a student, who was very quickly in and out.
When asked if we had any family around and I said no and I didn't drive, I was told well you will need to go to groups. But no advice as to what there is is the area.

This was also the only appointment I had with HV at home. I was told to just got and see them at the children's centre if I had any questions, there was inches of snow outside.

Even when I was diagnosed with PND and the dr contacted the team to come and see me, it was only when the dr chased it up a month later they text me to see if I wanted a home visit.

I know this isn't the individuals faults and a wider issue of staffing but my experience was very different to mums I've met less than 10mins away with a different health care team. This support should really be consistent

I had a high risk pregnancy.
At first all seemed well, we did a pregnancy test and we were surprised at the results. But we learned that one of our kids had a relatively common birth defect of the spine and clubbed feet. This was at my 20 week scan two and a half years ago. I remember the day clearly still. For a whole week I was oscillating.
Once I had delivered the twins one boy one girl I decided to see a therapist friend. It helped. However I feel like they don’t always want to hear your opinion. My experience with the NHS was mixed. I’ve dealt with missed appointments and therapy sessions as well. Definitely think the system needs improvement.

I have one DD, nearly 18 months.
During pregnancy I saw a different midwife pretty much every time I had an appointment. My nearest community midwife clinic was not linked with my chosen hospital (I’m pretty much equidistant between two hospitals) so had trouble telling which scans I’d had, when appointments were coming up etc.
Why are midwives on the postnatal ward not given more breastfeeding training! No mention of how to latch, it was just a case of shoving boob in baby’s mouth! (But apart from that they were absolutely lovely). I did have a lot of pain when feeding and sought out help but I had to travel to a different baby clinic to see a qualified lactation consultant who is expected to cover a huge area. LLL were good too but I’m lucky I live on the bus route to their venue or would have been tricky.
Had same HV up until 8 weeks PP, then different every time at clinic. ‘My’ HV didn’t do DD’s 9 month check, no idea if I’ll ever see her again!
Baby clinic is completely inaccessible once you’ve gone back to work unless you take leave. HVs seem pretty sensible and consistent in their advice. Have read on here and FB groups that other people have been given some shocking “advice”. No national standards?

my pregnancy and post pregnancy experience would have been a lot better and less painful if I had been diagnosed in my late teens when I first presented with the condition I have been diagnosed with now. EDS can have a lot of different effects on pregnancy. It may have meant an earlier diagnosis for the children, (one has hypermobility syndrome) we could have had genentic counselling before trying for a baby, (50% chance of passing it one, and girls more likely to be effected by the symptoms)

we would also have benefitted from an earlier diagnosis of autism in ds, signs were there when he started methodically waving coat hangers before the age of two .

it takes so long to diagnose children with long waiting lists, still waiting 25 months on for dd's appointment.

I fell pregnant in July 2016. During my pregnancy I had obstetric cholestasis and got very little sleep due to constant itching, that with 12 hour shifts at work (residential home health care assistant) and weekly trips to the hospital for blood tests/baby monitoring/growth scans meant I was constantly exhausted. My land lady also gave me notice as she didn't want children in the flat so I had to find somewhere else to live, ended up having to move to my mums as soon as I came out of hospital as she rang 2 days after my baby was born (we were in hospital for a week) to say I had to leave immediately and I still didn't have anywhere to go.
I had a long labour (30hrs) ending in a c-section and I went into anaphylaxis as soon as he was born as I was allergic to one of the drugs I was given. We both had to stay in hospital as we both had infections due the long time between my waters breaking and him being born.
I stayed at my mums for 6 weeks before mine big into the flat we are in now.
I love being a mum but have found it lonely at times and baby groups that we started to go to with the children's centre have stopped due to lack of funding, as I'm a single mum i am entitled to free vitamins for my child, but am unable to get these due to our children's centre groups stopping and me not being able to drive, the nearest place I could get them would be children's centres in other towns which would me 1hr bus trip there and back.
Fortunately other friends have since had babies for the first time so I have Mum friends around now, but when all my friends were either Childless or had much older children when I had my baby I often felt I was on my own

Had my dc in 2014 & 2016. I had a health issue in pregnancy and have to say my antenatal care and delivery were great in all respects.

Stresses after they were born?

• no one checked properly for tongue tie with dc1. It caused lots of problems breastfeeding and wasnt picked up. Like a pp said, pushing the message that breast is best whilst failing to give much support is crushing.

• i hated going back to work at 1 year. Given all the research around baby development/ separation anxiety i think mat leave should be longer if wished, even if it's unpaid. I would have sacrificed pay to have another 6 months at home, and not had to leave dc1 crying in a nursery.

Pregnancy - My midwives were amazing. I didn't see the same one every appointment (for any pregnancy) but they were all part of the same team. Although they were under huge pressure with their workloads they remained friendly, professional and offered amazing patient care both in the sad times of miscarriages and the better times of pregnancy through to labour.

Health visitors - I think their training needs to be updated (when I said my first dc was still breastfed at 1 year check and refused to drink cows milk I was told to wean them off the breast and give them chocolate nesquick instead!!!! I never bothered to see any other one again.

Struggles after pregnancy - after my first child I used the children's centre several times a week. They had fantastic kind knowledgeable staff, offered lots of play groups (to help meet other parents), amazing various parenting/baby related courses that definitely helped me bond with my child and adjust to the new world of parenthood. However with my second I certainly noticed the negative impact government funding cuts have had on these amazing places. It is tragic that something that offered so much support to new parents is suffering due to austerity measures.

After my second child the cost of childcare + commuting to work amounted to 125% of my (mid of band 5 NHS) salary. I therefore left the workforce and became a stay at home parent as continuing my job would have had a negative impact on our household income. Dh is a top rate taxpayer and so we don't qualify for any tax credits.

I wish the government would change the way childcare is expected to be paid for - if all childcare could be paid for out of pre tax income we could have afforded a nanny (the only child care option when your husband frequently travels for work and you work 12 hour+ shifts plus commuting time and you have no family nearby. ). I would have continued to work (and pay tax, help patients, pay into my pension, earnt money which would then be spent in shops) plus we would have employed someone (who would then have a job, pay tax, etc)

Most of the first 6 months were utterly horrendous due to undiagnosed cow's milk protein allergy. I was told by several GPs that 'all babies cry' - DD didn't sleep more than 40min before waking up screaming in agony. Night and day. I went to the GP every single week and was constantly fobbed off and made out to be a neurotic first time mum. It was truly awful. Once she finally was diagnosed - mainly because my own mother suggested it - it improved massively.
We still only have one child and I don't know I ever want a second as I never want to experience it again. I felt completely let down by the NHS.

My boys are 11m and 23m

I saw the same midwife throughout both of my pregnancies which was absolutely fantastic. Although I had undiagnosed HG during my first pregnancy. Who knew? I just said to the midwife "yes, I've been a bit sick" I also had extra appointments during my second pregnancy as my mental health was a bit vulnerable at the time and my MW wanted to keep a closer eye on me. I really do felt that she cared about my pregnancy and also me as a person.

Both boys were born at home and my care couldn't be faulted for both births.

DS1 was ill from birth with an infection and I feel we were released too early from hospital (as soon as he finished his antibiotics) as we were readmitted less than 48 hours later for a further 4 weeks. Again though, his care was fantastic and I couldn't fault it.

Exactly the same as @ISeeTheLight , DS1 had CMPA which was undiagnosed for ages. He could scream for upwards of 8 hours at a time. It was just hideous. GP's used to tell me that babies do cry until he was approximately five months and I took in recording after recording after recording of DS1 screaming in agony or just whimpering. They finally listened but I had to beg for a trial of dairy free milk. They gave me two weeks worth. He still has minor health issues now but we do our own thing we've excluded certain things from his diet because we feel largely unsupported and un-listened to by GPs.

HV's are largely in support of the worries we have but I've had four different assigned health visitors in the less than two years that I've had my son. The lack of consistency is really tough.

@ISeeTheLight I just wanted to say to you that your second may not necessarily be the same. I haven't had a single jot of sustained screaming from DS2 apart from the past month or so with teething and calpol stops it within five minutes . You aren't guaranteed to have the same experiences

I forgot to say. My local community library is amazing for children's activities and services.
Also, it's a massive struggle with local baby clinics closing to be able to get to a weigh in or speak to a HV. We have very few left now and they always used to be busy so I can imagine the clinics are absolutely heaving now!

On the whole my experiences were totally lovely both times but I would say PLEASE don't cut the free breastfeeding advice/help that I was able to take advantage of at our local Children's Centre. It really made a difference and the lady I saw was wonderful. Also, when I was induced the first time they gave me way more oxytocin than I really needed, and that could have been managed better. It was a minor point, really.

I found that there was very little support out there.

During pregnancy I don't think I ever saw the same midwife twice. Appointments were either at my GP's surgery or at the hospital and I saw whichever one of the team happened to be on shift that day. They were nice people but I didn't see them enough to even remember their names, let alone build up any kind of a relationship.

The postnatal care at the hospital was minimal. I had an emergency c-section but no allowances were made for this. I was still expected to be able to lift and carry my baby with no help whatsoever. If I'd had abdominal surgery on any other ward in the hospital, I'm sure that I would have been strongly advised not to do any lifting and carrying for some time afterwards. Yet new mothers are left to get on with it and berated by staff when they struggle.

Breastfeeding support was non-existent. The staff didn't seem to have a clue. I was relieved to be discharged after 48hrs.

The baby clinics were held at a local children's centre where many of the services had been cut to a bare minimum. The person who did the weighing insisted that I had to bring my baby every single week, and told me that I should top up with formula because my baby wasn't gaining enough weight.

When I had my 6-week postnatal check (I was sent to my nearest health centre rather than my own GP surgery so knew no one there) the nurse was horrified at the advice that I'd been given. It was too late though as the formula top-ups had already started to affect my milk supply.

The children's centre workers (not the baby-weighing team) were great at pointing me in the direction of groups and services. The cutbacks meant that they themselves couldn't offer the baby and toddler groups that they used to, so it was a case of traveling to different areas to find anywhere.

It was fortunate for me that I already had older children and so didn't need a great deal of practical help. The difference in services available between their births and that of my youngest child was a real eye-opener. Many of the local baby & toddler sessions had disappeared and it was much harder to find other parents with a child of the same age.

I was massively let down by services. I told a health visitor at weigh in clinic that I was really struggling and she took my details and said she'd phone but didn't. I still don't know who my named health visitor is. My child's check ups have been cancelled and not rescheduled.

When my son was born despite me telling the hospital in advance that I got very anxious about hospital stays due to past experiences and they assured me that they'd try to help accommodate me nothing was said or done during my stay. My child's referral for tongue tie didn't happen so I had to go private. I'm still upset when I think about my hospital stay.

All in all I feel utterly let down and I'm really not surprised that I ended up with PND.

My DC are 20 and 23 but I think my experience still merits a mention because it is probably still happening. Not mentioning here the miscarriages and number of times GP's/midwives said "is it planned" "did you want it".

DS1: From going to GP at 6 weeks pg to 6 weeks after his birth I saw 37 hcps. Many if whom gave contradictory advice. My advice:

1. Midwives need to be polite and respectful of other humans and not laugh at women, raise their voices or be vulgar. One who visited me at home wanted to discuss my sex life and pelvic floor exercises. I said not now so she rested her elbow in ber hand and waved the other arm and hand about saying "if you don't do dem now dis is what your man is going to say da sex feels like". Vile.

1. Consistent advice about breast feeding and pain tolerance.

1. Competence in relation to symptoms and advice during pg, labour and afterwards. This was shocking: failure to irder right blood tests for thyroid in pg, failure to realise baby was posterior and to realise there was a problem with baby's heartbeat, failure to recognise symptoms of mastitis which ended up causing much distress..

1. HV inexperienced and didn't have sufficient courtesy to make an apt before she came. I got a letter saying she'd arrive at 9am at 8.55am. She then turned up at 9.20am. She should have telephoned and she should have arrived on time (how can the first apt run late?).

1. HV unable to explain purpose of her role and instructed me to queue up at a baby clinic. My view was if I had to go she should make an apppintment for me to go.

1. HV did not have the knowledge to answer any question about things she told me it was her role to make sure happened, ie, immunizations and breast feeding. But could tell me I had to do both. When I asked for help with BF told me she wasn't an expert and to phone up NCT.

1. Mothers need far greater clarity about the role of the HV, the HV's obligations and the fact that it is not a compulsory service. It is compulsory to offer it; but it does not have to be received. In my view unless it is clinically and pastorally excellent it is a complete waste of time and if I had concefns about my babies they needednto be addressed by properly qualified doctors/paediatricians rather than relatively inexpert nurses who preferred paperwork 9-5 rather than getting their hands dirty by actually nursing. All advice must be up tondate and evidencd based and they should be able to direct parents to the evidence that informs their advice.

Due to poor care and conflicting advice about breastfeeding I developed pnd. Directly due to incompetence of midwives and HVs.

2nd Baby: Insisted on consultant led care and agreed to a vaginal delivery on the basis that I wod be attended only by a very experienced and senior midwife. Pg care and birth went without a hitch. Oddly all blood test results were properly ordered and requests not ignored when a consultant was involved. I also refused to let them write that I would b/feed on any notes because I was not going to be dictated to a second time.

Post natally at home I refused to see more than two community midwives (unlike the 8 previously).

I wrote to the director of the community health trust to confirm I did not want any contact with HV service.

I made sure I had all the info I needed second time around and made sure I was in control of who and how many people got involved with a deeply important life event which is also hugely personal and intimate. I don't usually talk about my private parts and when I do I expect my privacy and dignityto be respected.

2nd time round was wonderful because I was much better informed and was very assertive about the sort of care I wanted but the bottom line is that every woman should have care that:

Is competent
Is respectful
Maintains dignity
Maintains privacy
Is kind
Is professional
Is caring
Is well informed

If men gave birth this debate would have been over long ago.

So far, what stands out is the huge cost of cuts to health and social services for me. Labour was horrendously stressful mainly because there was no room for me and not enough staff to diagnose what was going on in time and to dispense pain relief. The staff that were there were doing their best and I can't fault them but they were massively overstretched. The fact that I was sent home a couple of hours after the birth was dreadful for me. I was considererd to not have had any issues and was discharged but I was exhausted, still in shock with no support. This all caused me to have an awful start to maternity and abandon breastfeeding very quickly. Also, I felt there was an anti epidural /pain relief agenda being pushed with I now find to be frankly criminal. The few places to go for invaluable support such as my local children's centre are being threatened. I'm relatively privileged in that I have my husband and my family helping me out, we both work and have a roof over our heads. But the lack of money going in hospitals and then childcare is absolutely shocking. I'm binational. I have friends who've had babies in my home - European - country and in the UK. In the vast majority of cases, the latter have had a much worse experience and most women here have had to give up work to look after their children and are often in financially vulnerable situations. Every single one of my European friends has been able to get back to work and generally tends to feel more secure and happy.

I had DS in 2012. Sadly, every service I used back then has either been cut entirely, or been severely cut back due to government policies about running down the NHS to reduce resistance to privatisation.

There used to be a SureStart centre within walking distance from my house which ran regular baby groups plus parenting classes and other courses. The staff there were extremely knowledgeable about child development and very welcoming and supportive.

It's shut now.

The library on the way to my son's school also had baby groups etc.

That's shut now.

I developed SPD during pregnancy and was promptly referred for physiotherapy to help me to manage. The health trust has had funding slashed, been screwed over by Brexit, so I'm guessing that referral now would take significantly longer.

And...so on and so forth. Basically - why ask parents what they need, when the intention is just to keep closing stuff that's proven to work?

I don't think it's about resources. It's about standards. Mine were born 1994 and 1998. It was all about competence and attitude. Midwives didn't seem at all busy back then but they spent as much time whining about the Tories as they did working and had shocking standards of capability and disgraceful attitudes.

It's not all about money.

I don't want to go into medical specifics because I want to stay fairly anonymous but my pregnancy was a nightmare and NHS maternal care in England is absolutely appalling. After a series of poorly managed incidents I was left to go through twelve hours of labour up to the point of being fully dilated in filthy conditions with no privacy, not even a room, and no access to pain relief because the maternity ward were short staffed. After a very traumatic birth I was discharged within a few hours of giving birth and ended up readmitted with serious life threatening complications.

NHS ante natal care is dangerously under funded and unsafe. The conditions women are left in are medieval and it's luck of the draw whether you'll even get something as basic as privacy and pain relief.

As far as post natal support goes, it doesn't exist. A cursory visit from a health care worker and a two minute consultation with a disinterested GP whose only concern was to check that my baby had four limbs and to ask whether I was on contraceptives.

Additionally, childcare in this country is absolutely prohibitive and there is no reason for it because it's not particularly good quality. Other countries seem to manage to actually provide affordable and good quality childcare without it swallowing up a person's entire pay packet.

We've recently decided to leave the UK and are looking at ways out. One of the main reasons for this is that we would like a second child and maternal health care in this country is so poor that I feel it would be dangerous to risk it here and I don't think I could put myself through such a dehumanising experience again.

Oh and I think it also warrants a mention that when I phoned 111 and said I suspected I had mastitis the call handler asked me what that is and could I please spell it

We had a huge issue when we temporarily moved to a different (neighbouring) postcode. I appreciate that Health Visitors and GPS have to draw a line somewhere, but we sold our house and temporarily moved in to my mum’s house a few miles away whilst waiting to complete on our next house when our children were 1 and 3. Unfortunately, this meant having to start again with things like Health Visitors, Speech & Language referral and GP registering because we were honest. I wish we had just not mentioned our move because when we moved back after 6 months, we were back of the queue again in our original area.

Do they still give pg women Emma's Diary? Get rid of it; that, more than anything else, was what made me feel completely inadequate but as it was the only thing officially given, it carried far more weight than anything else.