Reaching the end of my tether with ds and am reluctantly asking for advice

[Rhubarb]

He's 3.5. Potty training started when he was 2.8 but he didn't get the hang of it, so after 2 weeks of cold turkey with no signs of improvement we gave up. Then about 3 months ago we tried again. After a couple of weeks the accidents got less and he finally started peeing on the potty!

Now he is wee trained but the problem is the poo.

He doesn't tell us when he needs a poo, neither does he tell us when he's done one in his pants. His poos are very soft so by the time we realise what he's done, it's soaked through his clothes and anything he has sat on.

At nursery they don't have good drains so when he has an accident, they just put his undies in a nappy bag and by the time I get to them, they are beyond saving and need to be thrown away. Last week I threw away 6 pairs of undies within 4 days.

We've tried the nice "never mind!" approach, but this hasn't worked. He obviously knows he has done one in his pants but he never even pauses in his play.

Any advice? I'm fed up of rinsing poo!

That's interesting!

He does like his bread but we tend to have white. He doesn't get much other protein as he is going through a phase of not eating his meat.

I am trying to get him to drink more water and the only fruit he has are things like bananas, apples and pears.

I've just got dh to agree, albeit rather reluctantly, to the SneakyPoo story. I'll tell nursery about that one too, see if I can get them on board.

Sympathy your way. I am just contemplating having another go at training my DS, who also poos a lot and it's not always solid - and he doesn't go at the same time every day either...

We're going to try the Sneaky Poo story too although ours is modified somewhat as he won't drink hot drinks and he will not sit on request (never a problem with wees as he gets himself there when he's ready to go now). Rather than make it a battle, we're just going with the story and hope that ONE day he works it all out. Preferably before he gets to school .

I dont know if its been mentioned already but you could try him with the toilet rather than the potty.
So make a big fuss about using the toilet like a big boy etc etc.

Dont know how practical that would be for you but it could just ignite his excitement for the training again.
Also maybe start giving him a treat if you start doing it. Be it a sticker or sweet.

WHY don't they warn you about how older siblings completely ruin these sorts of stories

Ds1 is now talking about Sneaky everything. Apparently both of them are now watching Sneaky Wall.... . Think that the message has been diluted somewhat...

Rhubarb: Sorry, just realised ... to clarify, we cut back on the brown bread by making only white now. He still eats as much bread as he ever did, but at least it seems to gum him up a little more

dh has asked if he can change the name from Sneaky Poo to Mr Hanky. I said no.

So he said that perhaps reverse psychology would help, for example, when we want him to eat something we'll say "oooooh, don't eat that! Whatever you do, don't eat that!" So he then picks it up and eats it thinking he's being cheeky. dh reckons if we said "go on ds, crap your pants, but whatever you do, don't go on the toilet!" That ds will then go on the toilet.

How to screw up your kids' heads Part 1.

LOL Rhubarb.

So you have a subversive dh and I have a subversive ds1 ... what's the chances of our children actually being potty trained before they get to university?!!

They sure don't mention this bit in the manual...

Another bad one today, another pair of pants in the bin.

HV came and suggested I keep a food diary for 2 weeks, which I am doing. Have told ds the Stinky Poo story and have agreed with dh and dd that when he has an accident we say nothing, we just clean up. We don't even talk about his poos in front of him unless it's positive.

So, we'll see what happens.

Are you getting ds involved in the cleaning up Rhubarb? At 3.5 he can do a little something to help - even if its just to put the wipes/towel back from cleaning him. It gets the message over that pooing in pants will end up being boring without you having to scold him. Hope its going well

Just had to say thanks for the sneaky poo suggestion. Started it here, and had more success with that than the chart we were using. Fingers crossed......