Would you leave your 11 month old for a holiday?

[reluctantlondoner]

Trying to gauge opinions. Would you leave an 11 month old for a holiday? I would be leaving them with grandparents who they see pretty regularly (1-2 per month for 1-3 days at a time due to distance). Baby is tiny now so hard for me to imagine leaving them ever. Grandparents have offered to allow us to have a break together before I go back to work and because we'd be going to a wedding whilst away which might be difficult with an 11 month old. We are going reasonably far away, to a different continent (8-10 hour journey), so could not get back very quickly if needed. Also, if you would leave them, how long for? For context, I am not sure about this at all but DH is keen. Thanks in advance.

I wouldn’t but I know many people would. Don’t be pressured in to doing this if you don’t want. You can always take the baby to a wedding.

No way.
Especially not if leaving the country.

I’d struggle to leave my 3 year old tbh. It’s your precious baby!

I imagine I am in the minority but I vote go.

I wouldn't.

Definitely not, for me.

We did a few days abroad at 6 months. It was great. We needed the break. At 11 months we did a week on honeymoon. It was way too long and ruined things. Four days max I think we decided.

I couldn't but that's my own issue.

Baby would obviously be fine and dandy. So I would never judge someone who did do this and was able to do so. I'd feel a bit jealous actually!!

I probably wouldn’t when dd was 11 months tbh. But now at almost 2 absolutely! In fact I’m off for a long weekend at the end of the month and I cannot wait.

See how you feel, no one can tell you if you’ll be in the right place to leave or not. Maybe a long weekend first? And stay in the UK just in case you need to get back?

My DD is 8 months old and I don’t think I could bring myself to go away for more than a night, and I can’t see that changing when she’s 11 months. In theory, frankly, I’d love a week to be myself and sleep and enjoy a holiday, but in practice I know I wouldn’t be happy leaving her for that long or being so far away. I haven’t left her for more than a couple of hours though, and she’s breastfed and doesn’t have bottles, so I’ve not made it easy to go away even if I wanted to. I think I’d feel differently if I bottle or mix fed and DDs grandparents were more on the scene and part of her daily life. The distance would still worry me though.

I have- DD3 when she was 9 months old, for 12 nights. It was my best friends wedding in Australia and there was no chance I was missing it and there was no chance I was travelling that far and dealing with a baby with jet lag.

I of course missed her terribly- but she barely noticed I was gone.

Don’t do it unless you are 100% sure OP- if you and DH want a break book a hotel in a local town, have a nice meal out, maybe a spa treatment and relax.

I would for a long- weekend yes

If it helps OP- I never would of done with my first (not that I had the opportunity) but when you get to your fourth your need for a break and normal human contact outside your husband becomes a lot, lot stronger

I don't think leaving an 11 months old baby is a good idea. At that age, she will probably need her mother 24/7.

As I sit here with my 11 month old... no. He’s suddenly going through a very clingy, separation anxiety stage - which I think ia very common at 11 months. (Also still BFing so would mean probably stopping altogether unless taking away pulling equipment etc.)

No I wouldn't.

I don't think leaving an 11 months old baby is a good idea. At that age, she will probably need her mother 24/7.

24/7 really? Some mothers are back at work by this age

OP it's really an individual thing. I left DD's at 2yo & 6mo to go on honeymoon for a fortnight - they were with my parents who they saw daily since birth for the majority of that time & with ex-H parents, again who they saw at least 4x a week, for a few days - & this was in the olden days before mobiles & FaceTime

I wouldn't no

I wouldn't. I wouldn't leave my 8 year old to go somewhere 8-10 hours away unless I left him with his dad and even then I'd worry that I couldn't get back in time if something happened.

I would. I probably wouldn't have with my first just because I would have felt too guilty. But I have 3 dc now and would happily leave them with gp and have a few days/week abroad without any guilt at all

Yep, I went to New York for 4 days with DH leaving DD who was about that age with her very competent and doting grandparents. Was totally fine and my MH really benefited from the break.

I would!

Go! Don't feel guilty, its sounds like they're in safe hands and will probably be spoilt rotten. I always think it's really bad for mum and baby to spend every minute of a year together for mum to then go back to work without any preparation. It's stressful for both. DD is 3 months today and will spending a couple of hours with the PILs. Next months she has her first overnight with DM. For me this is about planning to return to work as a phased approach but I wouldn't rule out leaving her for a short period for leisure. I probably wouldn't go for more than 2-3 nights at that age though but it's all personal choice.

It's so hard to know how you'll feel. Some people will be fine and some won't be able to relax being that far away from their baby. I think most would find it difficult at that age but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

Sorry that was a really wishy washy answer.

If you trust the grandparents I don’t see why not!

I actually remember that Kate Middleton/Prince William left 8-month-old George behind with her grandparents and they got a bollocking from some quarters. Very judgey

Honestly? I wouldn't. But tbh I don't really get the culture of going away on holidays without your dc. I'll go on the odd weekend with friends (less often than once a year) while dh looks after dc, but holidays, once you're a parent, are family things for me. Seems a bit of a pity to spend annual leave and holiday budget (which for most people is not unlimited) on a non-family trip.