Would you leave your 11 month old for a holiday?

[reluctantlondoner]

Trying to gauge opinions. Would you leave an 11 month old for a holiday? I would be leaving them with grandparents who they see pretty regularly (1-2 per month for 1-3 days at a time due to distance). Baby is tiny now so hard for me to imagine leaving them ever. Grandparents have offered to allow us to have a break together before I go back to work and because we'd be going to a wedding whilst away which might be difficult with an 11 month old. We are going reasonably far away, to a different continent (8-10 hour journey), so could not get back very quickly if needed. Also, if you would leave them, how long for? For context, I am not sure about this at all but DH is keen. Thanks in advance.

I left ds when he was 11 months old with his dad ( who was at work during the day so his mum minded ds until he got home ) for 4 nights.
He was very odd with me when I got back!

I wouldn't leave for longer than a week at any age though, mine are 7 and 15 now and I went away last year for 5 days and felt a bit guilty. 11 month old won't really know ot remember.

I wish I'd had the opportunity to leave any of my 3 DC and go on a holiday without them!
I've looked after various DGC from when they were babies while their respective parents had a baby-free holiday. I loved that time with them and it hasn't affected anyone's relationships.

I did. A long weekend in another country. Everyone had a lovely time.

I would have done. I never had the opportunity but I know I wouldn't have had a problem. I did leave them overnight from 6 weeks though and those 12 hours were glorious.

I just wouldn't want to at that age.

Yes I would have, never had the opportunity though. You will be judged though, probably by other mothers, I went out for an evening (a village hall supper - not a night club ) when my DS was 8 days old, my DM was with him & we were five minutes walk away. Another mother actually said to me;
‘How could you leave your baby?’

Zoflora I think it’s sad that you feel ‘guilty’ at leaving your 7 & 15 year old. My DS is 17 now & I have holidayed without him on a number of occasions, he has a great time with his Dad whilst I am away or with grandparents if DH & I go away together. DH & DS also have their own skiing holidays without me. I think it is important for children to grow up knowing that their parents have their own lives and interests as well as being part of a family.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Really helpful. Such a range of opinions!

I think ultimately I just don't feel comfortable with it and certainly don't feel comfortable being forced into the decision now. Especially as I'm breastfeeding (no bottles so far).

The thing with this is its ok to go and its ok not to want to go. Its a very subjective decision.

From your responses you dont want to do it and that is ok you dont have to - its not mandatory

For me the distance is key - a weekend break away in this country is very different to a week away on another continent

No, not for me, I’d want to take baby !!

I would happily, but my kids have an incredibly close bond with their Grandparents and are always staying at their house or having tea with them.

Thanks it's really helpful for me to hear how others felt / feel at that stage as I'm a first time mum so it's difficult to know how I'll feel when my LO is that age as they're tiny now!

I absolutely would. Go for it and enjoy.

Ragwort I know it's silly! Ds went abroad with his dad this summer for a week and was fine ( me and his dad are separated ) but when I left them to go away last year he was out of sorts and his routine was affected ( he has Aspergers ) but the younger one, dd didn't miss me one bit

I am guilty of being guilty all the time though which is something I'm working on.
Ds didn't feel guilty going to Cyprus this year when I only went to Haven....

My friends consider me to be pretty relaxed about leaving DD but I wouldn't want to be an 8-10 hour journey (plus however long you have to wait for the next flight) from her.

She's 18m now and if I was given the opportunity to go to Western Europe for 4-5 days I would but that's probably my limit for now.

At 11 months your child will still seem tiny to you. They will still curl onto your chest. Still want milk before they sleep. I absolutely couldn't leave a child this young. Mine are 4, 3 and 8 months and I can't imagine being away from any of them yet.
I did go away with work though, twice. Once when dc1 was 18months for 4 days. He struggled. Once when dc2 was just 2. Everyone was fine that time. But both times they were with their dad as normal.

At 11 months your child will still seem tiny to you. They will still curl onto your chest. Still want milk before they sleep. I absolutely couldn't leave a child this young.

It really depends on your situation. As I went back to work at 5 months (I live in a country with rubbish maternity leave), my babies were used to their nanny and to taking bottles of expressed milk. Maybe that's why it's been easier for me to travel. I was away from DC1 at 11 months and DC2 at 10 months for work trips, and they were fine but I was an emotional wreck!

However DH and I realize our marriage needs refresh badly so with grandparents and nanny's support we will go on a 4 day weekend. Of course I love my children but if my marriage falls apart that's not good for them either.

I left ds with his grandparents when he was 4 months old. Went to Asia for a week when on maternity leave and DH went on business. It was amazing.
DM is a retired midwife, though, and although she was exhausted by the time we came home, she had her first grandchild all to herself for a whole week.

Also left him for a week when he was 2. With DH.

That's it so far and he's 12.

If you trust who you are leaving your child with, i would definitely do it.

Think the max distance I'd go would be 5 to 6 hours for a holiday leaving 11 month at home but then again it depends how long your away for. When our wee one was 5 months, we nipped off to Poland for 3 days leaving her with grandparents (she didnt even notice as she was cuddled to death). If it was 8-10 hours but only really getting 2 or 3 full days then I might consider it if it was an important friends wedding. Alternatively could you see if the hotel does childcare services you could put baby in on day of the wedding?

A short break in this country would, in my opinion, be better than a holiday abroad.

I left my first at 9mths for an overnight. We were 2hrs by car away so could get back if needed.
I left my second at 6mths for an overnight and it was too soon. He didn't cry but wouldn't eat.

Personally I wouldn't want to be more than a car journey away from a baby. Others might be ok with it but not for me.

DD takes a bottle and I'm fine pumping so I would. In fact I'm going to next weekend. Rather looking forward to sleeping in.

Assuming the baby had already overnighted with the GPs at least once, a couple of nights away in this country would be okay. A week away on another continent not so much.
Encourage your DH to be more involved with your baby. It sounds as if he's not fully bonded.

Baby will be fine. I had my granddaughter aged 9 months for 2 days for a wedding trip, and it was only the second time I had seen her due to them living overseas. I also had granddaughter 14 months and her brother aged 4 whilst their parents had a 5 day ten year wedding anniversary holiday. Again, they live overseas so only see me twice a year and once a week on FaceTime.