Dealing with toddler being aggressive with baby

[Belleende]

Our 10 m.o has recently become more mobile and as a result, our 3 year old has become more aggressive with her. She is pushing,hitting or grabbing things off her several times a day.

I don't think we are handling it well. The other night I had them both in the bath, and out of the blue toddler hit baby on the head with a hair brush, hard enough to leave a mark. I shouted, really quite loudly. Not my finest hour.

Nothing we say or do seems to be getting through to her. She has responded to us teaching her about how to interact better
her friends (kind hands, not grabbing etc). But when it comes to her sister nothing seems to land. Any tips or books you would recommend?

We are going through this right now too (although my youngest is only 4 months). What has helped is upping my 1-1 time with the eldest and also making a big fuss when they do play nicely and when the older DS is kind to his brother. Also verbally 'mirroring' what I think he might be feeling 'you're cross because you wanted the toy' etc

The following link was helpful.
www.janetlansbury.com/2014/09/surviving-sibling-struggles/

Like you I started by just telling the eldest off but it didn't help at all!

Thanks for that, I will see what the weekend brings

I know some people are against it but for me the timeout system has really worked. I would put DS in the “naughty chair” until he would say that he wants to say sorry and he would come and kiss his sister and mommy.
After that every time he would raise his hand to hit the baby he would stop and remember it is wrong ...and after a while he stopped hitting at all.