Lonely at university

[Bailey134]

Hi,

I’ve recently started university and am really struggling to make friends. I’ve moved to a new area due to it being a good uni so I don’t have any family or friends nearby and am commuting as I have my DD.

I’ve attempted to join clubs but they’re all in the evening when my DD is not at nursery so this isn’t possible and I can’t afford a childminder on top of nursery fees.

Just find it difficult to meet people. Everyone seems to have already formed they’re own social groups within they’re accommodation so I am a bit of an outcast, as well as the fact they’re all 18 and very interested in clubbing which isn’t an option for me with DD. I guess it’s hard as I’m still young and I worry I’ll be spending the next 3 years alone studying.

I’d like to volunteer a couple of hours a week when DD is at nursery so hopefully this will enable me to meet others. I’m quite confident in that I can go and talk to people but I have difficulty building close friendships (haven’t had a best friend in years) but at least to have a few people I could at least talk to would be good enough for me.

Has anyone been in a similar position or have any tips?

volunteering sounds like a great idea to meet new people.

would you consider joining a group for young parents at the weekends (if there is one near you of course?) that way your DD will get to play with other kids, and you will get to socialise.

all the best x

I am very very shy. When I started Uni they had a welcoming lecture, the lecturer advised us to say hello and exchange a few words with the people sitting next to us at every lecture.

I made some of my best friends today (15 years later by doing this)

This is one of the reason why I did not finish my last year at uni. I felt so out of my depth and lonely! They all had their own groups already and I was left by myself. I obviously had to join groups for presentations and group work, but that's all there was to it.

It's easier said than done talking to people next to you in lectures! Majority of them are probably not on the same course as you, only doing the module relating to your course. Volunteering sounds like a very good idea! I really wish I decided to do this while my little one was in nursery, but I was already in a state of depression and loneliness I lost my confidence and became introverted.

Hoping you get a good outcome! Good luck with uni too x

Yes I can totally relate to that and even when you do speak to people there’s so many in the lecture theatre that you rarely see them again!

I’m sorry you didn’t manage to finish it! How long did you manage to stick it out for? x

Is there a group for mature students or student parents at your uni?
I was the same tbh, and in the end I just accepted it and got on with studying. It would definitely have been nice to have some friends though. Good luck, I hope you manage to make some connections with others on your course.

The other thing that I didn’t realise at first was that there are probably Facebook groups for people on your course. I don’t really do Facebook so didn’t know that that was how a lot of people were connecting with each other. So that’s probably worth a look.

What I meant to say was that I didn’t realise there were Facebook groups for people on MY course!

@Bailey134

Hey, I'm sorry to hear you feel like that.
I'm at uni as well and feel a bit lonely, me and my partner are TTC so I guess it will feel worse with me being pregnant and everyone giving me weird stares I guess.
Are you from the U.K.?

I'm in the same boat, just started this September and I'm 10 years older than everyone else, married with kids and responsibilities. We have a group chat for our course but I have nothing to talk about with them. I have joined a club but none of them are on anything even similar to my course and tbh they're not very friendly. I've just accepted it and am getting on with studying. I'm happy to have a brief chat during group work or lectures but I've not found anyone I've clicked with yet.

I am studying in the UK yes!

I completely understand, we have group chats too but they all involve going out and drinking which I cannot do! I don’t have much free time and that which I do have I spend studying so I wouldn’t be able to socialise much anyway. I’m doing the same, just getting on with the course but it would be nice to have a few people to do things with now and then!

sorry to hear you are feeling lonely being at uni is scary when you don't know anyone, my lecturers done loads of group work and group assessments at the beginning to break the ice and have ended up speaking to loads of people I think it's because thwre is 60 in my class rather than a few hundred. Why don't you go out your comfort zone a little bit and try talk more there will be people in the same boat as you xx