anti-tv again -giving up the box - calling spidermama and other to help with giving up!!!

[ernest]

Hi, this is thanks to SPidermama and others - following earlier thread, I got that book, Remotely Controlled, and am totally horrified. hoenestly, I was so shocked before I'd even finished the introduction!

I have now pretty much banned tv in our house (the kids were allowed to watch a dvd they'd already borrowed from library, and Doctor Who - can't give up DW) But apart from that, no tv at all.

For older 2 it's no problem, had only couple of complaints. For youngest (aged 3) he's only complained tiny bit.

BUT How the hell do I get anything done now? Sounds terrible. I did always feel guilty about him watching too much tv, now I've stopped it, but my house is a bloody pig sty now. So how do you cope with young kids + housework - tele???

BTW everyone should read this startling book and give up the evil box.

I haven't read the book, but I have been trying to reduce my son's TV for other reasons. My son has had problems with the development of fine/ gross motor skills.

In my son's case he has other reasons for his problems, but I am sure that the TV retards many children's fine and gross motor skills.

What is helping us is to set up play. For example I might get out my son's toy castle, play with hims for a few minutes and then gradually withdraw so I can get on with some thing else.

Its finding what makes a child tick. A little girl that I occassionally look after is heavily into her colouring books.

Prehaps you need to worry about the house a little less. Looking after children is full time job. You kids will remember the good times with their mum rather than the state of the house.

Is your three year old old enough for nursery?

haven't read the book but since we moved house I haven't watched any TV apart from the occassional DVD and have to say i don't miss it one bit. DS has a couple of DVD's that he's allowed on for half and hour a day but that's it.

Feel like a bit of a square saying I don't watch TV but it is actually very liberating

no nursery possiblity here, he does go to a neighbour's a couple of mornings a week, but house still a state, as I often use this time to do errands more diff with child in tow eg going into city, taking bike to repair shop etc, so out of house and it's still a state!

what does this book say?

only my dad banned tv in our house and I felt very very alienated at school

everyone discussed programs I didn't know anything about

I even pretended to have watched them as I felt left out

you may want to think about this aspect

my two don't watch much so now 'help' with the housework instead. Everything takes 10 times longer and you need the patience of a bloody saint however

We spent some time with no Tv in the house and I loved it and the kids didn't ask for it once. I did get myself a dvd a couple of times and the kids watched once a week (a dvd)on the laptop.
I read more, we even talked more and the kids played more. Dh brought a TV as he has an addiction to watching rubbish but I like watching news or a film if there is a good one on (very rare, we've got German TV) I'd be happyto throw ours away today, just another thing I have to dust.

book highlights problems & negative aspects of tv, social, political, but also untold health damage, delayed/impaired brain development, behavioural problems (strong links with adhd eg) basically a mulitude of negatives, really BIG scary negatives, which are rarely reported, because lets' face it, not in media's interest to highlight to everyone how bad it really is. Now we wouldn't be encouraging our 3 years olds to have a fag, cos we understand it's very bad, well this book has really opened my eyes to how bad tv, and I'm still not even half way through.

But anyway, there has been much discussion already about tv, my prob, hense this thread is how to cope with ds3 without tv, as my house is a state!!

Oh and olive, I do take on board your comments about your dad and tv ban, but for us anyway it doesn't apply, as firstly not banned completely, couldn't expect them to give up doctor who, but we don't live in UK, and the kids do watch UK tv, so don't watch same tv as their peers anyway, but if they did want to watch something & it was valid I'd consider, but bloody Yu-gi-oh or sumo wrestling cartoons are def. off the agenda forever. Anyway, plaenty of kids round here also not allowed to watch (much) tv, but they're older, like my ds1 &2, it's the little one keeping amused and me work at same time that I'm struggling with.

but seriously you shoukd read it. very very interesting

I suppose if you've got him used to watching TV while you do your jobs then it'll be hard. You might have to start by getting him to join in and help at first and eventually along the way he'll find something to occupy himself.
When I wanted to get my cleaning or other jobs done I used to give my 2 a duster or even more beloved a damp cloth and off they would go and clean everything, then I'd give them some toys and they would clean them and when they got fed up they'd go and play.
I didn't like the part in the kitchen when they wanted to help because I hate standing in the kitchen myself but I would set them up at the table with some thing to supposedly prepare for me and then get on with my chopping or peeling at he sink. They also spent many ours siting at the kitchen table playing with play-dough while I cooked/baked etc.

I'm always saying that my dcs watch too much tv- you know its true when your 17month ds can sing the tune of fifi and the flower tots- but have never got my bum into gear about setting any rules. We have good days and bad days.

I keep tyring to remember what it was like when I was a kid and there weren't all those kids channels on all day, I think the housework was just got on with and I entertained myself with my mum forever saying "in a minute"...

Will definately cut down their viewing time after hearing about this book, is the same true for playing on the computer?

if stuff has to be done during the day either set them up with a toy and fly through it or let them 'help'

don't do any tidying throughout the day, just do a whip round at night right after they go to bed so you can relax.

lots of outdoor activities and shopping trips to get them out of the house, i always find my kids easier to cope with out of the house where i'm not stressing about the mess.

make double meals of anything you can (spag bol, casseroles, shepards pies) and freeze half so you only have to cook half as many nights

trust me, you've done the best thing. it's worth the slight annoyance of them being underfoot to know you're not rotting their brain with tv.

and they appreciate the odd thing you do let them watch so much more!

any screen time (computer, play station etc) strongly recommended to limit, but tv is the devil's armpit.

Linked with obesity, depression, lower libido, increased likelyhood of children developming adhd, early puberty, increased sexual behaviour in teens, stunted delopment of children's brains, increased in violent crime, and much more besides.

Seriously worth a read, very interesting and shocking. I've had to shut myself up, cos dh going mad with me, gasping in shock and reading him a paragraph - from pratically ever page, lol

I'm totally happy with the decision, just wish I'd had the guts/motivation to do it sooner, and they hardly miss it and don't complain, I'm just crap at organising myself to sort out house and look after ds3. And he doesn't start school till 2010, so I'll be appearing in one of those dirty people show, but at least I won't be watching it, lol

I know you don't want discussion of how bad tv is (I didn't see your other thread) but this book also v good

We don't have a tv - we watch dvds on laptop and this is an occasional treat for dd (she's 2.11).

I'd second the advice about letting him 'help' with housework. I give dd a baby wipe and ask her to clean her toys - she gets v absorbed in it. She also loves standing up at the sink - I fill it with soapy water and she pretends to wash dishes while I cook.

Also spending 5/10 mins starting her off with an activity and then leaving her to it - this sometimes works, but sometimes doesn't tbh!

How old is your 3 year old - just 3 or nearer to 4? I haven't banned TV, but have limited it alot so its not on during the day. I find lego really good. OK you have to pick up the lego eventually, but it seems to be about as engrossing as TV. I think you just have to grit your teeth and get on with housework to an extent, probably letting them 'help' you with it. If its any help, DS's pre-school teacher says the best thing for children of this age is to let them get on with things by themselves without too much adult intervention - I find this an encouraging thought when I have stuff to do.

I would love to cut down on the time my dcs spend in front of screens.
My dd1 (10) isn't really interested in television, dd2 (nearly 2) is too young to bother with it really, but ds1 (8) and ds2 (5) watch more than I am happy with and also adore the computer.
I find it very difficult to decide on rules and police them.
I also find myself feeling guilty if I have to, say, do things in the kitchen and ds2 is at a loose end.
Ds2 tends to rage and tantrum and ds1 gets very angry if I say they have watched enough - but I suppose this is a separate issue really.
Have dreams of moving to Swedish wilderness with no telly...just lots of space and trees to climb and lakes... I think if children had more freedom they wouldn't crave easy indoor entertainment so much.
Sorry for ramble.

lol at 'at least I won't be watching it' - so true!

I love looking over and seeing dd really caught up in what she's doing and whispering away to herself - even if it's pretty banal to an adult - instead of staring slack-jawed at a screen...

Get rid of the box Tooticky - then there are no arguments about how much tv is too much!
you'll never look back

I'd love to but dp would not go for it.

Does your ds look at books by himself yet? Dd will sit and tell her dolls a story if it's one she knows well.

tooticky I understand - didn't mean that to sound evangelical, I know it's not for everyone. With us dh had to convince me. He was on at me for about 2 years before I gave in.

He does look at books by himself but there are times he just wants to slump in front of something. Don't apologise for your evangelism - it's an excellent cause

My dp is worse than the kids for wanting the tv on!

Personally I could give up TV entirely except for the two weeks of Wimbledon.
We decided, following a recent Cornell study, linking tv to autism, that dd will not watch any television until she is at least 3 (according to the findings of the study). I will definitely read that book.

Back to the OP - housework with the kids or in the evening? Could talking books (CDs or whatever) replace tv or is that naive to suggest. Over the summer, can you turf them out in the garden or is that not possible?

Oh, I don't know, ernest.

I'm always a little uncomfortable with this sort of thing .. someone brings a book out and all of a sudden the world needs to turn upside down on its head ... until the next book comes out.

No banning of the TV in my house, I'm afraid! The genie is out of the bottle, and I for one, ain't stuffing him back in

We have never banned TV in our house but we have never watched much either ? at 3 it was occasional cbeebies programs ? so dd never sat down to watch it without when I was doing the housework. So to answer the OP about how you get the housework done ? with difficulty when they are that little but it does get much easier as they become better at entertaining themselves. At 3 I would get dd doing drawing or playing with a big box of toys that only came out when I needed time to myself?or let her ?help? and allow twice as long to do it!

Dd is allowed, even encouraged sometimes, to watch television but she rarely does - she has just never developed the habit.

each to their own des, but for me, for us, it's little/no tv from now on. Tv is proven to be bad, addictive and has little/no benefits. If it was booze or fags you wouldn't think twice would you?

Incidentally, in the last week or 2 since the 'ban' came into effect, I have noticed a HUGE improvement in their behaviour, in how they act with each other and other kids (dramatically less fighting etc, ) and not just me, ds 1's teacher even e-mailed me yesterday to say how pleased she was with him and how much better, focussed, motivated, he has been the last week or so. Coincidence? Maybe. But I don't think so. But my house

Anyway, I'm not here to convert, but to get help with this new domestic problem that's arisen. Actually, if truth be told I'm a shit housewife, and have been convincing myself it'l be better when..... since ds1 was born nearly 8 years ago . but this is not helping my house or anything, but it is helping my sons.