anti-tv again -giving up the box - calling spidermama and other to help with giving up!!!

[ernest]

Hi, this is thanks to SPidermama and others - following earlier thread, I got that book, Remotely Controlled, and am totally horrified. hoenestly, I was so shocked before I'd even finished the introduction!

I have now pretty much banned tv in our house (the kids were allowed to watch a dvd they'd already borrowed from library, and Doctor Who - can't give up DW) But apart from that, no tv at all.

For older 2 it's no problem, had only couple of complaints. For youngest (aged 3) he's only complained tiny bit.

BUT How the hell do I get anything done now? Sounds terrible. I did always feel guilty about him watching too much tv, now I've stopped it, but my house is a bloody pig sty now. So how do you cope with young kids + housework - tele???

BTW everyone should read this startling book and give up the evil box.

My DD (2.3) has never watched TV because I had heard how bad it is for the under 3's. I work from home and DD is with me full-time so I well understand how fustrating it can be to entertain a child when it is the last thing you want to do. Things that work for us are definite times (ie, not saying 'we will do xyz later but saying we will do xyz when I have finished abc and sticking with it), drawing/painting, qid pro quo's (ie if I read you this story, you have to let me work for a bit). On the plus side, DD is capable of entertaining herself for up to an hour at a time and her language skills, both comunicating and understanding, are very good. Another thing that helps is prioritising - is a clean house really that important?

tooticky, my suggestions for you are

1. read the book
2. ban just switching on and flicking about till they find something, they can only watch a specific programme then switch back off.
3. limit to eg max 1 hour a day, and poss not every day.

Like I sadi, I've noticed my kids behaviour really improved since they've not watch tv. Maybe you'll have a few rough days, then they'll get used to the new rules (maybe explain why you're doing it too)

How about putting the television in a bedroom or a room that is not your main living area.

We have been living without live TV for a year (we watch and let the girls watch DVDs) but it's temporary and when we do get another TV, we have agreed we won't put it in our living room. It will be put somewhere where it is more of an effort to watch it.

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Pruners - we have been without live-TV for 10 months now and it has been an interesting 'experiment'. What motivated your TV-free household and how have you found it?

I have not missed watching anything in particular. Nothing at all. But I have missed the presence of the TV. And DH and I have not been that much more productive with the extra time we have in the evenings. I am studying two nights per week, so it helps with that. We rarely go to bed late, so I suppose it is good for our health!

Only read OP but we have no tv and I use story tapes with my ds who is 4. He really enjoys sitting down to listen to them, and remembers huge amounts about the story. I know it is a passive activity, but he gets plenty of exercise at other times.

I also do things like set him up with an activity while I do something next to him. Sitting in the bath playing occupies him while I clean the bathroom for instance. I also tidy in the evenings if there are people coming round, and just do the bare minimum during the day. Once a week we have a blitz where hoovering and sheets and stuff gets done. I usually take ds out while dp whizzes round (he is quicker than me )

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we have a tv and i don't limit it at all

my kids watch perhaps an hour a month. i am guessing that. actually i don't know when they last watched. they don't want to

they have NEVER watched tv. I have never turned it on for them. We don't watch tv, except the odd film/dvd, after they are in bed and which they find hugely boring (usually subtitled or the West Wing. Dr Who but I woudl not have that on in front of a nearly 4 yo, personally).

I honestly think its about just not being in the habit of having it on

if its switched off, they WILL learn to entertain themselves. even if they cold turkey. At the end of the day-they ARE the kids.

And at the end of the day-if you need to tidy, you need to tidy. They should be helping, anyway.

I agree completely with desiderata, I'm afraid. So many things seem to be demonised by one form of research or another; my parents are great ones for believing each food scare story so beloved of the Daily Mail and frankly, I'm amazed they haven't starved to death, there have been so many. DS (4) watches some tv (and switches it off as soon as his programme has finished without whining or having a tantrum); he also goes to pre-school, rides his bike, plays with friends, draws and paints, is capable of entertaining himself for an hour at a time without needing us,makes up imaginary stories, has an advanced vocab, is not autistic, obese...I think to imply that parents who let their children watch tv might as well give them fags and booze is somewhat melodramatic. As with so many things in life, it's all a question of moderation. Personally, I am happy that my son will go from asking me thoughtful questions about the solar system to laughing himself silly at a chase scene in Scooby Doo.

Dear Filly, please come and talk to my ds1 about the fact that he should be helping with the tidying. I'm sure he'd find you more convincing than me.

Sorry, but I can't believe you would control your life by either a book or a TV. We all watch TV in our house, not too much but enough IMO. I have always tried to limit the amount of TV my children watch - we simply turn it off when needed. I really don't see the reason to ban it. How would you feel if your DCs banned you from Mumsnet?

BTW I should have added that my boys have always been very outdoors - probably due to the fact that we've lived in reasonably rural areas - but they still like the Simpsons

lol at the untold damage caused by tv. we must all be a load of duffers then as i'm sure we watched it growing up.
bollocks to aric sigman, he's a quack. you should have a look at his previous research, though, very interesting... what was it again? oh yes, which hollywood star has the definitively best legs. most impressive.

What works for us:

• no TV reception
• TV set for watching DVDs in a room of its own (NZ houses are bigger, so not always going to be practical in UK but it is great not to have it sitting there in the living room)
• plenty of DVDs available: Mary Poppins, Dead Serious BBC Documentaries, Wallace and Gromit and all sorts, including the singing mouth at the beginning of Rocky Horror .
• dd1 allowed to watch something if she asks for it (within reason), so no suggestion to her that this is a treat or forbidden pleasure.

She's 2.9 and doesn't watch anything for longer than about 15 minutes. She tends to ask for a specific sequence a few minutes long, eg the robin in Mary Poppins, watches it, then moves on to other games. So it's just an opportunity to sit down and feed dd2 and then off we go again.

Can see we will need to think again when she wants to watch whole films but so far so good.

We gace up terlevision for a few months last yearand I found it refreshing and managed to get lots done as I couldn not spend time vegetating in front of the TV, dd was 4 at the time. I found that at first it was difficult to keep dd occupied but as she spent more tme playing and less time in front of the TV she became more able to play on her own so I could gbet things done around the house.

I also found that I got more tidying done in the evening as my time was not taken up with TV and I found I also had more energy so got things done quicker.

I reintroduced the television after a few months but we do not watch any where near as much as we used to and dd watches no television most dats.

aitch, then read the book. One of the exact points is how children's tv has changed over the last couple of decade, high speed editing, quickly jumping from one scene to another, flashing images, much more bad language and agression etc. These are facts, but anyway, I actually pointed out I wasn't banning it, no intention of giving up doctor who.

But I wouldn't dismiss this book without even considering it. I also wouldn't put a book based on many different studies by top medical intitustions in the world with the weekly contradictory quack food scare articles in the Daily Mail.

Ds1 does help and is a better tidierupper than I am. But ds3 not quite there yet.

Like I say, each to their own. I didn't want to start a debate on the rights and wrongs of teles. Until a couple of weeks ago I was also watching loads, but I think I've read enough, and deep down know enough to choose for us to greatly reduce the amount of tv, to say just 1 a week. But I'm not trying to convert, just getting tips on sorting out my house without the elec babysitter, and I've got some great ideas. Play doh has been long forgotten, but will reappear now. Thanks everyone.

We're similar to welliemum (but living in Scotland not NZ)

• no tv reception
• we have a portable tv which lives in a cupboard (we open the cupboard door to watch) which we use to watch videos/dvds
• dd will watch the same one again and again and gets so much from them this way.

She reads a lot
Listens to music
Listens to audio books

The house is a mess, but a happy mess

oh book is poorly researched bllx.

there is another one that is even worse-set free childhood, i think. just alarmingly poor from a psychology pov.

There are lots of good reasons not to watch too much tv, or spend too much time on the computer. they are not insiduous "your brainwaves will be utterly fried" things, but obvious stuff like if you are watching tv you are sitting still, and while a kid may be rake like atm, the habit of not exercising is not going to be good later in life. Or that if you are watching tv, you are not learning how to entertain yourself-pretty much everyone reports that once you turn the tv off and MAKE kids entertain themselves just by giving them the choice of that or getting bored, they DO.

oh i have no solutions re the tidying. I am a cow where such things are concerned. My inclination would be to chuck the tv out or link it to tidying, possibly using a pasta jar, since it would irk me mightily to see my kids watching cartoons while I cleaned up their mess. But that kind of thing does annoy me, tbh. BUT remember this is all theory, my kids are under 4, and there is nothing that annoys me more than being told how to manage 4 yo behviour by the mother of an angelic 1 yo, so-I think best to ignore me, please

ps tick do you know that it is possible to buy the bullerby children? the problem is that its on american region vhs. i am working here on a Plan involving Cunning.

and i do wish someone would explain to me the difference between watching broadcast tv, say cbeebies and dvds

i have never actually watched cbeebies but it doesn't have ads and it surely is not THAT full of crack cocaine and mass shootings for it to be an issue?

For us, the difference between watching TV and DVDs is that the DVDs have a definite end. That works for the children and for us. DH and I were barely watching any TV when we got rid of our TV licence and un-tuned the TV; when we did watch live-TV we'd always end up watching it all night, whatever old dross was on.

We will get our TV licence back and re-tune the TV, maybe this winter, but I hope we are now out of the habit of watching live-TV. Instead we'll get into a habit of recording specific programmes we want to watch.

My children have a limited stock of DVDs which they're probably bored of. They have to really be in the mood to want to watch something.

Filly, my dd(7) is beyond cbeebies so can't comment on the content of that anymore.

The only time she has access to regular tv is when we visit my parents (twice a year), and when my Mum makes up a video tape of certain programmes that we watch together at home.

My problem with tv is when it is just on for the sake of it, is a constant background to life, and when children are left alone in front of it for long periods of time.

Also the programmes are much more "in your face", and choppily edited than they used to be. They are paced so fast nowadays that I have trouble following them sometimes (hark at me.....eeh, when I were a lad.....)

I think the differences with watching dvds are;

dd can rewind the bits she likes/doesn't understand and we can watch again.

she can rewind songs so that she can learn all the words and regale us with her performances

she also fast forwards through bits she doesn't like (any element of danger/ when anyone does anything "naughty" etc)

We maintain total control over what is on the tv

I've not had a tv now for over 10 years and personally would never go back to having one.

(I am eternally grateful to my Mum though, who records Dr Who, Robin Hood and other occasional programmes for me .)

Apologies for a very convoluted, not very well put, looooong post.

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