anti-tv again -giving up the box - calling spidermama and other to help with giving up!!!

[ernest]

Hi, this is thanks to SPidermama and others - following earlier thread, I got that book, Remotely Controlled, and am totally horrified. hoenestly, I was so shocked before I'd even finished the introduction!

I have now pretty much banned tv in our house (the kids were allowed to watch a dvd they'd already borrowed from library, and Doctor Who - can't give up DW) But apart from that, no tv at all.

For older 2 it's no problem, had only couple of complaints. For youngest (aged 3) he's only complained tiny bit.

BUT How the hell do I get anything done now? Sounds terrible. I did always feel guilty about him watching too much tv, now I've stopped it, but my house is a bloody pig sty now. So how do you cope with young kids + housework - tele???

BTW everyone should read this startling book and give up the evil box.

to be fair avi i think nearly 2 is the earliest a kid will play alone, really, unless they have older siblngs.

dd is okay at playing alone but is still a bit lost when ds is at kindergarten

Hi fillyjonk. I think I read about it on the JABS support forum. There is a section of the forum where people link to interesting news they have come across. I don't have time to look it up just now but will try to find it tonight when the kids are in bed.

Totally agree BTW with what everybody says about limiting TV and it does seem obvious that a lot of TV watching and therefore sitting still is not good for children.

I think some children are more suspectible to stimulation than others. For those with children who aren't it is easy to say - what is the problem with limited/restricted TV viewing.

DS2 (4) will switch the TV after half an hour, DS1(6) will totally vegetate in front of it if given the chance. He demands TV and computer time and says he has nothing to do and is that all he wants to do.

As an experiment we have been doing half an hour on the computer playing chess every day. But even that is difficult and I think affects his behaviour. he becomes more violent and aggressive.

I have banned TV and computer before with good effect and have just put another ban in place for a week .

I find it difficult to find a compromise that allows him some access which doesn't turn him into a little monster.

filthymindedvixen , on another thread, spidermama who brought this book to my attention in the 1st place said she'd lend hers out, so may be worth CATing her? I'd offer to lend you mine, but international postage would probably make it cheaper to just buy it anyway, I think it was £6 from play.com.

ta Ernest, I'll CAT Spidermama. It's not that it's expensive, just that I absolutely muust NOT buy any more books. Ever

I totally agree, but unfortunately living out of Uk means having to buy everything you want to read - no good old library for us. Sigh. It's crazy, and dh bookaholic.

Query: If TV is banned, but DVDs are permitted. What is acceptable time to be watching a DVD? Say the children select a movie - should they watch all of it, or just part of it? What about DVD's comprising of many episodes... should they watch all, a few - say 3, - or a specific time length such as up to 30 minutes?

I have been nannying for a family without TV for almost 2 years now, and certainly it has made me think more about the time I spend watching TV at home - seem to spend far more time on Mumsnet than watching TV

Have set recorder for Panorama . Though looks like it may be watchable online for a few days following broadcast.

The problem is that the argument seems to polarize - no tv at all v. plonking kids in front of it for hours at a time. We don't have our tv in the living/dining room or in bedrooms. Our tv is in a separate very small room which isn't used of anything else. Ths isn't an optiond for lots of people, I know, but it does make it easier to have to make a conscious decision to watch tv rather than having it on as a defalt position. We make a point of finding programmes we can watch as a family (that's why we have Sky - if we feel like a bit of telly, there's always something we can watch together - re-runs of Scrapheap Challenge for example) and we enjoy that time together. But my children lead very busy, active lives and sometimes it's good to just flop on a beanbag in front of something mindless. They did sporty things all Saturday for example, then had ds's football presentation evening so were in bed late. They then spent most of Sunday morning cuddled up together in front of Nick Junior. Fine by me! But no tv on a school night or immediately before bed any night.

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I am going to watch the Panoramma programme tonight.

But I think it is a bit of a red herring - if you don't let your kids watch any tv then you end up spending more time with your kids.

For instance my kids are on a TV/computer ban for a week. So this afternoon after picking up DS1 from school I have promised him a gave of chess - as opposed to letting him play chess on computer.

Then having had some attention from mum he will tease and fight with his little brother less. And everyone is happier and calmer.

NZ, Pruners!

Although you'd have to think of something better than "because I want a TV room" on the immigration form...

I try to do everything in moderation, including TV watching. I grew up in a household (academic parents) where we were allowed to watch 3 hours a week of tv and when we were older we could earn an extra hour for every novel that we read. I was so busy reading the novels I never got around to watching my hours and hours of earned tv time. I try to do the same thing with my own children (4 and 6). I let them watch tv only on Saturday and Sunday mornings until I get woken up. This has the double effect of limiting their tv time AND even better, a huge incentive to be quiet and let mummy have a lie in on the weekends!!!! I put videos (we don't even have a dvd player) and computer time in the same category as tv time. When they are older they will be allowed to use the computer for school work, but as far as computer games are concerned (even the "educational" ones) I put that in the vegetative tv category. I think that by allowing the kids some amount of tv time, I am not making it totally a forbidden fruit and truthfully, I don't think a little hurts. And by having a specific time and day when they can watch, I eliminate the constant requests for tv at other times. They know it's a blanket no.

Sofia - sounds brilliant.

I think that I have finally convinced DH that we need to be much more strict with the kids and my latest is the idea of getting rid of the TV for the summer.

But your weekend - watch DVD till mum and dad get up on the weekends is inspired

We have now been without the TV and computer for 4 days -

• the boys have more energy
• have played independently for half an hour this evening giving each other the space to play their own games (DS1 chess and DS2 some lego marble game of his own invention)
• have played in the garden under very loose supervision for half an hour (mum got some gardening done )
• they are eating more
• I have been a better parent (have played chess with DS1, dominos with DS2, power rangers with DS2 in the garden, they have done art)
• DS1 (6) is less aggressive
• DS2 (4) is talking better and our relationship is better

I have done this before for a week, but then allowed TV to creep back in. DS2 can take it or leave it, but DS1 is very sensitive to all outside influences and they are both a bit hyperactive (mine are the kids who NEVER stop talking. But hopefully I can make some changes that will stick.

Anybody thinking of doing something similar - DO IT, it changes my kids.

ERNEST - didnt get to read whole thread but: have you thought that the things this guy says are not the whole truth about tv? there are plenty of studies about the benefits of appropriate and educaitonal tv for kids (developed math and verbal skills etc). The point is the Content of tv, and the style technicques used which should be appropriate for the age range. Surely your child could learn agressive behaviours from viewing a violent cartoon. but not can hardly imagine damage happening form a four year old watching boogie beebies.
This guys should not be making parents feel bad in order to sell some books and get some pr - remember he was a tv presenter himself for a good decade!
All the studies he talks about - read them, and find how many ways you can interpret the info. Even the reserachers themselves say 'there is no evidence that tv causes adhd, it could be that parents of kids with adhd use the tv more....' etc etc.
so i wouldn't change your religion because of some guy who is trying to make a few bucks off you.

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sorry about the many typos.
The bottom line is - everything in moderation. weather its sugar, red meat, tv, reading, excercise, whatever!!!
just be relaxed, choose the right programs for your child, monitor what they watch, and make sure its part of a healthy balanced lifestyle.

pruners - sounds lovely.
when sesame street came on 20 years ago there were also lashes in the media about 'tv is bad for kids'.
google him on the net and find out some other things he has done which are not all that wholesome.
i think he is cravin attention, pr, and money. and probably has some nanies to watch the kids while he's out getting his picture taken