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Original poster

Always told my baby looks nothing like me :(

53 replies

Fdbjg123 · 17/09/2018 13:04

I know it's silly and it shouldn't matter but it hurts my feelings always being told he's 'all daddy' or just like dad. It makes me feel left out and it's constantly rubbed in my face by my SO's side of the family. I just wish he looked more like me as I went through pregnancy and birth and he ended up looking like dad!! I wouldn't even mind if it wasn't constantly brought up so that I'm made to feel like just the baby incubator. I'm sure it's just hormones making me this bothered about it because I know at the end of the day he is my child and I love him dearly. I'm just praying he grows up to look more like me ha. I've uploaded some pics for reference - first pic is our baba, second is me as a baby and third is my SO as a baby. The trouble is SO looks so much like he did as a baby as he does now (same distinctive features) whereas I look nothing like I did as a baby so I feel like I have no chance of any of my babies looking like current me. So frustrating lol. Does anyone else have this problem??

Always told my baby looks nothing like me :(
Always told my baby looks nothing like me :(
Always told my baby looks nothing like me :(
OP posts:
Unicornandbows · 17/09/2018 13:06

I find that when they are young they look like their dad this is based on 6 babies I've seen in my family and when they turn around 2/3 the mum starts showing if that helps.

Angharad07 · 17/09/2018 13:08

I think he looks like a mix of the both of you anyway!

Yellowbooks · 17/09/2018 13:08

I don’t think he looks like his dad especially. Your kid is a cutie. His dad eyes are quite close together. Your kid’s eyes are normal spacing.

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Hadalifeonce · 17/09/2018 13:08

I still have this 18 years on, I used to joke that I demanded a maternity test in the hospital.

themadhatterswench · 17/09/2018 13:09

Aww he totally has your eyes, nose, lips, he just has the same cheeks as his dad (mine do too) which frames their face and makes people comment because it's the most obvious trait when comparing pictures.

No useful advice but he's a wee stunner Smile

TellerTuesday4EVA · 17/09/2018 13:13

I totally know where your coming from as I had this with DD, tbh I think depending on the type of people your SO's family are they just say it regardless.

FWIW MIL harped on & on about how much DD looked DH when she was a baby, tbh she did look very much like him compared to me. However she's 5 now & definitely looks more like me now... MIL is still 'amazed' at how much she looks like DH now.... not one other person thinks so (DD & DH included) but I think she gets something from it so best to just leave her to it

FranticallyPeaceful · 17/09/2018 13:14

My youngest is 100% his daddy! He’s a miniature version of him. But it doesn’t bother me. I made him Smile
It shouldn’t bother you, it’s just the way they look and nobody can change that. You will find they tend to look more like their daddies when they’re babies though, I read on another thread it’s a survival thing in case the Mum dies but I don’t know if that’s true - interesting if so!

Chinks123 · 17/09/2018 13:14

When DD was born she was just a miniature copy of her dad, not one feature of mine. Around 18 months she "changed" and is now just my double. All we get are comments that she looks just like I did and looks so much like me, poor dp doesn't get a mention anymore Grin

BE18mum · 17/09/2018 13:14

I get this all the time with DD but doesn’t bother me. Someone on a similar thread on here said it was an evolutionary trait to help men bond with/take care of their offspring but have no idea if that’s true or not. All I see is my baby and don’t feel I’m a good judge of who she looks like.

Livinglavidal0ca · 17/09/2018 13:14

All 3 of those photos look the same to me!Grin

Kezebel · 17/09/2018 13:15

OP, he's beautiful.

If it helps, it's an evolutionary thing. If the baby looks more like the father as a newborn and infant, the father is more likely to bond with the baby and look after them.

This is a really old article, but it references a few studies -

www.nytimes.com/2005/03/22/health/the-claim-babies-tend-to-look-like-their-fathers.html

My DS was the image of my DH from birth till about 6 months. Now he's almost 3, people tell me how much they can see me in him. Poor thing Wink

Chinks123 · 17/09/2018 13:15

I read that too FranticallyPeaceful it's supposed to make them bond with the baby and be more protective or something...

ZigZagZebras · 17/09/2018 13:16

I looked at the pictures before reading and thought they're right baby looks just like dad, but thought the second picture was dad!!
Definitely looks more like you from baby pictures, it will all change as he grows anyway though.
My 2 girls look like me and my boy looks like DP.

Rude of his family to say that, if they do again just say 'oh have you not seen any photos of me as a baby? He looks just like I did' and end the conversation.

SpoonBlender · 17/09/2018 13:17

Tell people "Yes, I think he might have had an affair". Confuse the bastards.

dinosaurkisses · 17/09/2018 13:17

Are you the baby with the tartan booties?

If so I think there’s a lot of similarities- he has your wee elf ears!

If it helps, I find people usually really overstate how much babies look like their dads in a patriarchial way of reassuring the father of paternity. It does my head in.

piraterach · 17/09/2018 13:17

If it makes you feel better, babies are meant to look like their fathers. It's meant to be so that if fathers can see their self in the child they are psychologically more keen to look after it, knowing that they are preserving their own dna.

MrsCharlesBrandon · 17/09/2018 13:22

I have 3 DC and none of them look like their father. His genetics come out in their personality and facial expressions.

MIL is convinced DS is the spit of DH, I just nod and carry on as he quite obviously looks like his sisters.

Agree with ZigZag though, bit rude of his family.

Evvvve · 17/09/2018 13:22

My two look just like their dad, you wouldn't think I was related to them because they look nothing like me. I do get a bit fed up with the comments every.single.time certain people see them. Iv done the whole joking along but it gets pretty grating. They are obviously beautiful and I wouldn't change them! No advice really, just wanted to say you're not the only one!

FlamingJuno · 17/09/2018 13:22

Both my now adult DSs look like their fathers. There's not a drop of me in either of them. Meh. Doesn't change anything. DGS looks exactly like DDiL, much to DS1's surprise Grin. I think people like to see a paternal resemblance in boys and a maternal one in girls, it doesn't mean anything.

spacefighter · 17/09/2018 13:23

My youngest was the double of her dad but she's now looking like me. Children change all the time as they grow up.

Disfordarkchocolate · 17/09/2018 13:28

He's got your ears!! Honestly, just ignore them all. He's not a mini me, he's your son (and adorable). Only one of mine looks like me at all and I rarely think about it. I was amazed how much I could see my son in my beautiful grandaughter, I think it's a little part of feeling like they are family to look for similarities.

Tinty · 17/09/2018 13:28

In my eyes, he looks like the baby in the 2nd picture, (is this you?). However he looks really cute whoever he looks like.

Original poster
Fdbjg123 · 17/09/2018 13:30

@dinosaurkisses yes I'm the one with the tartan booties. Wow surprised how many of you think he looks like me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Fdbjg123 · 17/09/2018 13:31

@Tinty yes that one is me. Must just be SO's family over exaggerating then?! Never told be looks like me by them

OP posts:
Bumpitybumper · 17/09/2018 13:37

I had/have the same from my DH's family and I always think it's because they are more familiar with DH as a baby and are looking for similarities so will inevitably find them. Whenever I speak to anyone on my side of the family they usually can see much more of me in my DC so I think they are probably biased too just the other way round. I wouldn't dwell on it too much.

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