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Original poster

Changing hairstyle at nursery

54 replies

Robinche · 28/08/2018 22:22

Hi
I am new here. Something has really bugged me and I’m trying to figure out why this gets to me as much as it does and I guess I might be over reacting too.
I get my 4 yr old daughter ready in the mornings although she is pretty independent with dressing. I do her hair and often it’s just a pony tail or hair clips to keep it out of the paint etc.
Most days now she’s coming home from nursery with elaborate plaits, buns etc like someone is practicing for a career change in wedding hair!
You would think that I would welcome these freebie up-do’s, but I don’t, I really hate it.
I hate it most because my daughter will not mention which of the staff are doing it and this unnerves me.
Does anyone else have this experience and if so, how have you handled it?

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Faster · 28/08/2018 22:24

Is your daughter happy with having her hair done? If she is then it wouldn’t bother me really. If she’s not then just ask them to pack it in.

Zofloramummy · 28/08/2018 22:24

Umm this happened when my DD was in nursery. Usually if she has got food, paint etc in her hair and it needed sorting.
Honestly, just talk to the named carer and ask them not to do it.

Lazypuppy · 28/08/2018 22:27

Am i missing something? What's the problem with them doing her hair?

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hopeful31yrs · 28/08/2018 22:27

Nits in the nursery? My daughter went with a ponytail and came back with a plait. I assume they are just trying to stop it dragging everywhere

cameltoeflappyflapflap · 28/08/2018 22:27

Why does this matter?

Hurryupbacktoschool · 28/08/2018 22:27

This happens to my two year old. I love it because she never lets me do anything more than a ponytail.

JellieEllie · 28/08/2018 22:29

Maybe other children are asking for their hair done too and she wants to be the same as everyone else ?
If she likes it and enjoys having it done I really wouldn't make an issue out of it. Especially if other kids are also having it done she may feel left out if she's told by the minder that she's not allowed it done.

thismeansnothing · 28/08/2018 22:29

This was a phase with my daughter for a while especially once she hit pre school part of nursery. Herr and her friends just liked playing hairdressers and the staff just got involved playing with them.

Immigrantsong · 28/08/2018 22:30

May I offer another perspective? Think about how nice it is of the staff to engage and go beyond their job description to do something with your little one. Such things can be great bonding activities and show caring and loving people. Don't bedrudge it unless she isn't happy with it.

JacNaylor · 28/08/2018 22:33

It might get messy during the day so they decide to give her a little tlc. It's nice because she's getting a bit of 1-1 attention. However, if you're really unhappy just mention it to them, they won't realise unless you tell them.

pastabest · 28/08/2018 22:34

I can see why this would make you feel funny but can't put my finger on why.

If someone did this to my DD I would probably take it quite personally as her hair is a birds nest despite my best efforts. If MIL looks after her for a few hours she is returned to me looking like a child model with perfect hair, it grates, I don't know why and MIL definitely isn't doing it on purpose.

WooYa · 28/08/2018 22:38

IME it's usually she playing hairdressers or doing something extremely messing/eating. Once had a parent complain to me that her child's hair had was crusty - because you sent it in a mess and it fell in her lunch and you told us not to touch it on the other hand.... parents request elaborate hairstyles from us sometimes - French plaits for holidays/days outs (to make it curl) and we always try and oblige

Original poster

Robinche · 28/08/2018 22:38

She likes it which makes me like it. I think I’m concerned that when I mentioned it, no one wanted to say it was them. She also clammed up. I’m not a pushy person and she rarely doesn’t tell me anything.
Also, it’s school for her in a few weeks and it’s a no no at the school. I don’t think it’s fair to be doing it to a little one going off to school soon, despite all th very reasonable comments above supporting it. And also, what’s the issue in not telling me....bugging me, but probably not for long.

OP posts:

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 28/08/2018 22:38

This happens with my dd as well. I find it quite strange too so get where you’re coming from op. Tbh unless your dd is upset by it (my dd isn’t) then it’s prob not worth making a big thing about it.

wineandcheeseplease · 28/08/2018 22:39

I work in a nursery and see staff do it. The kids love it but if your not happy just say. No one will mind.

IAmLordVoldemort · 28/08/2018 22:40

You’re massively overthinking this. Massively. She’s probably clammed up because she senses that you don’t like it.

Excitedforxmas · 28/08/2018 22:41

Aww my daughter used to come home like this. Quite often it was during quiet time for the little ones and they used to play hairdressers. I loved it that she had such a close relationship with her keyworker. Is it worth causing a scene over?

PandaPieForTea · 28/08/2018 22:41

I think this happens a lot in nurseries. My DDs sometimes come out with elaborate plaits, but more often recently it’s been a ponytail on DD2 who has a short bob, so I don’t normally put her hair up.

Strangely I’m less bothered by the elaborate hairstyles than the ponytail as the ponytail feels like a judgement.

Hannahfftl · 28/08/2018 22:42

If she's anything like the kids in my class they see their friends whose ponytail has fallen out getting their hair fixed and pull on their own to get there's sorted too. Then put in requests! The amount of 'Elsa plaits' I do in a day is hilarious once they spot I've had to fix one.

Just mention it to the staff, I'd be mortified if I knew the parents weren't happy with me fixing their little ones hair.

Original poster

Robinche · 28/08/2018 22:45

I can see where many comments are coming from but being the youngest in a new school class is going to be hard enough for her without her then realising she can’t have that one on one time having her hair braided everyday. Yes, it’s been everyday for a few weeks now.

OP posts:

backstreetboysareback · 28/08/2018 22:47

My first thought reading it was nits and maybe they haven't explained to you incase whoever had the nits overhears

Mindchilder · 28/08/2018 22:49

If one of the staff is good at plaits then the children probably ask for it.

They're hardly going to pin the kids down and do it against their will!

Toofle · 28/08/2018 22:50

She won't expect it at school. NT children tend to be very accepting of different set-ups in new places.

Goandplay · 28/08/2018 22:50

I wouldn’t like it. I don’t think they should be doing elaborate hair styles at all. Tidy it up into a pony tail maybe. Unnecessary grooming.

Also you have to pull hair a bit to get it into any type of style I would have thought.

Mindchilder · 28/08/2018 22:50

Lots of things will be different at school than at nursery, I don't think hair braiding will be an issue.

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