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Original poster

Changing hairstyle at nursery

54 replies

Robinche · 28/08/2018 22:22

Hi
I am new here. Something has really bugged me and I’m trying to figure out why this gets to me as much as it does and I guess I might be over reacting too.
I get my 4 yr old daughter ready in the mornings although she is pretty independent with dressing. I do her hair and often it’s just a pony tail or hair clips to keep it out of the paint etc.
Most days now she’s coming home from nursery with elaborate plaits, buns etc like someone is practicing for a career change in wedding hair!
You would think that I would welcome these freebie up-do’s, but I don’t, I really hate it.
I hate it most because my daughter will not mention which of the staff are doing it and this unnerves me.
Does anyone else have this experience and if so, how have you handled it?

OP posts:

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Anoisagusaris · 28/08/2018 22:52

She is going to have to realise she won’t get one-to-one time in many areas other than hair styling at school.

Enidblyton1 · 28/08/2018 22:53

I think you’re worrying unnecessarily. My DD used to love having her her plaited by nursery staff.

When she went to school, of course this stopped. It wasn’t a big deal - different room, different teachers. Everything moves on. DD didn’t mention the lack of hairstyling in Reception and I doubt your DD will either.

Original poster

Robinche · 28/08/2018 22:56

Today it was very tight and I think had been done earlier today as the hair was hard to untangle for bath. She was also rubbing her head a lot where the hair had been pulled into the style and left there for a long time.
The school induction was really clear about it, I sensed it has been a problem.
I don’t doubt the nursery staff are being nice.

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Clammyclam · 28/08/2018 22:57

I used to ask DD's nursery to do her hair as she would never let me touch it (birds nest) and it started a whole thing for a hairdressing corner. The kids loved it and she had lovely hair all tidy!
I was happy with it

I can see why you don't like it, ask what the deal is

Mindchilder · 28/08/2018 22:58

School induction was really clear about what?

If it bothers you just tell the nursery/your dd she isn't allowed her hair braided.

Original poster

Robinche · 28/08/2018 23:01

Preparing them. Doing hair yourselves and not sending the children in with nit prone, paint prone, accident prone tresses. I could see their point. One teacher, one assistant and a load of girls requesting Elsa plaits! Omd

OP posts:

Mindchilder · 28/08/2018 23:04

Preparing them. Doing hair yourselves and not sending the children in with nit prone, paint prone, accident prone tresses. I could see their point
I really don't understand what this means? Paint prone tresses? Do you mean the school told you long hair needs to be tied back?
A child requesting an elsa plait isn't an issue, teacher just says no.

Original poster

Robinche · 28/08/2018 23:07

I disagree. I think it’s totally acceptable for the school to ask for long hair to be tied back. I’m not bothered by that at all.

OP posts:

MintedLamb · 28/08/2018 23:12

My daughter is in year 2, she always has her hair up for school but sometimes comes home with fantastic braids that the breakfast club supervisor does. She loves it, as do the other children who choose to have their hairs done.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 28/08/2018 23:22

Most schools request long hair to be tied back
Did they actually make a song and dance about not doing your child’s hair for you, or just tell you it needs to be tied back?

Mindchilder · 28/08/2018 23:25

What do you disagree with

Original poster

Robinche · 28/08/2018 23:28

I think this is heading into the usual disect every little thing a poster writes territory. Thank you everyone for all the insight, really helpful.
X

OP posts:

Talith · 28/08/2018 23:30

Why haven't you asked the staff, if you have concerns?

Notonthestairs · 28/08/2018 23:30

I know you are shutting this down but I really don't feel that this will impact on her adjusting to school (I've got two in juniors now so we've been through the process). But if it bothers you ask them to stop - you don't need to use school as a reason.

Dermymc · 28/08/2018 23:32

WTF school will have said "tie up long hair". Nursery are tying up the long hair in a way you don't like. You can solve this by tying up her hair and saying leave it alone, surely.

Talith · 28/08/2018 23:37

This really doesn't ring true. Staff at any legit nursery will say if they've done hair, no professional nusery would be vague, and also.hairstyles are the last thing a four year old will be worrying about when starting school. I've reported this.

leccybill · 28/08/2018 23:41

I think it's nice they do her hair.

But I would not be happy with a 4 year old colluding with nursery staff to 'not tell me' something.

PiggyPoos · 28/08/2018 23:44

DS used to come out with pig tails or a bunch in because his friends liked doing his hair

superram · 28/08/2018 23:48

Hairdressing was a valid play area in my kids nursery-they even had a banner/stand thing advertising it. Obviously the staff didn’t have the expertise of your nursery but my daughter would gave loved it if they had. They just had to murder the girls world... I would embrace it.

mellsi · 29/08/2018 00:14

I remember my sister coming home from preschool with a new hairstyle once which clearly done by another child. My mum turned to my sister and said that if she came home from preschool with a different hairstyle ever again then her hair would be shaved off, and she never let anyone touch her hair again at school. My mum used to do such tight braids on my hair that I had red bumps along my hairline, to prevent head lice. Both me and my sister had thick hair and my mum said that it would be chopped off if we ever got head lice, so we never undid our hair or let anyone play with it and we never got head lice!

I never let my dd’s have their hair down at school, as well as having their hair in Dutch braids, which has prevented any hairdressing games on their heads. I personally wouldn’t like my child coming home with different hairstyles, it would Irritate me.

LivLemler · 29/08/2018 05:23

I think the nursery hair and the school hair are two different things.

The staff at the nursery do the children's hair in elaborate styles in a kind of dress up way. The fun is in both getting it done and the result. It's a game. And it's nice of the staff to go to so much effort.

The school expects children with long hair to be sent in with it tied back securely for obvious practical reasons.

I feel like your comparing the hairstyles is like saying it's not fair of the nursery to let her play dressing up, because school will expect her to wear a uniform. They're different things.

PhilomenaButterfly · 29/08/2018 05:38

You're being weird. DD nearly 11 comes home with a different hairstyle every afternoon, her best friend is obviously a budding hairdresser. When she goes to their house, the friend's little sister tells DS2 that her hair's all over the house the next day! 😆

Limpshade · 29/08/2018 05:51

My DD has very unruly hair (think Art Garfunkel) and I really struggle to wield it into anything vaguely neat. And yet somehow she returns home at least once a week with the most spectacular halo braid. I don't know who is doing this or the methods they are using to pin her down but I think they must have magic hands!

Original poster

Robinche · 29/08/2018 06:44

I am glad I posted this quandary, it’s been interesting reading the different points of view on it. I think it’s fabulous that children do each other’s hair but this post is about a four yr old.
I’m not sure why some responses think my comments don’t ring true, or feel the need to “report this”, it’s just a discussion about whether people like nurseries doing elaborate up-do’s on their kids.
There isn’t a comparison between nursery and school hair. The point that’s been made is whether in the last few weeks of nursery, where emphasis is on preparing for the move/change to a school environment, is getting a four yr old used to having their hair dressed everyday appropriate.
It seems from the discussions that it won’t hurt. I hope that’s the case. And yes, there are definitely lots of differences for 4&5 yr olds to get used to that not being able to have hair done could be least of worries. I’m not new to moving a child from nursery care to the school environment, I know a bit about the challenged they face.
Getting hair done to this standard takes a lot of one on one with my daughter and I applaud this person for being able to do it. In a matter of weeks, she is going to be a small fish in a big pond in comparison and whereas I said before that I wasn’t sure why it bugged me, I now know why. It is not about hair, who plays with it, why etc. It’s about my feelings of leaving her to cope in that new environment where she is not going to have this kind of one on one attention.
I stand by my thoughts that I think the nursery could have eased of this kind of thing in the weeks leading up to that move. I also do not feel that I should have to point it out to them either. I do think emphasis at the nursery could be on managing the transition.

OP posts:

Mindchilder · 29/08/2018 08:26

Seriously? No, nursery aren't going to start providing less individual care or giving less attention to the children in order to prepare them for school!
If anything you should let your child enjoy the 1:1 time now.

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