Help me soothe (or learn to cope with) 3MO's screaming

[thiskitten]

My 3 month old screams every day solidly from from about 4pm - 7pm.. In general she is healthy and happy and is a total ray of sunshine until around 4pm. She is exclusively BFed.
Every day since she was about a month old she has done this. Nothing will soothe her other than holding her across my arms like in that viral video but I can't do this for 2 hours solidly. I have a toddler too.
I feel like I have tried everything. I try to feed her - she screams. I put her in the sling and walk with her- she screams. I've walked for 6 hours (with feeding breaks) in an effort to get her to sleep - makes no difference. Long walks in pram -screams. attempt to BF to sleep in bed - screams, screams screams. I try to cuddle her but it doesn't seem to help at all and her scream is ear so piercingly loud it's definitely damaging my hearing (and my mental state).
I can usually cope with an hour or so of it but after a couple of hours I feel like putting my head in door and repeatedly slamming it on my head. I try to stay calm but after a while it gets to my toddler and he starts screaming with a headache from it too.
My mum came to stay last week and was really shocked by how unrelenting it is.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense - I'm 2 hours deep into being screamed at constantly.
Any tips gratefully received

God I had one of these. Used to call it "the witching hour/ three hours". My MIL was amazed and said she had never seen anything like it
What helped me...

1. baby is not screaming "at you". Do not take it personally. It is just what she does.
2. getting help with the toddler so I only had one problem at a time. I had to pay someone so I could alternate bf baby and walk up and down the road with her in her sling. I just used to do 30mins of each as neither magically "worked", it was just about getting through the evening (sorry). I also used to beg DH to come home from work early.
3. ear plugs (only works with item 2) Also remember that if you are getting to the stage of fantasising about slamming doors on your own head, just pop her safely in her cot. She may not enjoy 10 minutes of howling on her own while you do deep breaths outside, but nor will it cause her appalling harm either. It can stop a very stressed mother from going utterly bananas. Remember... It's just a phase.

I will second the earplugs - my daughter could scream for hours and always wanted to be held close.
Took the edge off it just enough for me to battle through.

Maybe some wine too.

Does she have colic?

Have you tried colief, gripe water etc?

Warm bath for distraction?

Swaddling?

Sorry if you have tried all this already.

We had that phase. I'm sure we wore a pathway in our carpet marching round the living room. Rocking, singing nursery rhymes, never ever sitting down. Our torture went from 6 ish to gone 10. Every single night. Nothing really helped but by six months it was totally totally finished. The memories of it still make me shudder so you have my full sympathy. The dreaded colic.

I had one of these too. Nobody really understands, which was the worst of it ... all anyone does is make stupid suggestions (because obviously you haven't thought to try shushing/rocking/walking/white noise etc etc when your baby shrieks for hours on end ) and tell you they'll grow out of it soon (yesterday wouldn't be soon enough).

How did I cope? Tbh I don't think I did. It turns out in my case that I had massive oversupply which meant I gave my babies sore guts, so if she's farty and bloated and has loads of green nappies, plus gains weight like a trooper, I'd find yourself an IBCLC. Wish I'd found one with my first but it wasn't until my second went the same way and the GP referred me that I got something more useful than a sympathetic head-tilt.

I tried everything, all I can say is keep trying things and put her down in the cot and shut the door while you make yourself a cuppa and breathe a bit if you need to, as often as you need to. It's utterly shit but you can get through this. My screamer is now (and I've no idea how this happened) a cool, laconic eleven-year-old and has been the most placid and charming child.

I remember this. It's normal often through over stimulation, it will pass

It sounds like Colic. Ask your doctor/Health Visitor/pharmacist for advice. Buy gripe water, give your baby that. Massage baby's tummy, try warm baths at that time.

I knew a baby that did this. Spent lots of time with him so got a chance to experiment without the stress of it being my own. Eventually stumbled on something that worked after weeks of trying all sorts.

So I’d sit down with him which of course would send him even more wild because babies seem to bloody hate you sitting down (why?). Then I’d do the exact opposite of what you feel you need to do like jiggle, rapid pat etc. So I’d just sit there but I’d try really hard to consentrate on slowing my breathing right down, trying to rid myself of any adrenaline that the crying was causing within me. I’d just go completely zen like (I’m not at all zen usually) really try to zone out and concentrate on my breathing ( they need to be on you to feel the calm breathing) and it bloody worked - everytime in the end! First few minutes they are raging but then it’s like they just give up. You carry on sitting there long after they’ve given up until you’re over the “shit, it’s bloody worked. They either fall asleep or you wait and wait and wait until you know you can just get up like non of it ever happened.

I never got a chance to try this on another baby because mine wasn’t a crier (hideous sleeper though) so do report back if you give it a crack. Maybe it was just that one?

Sorry, forgot abit. I did pat but really really slow. One every 5-7 seconds trailing off less and less. I saw that on a baby whisper program when I was a teenager, which is prob why I added that. She said patting Is done in a manic way by most people and that it should be done slowly as waiting for the pat (the Anticipation) draws the attention away from the upset.

Sorry one more thing 🙈 it was really deep (slow breathing) so that your chest really moves up and down with longer exhales than inhales. I got made to breathe like that at a hypnotherapist once which I guess is where that came from.

Does she have colic?? Have you tried dentinox or Colief. Our DS had colic and it is relentless, the only reason I ask about colic as the screaming is the same time each day. Our son was between 5 and 7. Holding upright after feed and colic relief med.

If it's not colic then A warm bath would be good for distraction and relaxation, someone used to say to us to put the washing machine on as they like the swooshing noise, we never did that but you could always give it a go

Thanks guys! DH is off work this week so it's been a lot better. Plus we are moving house so are eating all the meals I froze in anticipation of her birth so I haven't had to cook in ages which has definitely helped! I shouldn't take pleasure in it but DH has now experienced the full force of "the witching hourS"
Have tried all the suggestions at some point apart from the zen-state one. Will try it as I'm sure she senses my anxiety and stress.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one to wear earplugs. She's just SO crazily LOUD!
@BathmatOfDoom think I could well have over supply as I did with my 1st child. Baby is indeed gaining weight like a trooper. What do I need to do to slow things down? What was that acronym you suggested? A lactation consultant?

In my case I actually had to express a little before every feed (I know, I protested too, seemed totally counterproductive) just to reduce the amount of lactose-rich foremilk and increase the proportion of the feed which was rich and fatty. Took a couple of weeks to settle down but really helped - I would definitely recommend only doing this with professional guidance tough because essentially you're reducing your supply - IBCLC is International Board Certified Lactational Consultant, proper boob boffins who are really highly trained and know how to do this stuff safely.