Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

would this offend you?

59 replies

dontgetmestarted · 01/06/2007 21:56

i apologise now-this is a long thread
my daughter's 6th party is in a few weeks and she's invited practically the whole class.
my dilemma is that with that many kids, she's bound to get loads of presents that she wouldn't really play with and will just get forgotton and/or broken and tbh the kids have so many toys anyway.
we're also going through a stage at the moment where she expects to have brought for her everything she wants.
so would it be seen as rude to ask for money instead so she can start learning about budgeting and the value of things.

personally,i'd have no problem with being asked this but i'd like to know how others feel before i ofend anyone.
(dd loves getting money as presents so she can buy her own things so this wouldn't be depriving her of a "proper" present.)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
mummytosteven · 01/06/2007 21:57

I wouldn't like to be asked for money I'm afraid.

flowertot · 01/06/2007 21:58

At 6 years old I think its a bit rude to be honest.

binkleandflip · 01/06/2007 21:58

I'm not sure that it's appropriate to ask for money for a 6 year old. From family perhaps, but not school friends.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
Beauregard · 01/06/2007 21:59

Sorry but it is rude.

newlifenewname · 01/06/2007 21:59

I'd state on the invites 'no presents please just bring lots of fun and smiles'.

That might also clear up the problem of her materialistic expectations that you mention.

morningpaper · 01/06/2007 21:59

Bit rude at 6, I agree

Have a big toy clear-out afterwards

Boredveryverybored · 01/06/2007 21:59

Sorry but I'd think it rude too. If you're worried about her getting too much and expecting too much I'd ask for no presents at all tbh.

myermay · 01/06/2007 21:59

Message withdrawn

chacha3 · 01/06/2007 21:59

i woouldnt mind would rather the child put the money i gave them towards something nice! rather than me buy something that wouldnt get used then i would feel like i was wasting money!!

Snaf · 01/06/2007 21:59

From family it's okay. From school-friends, definite no-no, imo.

snowwonder · 01/06/2007 22:00

it wouldnt offend me

but my daughter likes to carry the pressie to give etc and a card with money wouldnt be the same
i dont like the girls getting money from there friends as to me it looks like they couldnt be bothered top think of something nice to buy

just keep what she doesnt want and use them for pressies for others..

SlightlyMadSlug · 01/06/2007 22:00

Hmm I personally wouldn't ask for money from friends - family yes but friends no.

Having said that I probably wouldn't mind being asked for money if it was phrased properly. e.g.

"DD is currently saving up for [something reasonably priced so as not to frightne them with value]. If you are struggling with ideas for a present she would be happy to receive cash/gift vouchers for [specific shop] to put towards this".

Tiggerish · 01/06/2007 22:00

I agree with the others - i feel it would be a bit rude.

RedFraggle · 01/06/2007 22:00

I wouldn't want to be asked for money either, I like to get my DD involved in picking the present for her friend. Money is so impersonal

2boysmacca · 01/06/2007 22:00

Money is always difficult, always poses the question, 'how much should I give' and inevitably feel you're being mean. I wouldn't like it, sorry!

Earlybird · 01/06/2007 22:01

I often ask the mum of the birthday child for gift ideas so I don't duplicate something the child already has. Can you think of some ideas for gift suggestions? That's the closest I'd come to 'dictating' what others should get your dd....I would never ask for money.

SlightlyMadSlug · 01/06/2007 22:01

Having said that I don't know how DTDs would feel - not being able to go out and select a suitable piece of tat!!!

Flame · 01/06/2007 22:01

Rude here too - and i'm not easily rudified

Desiderata · 01/06/2007 22:02

I wouldn't ask for money for her. She seems to have enough already (and God Bless, so does mine).

I think someone needs to break the mould with this endless partying that goes on with kids these days. My neighbour, whose son is six, reckons she spends £300 a year on birthday presents for classmates.

Ask for money for a charity instead.

Just a thought.

lisad123 · 01/06/2007 22:02

Nope sorry i hate giving money, it kinda feels like you cant give as much or little as you like. If you are worried about too many toys, maybe ask her to sort out as mnay old toys as she gets in new ones and give to local hospital or charity.
Lisa

Speccy · 01/06/2007 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Snaf · 01/06/2007 22:03

I think a pile of useless, cheapo presents is par for the course with birthday parties, isn't it?

She could sell them on Ebay and then use the money to buy something she really wants?

hjscho · 01/06/2007 22:03

I'm with Newname...surely no presents would solve the materialistic attitude. It all gets a bit ridiculous with presents these days, surely the aim of a party is that DD has fun with her friends and they also enjoy the fun.

GibbonInARibbon · 01/06/2007 22:05

bad form IMO

sorry

zookeeper · 01/06/2007 22:05

yes it would - how much would you expect someone to give?

Six year olds love their crappy presents

Swipe left for the next trending thread