Cafcass s7 report, mothering, argh

[Nonmotherof3]

....our section 7 report came back. As expected it's very disparaging of the kids mother. Incredibly so in fact. It basically says she is (actual words) manipulative, dishonest, and emotionally abusive. It suggests the kids live with us and states the only overnight contact should be in a minimum of a years time, and supervised.

Is it strange to be really REALLY sad about that? I feel like We have been on some sort of wave and at times have questioned if because of emotion she really was as bad as we thought she was. Turns out ours was the most positive statement as the social workers in 3 counties said pretty much identical conclusions.

As mothers ( real ones unlike me who is just frankly winging it) how could you let it get that bad? She has tested positive for drugs but minimally....so it's not like she is a massive addict? I just don't get how she could be so bad?

Contrary to what’s said most people don’t set out to be bad parent
But some people have never seen good parenting,experienced +ve regard
They simply don’t have the practical or emotional wherewithal to parent bad circumstances,compounded by poor choices,substance misuse,poor education,poor nutrition all these factors add to a toxic mix
And there’s those who make chaotic choices and prioritise themselves before the child
The role of the professionals is to intervene for the child,safeguard and prioritise the child needs

People tend to parent how they were parented because they don't know any other way. That's usually what it comes down to