Parents of older children/teens/young adults...

[LumiereLennie]

I’m feeling weepy and hormonal that DS is going to be six in September and is growing up and away from me... Trying to explain to a lovely but highly pragmatic DH that I will miss all his little boyisms as he grows and that he will want/need me less.

DH’s view is that these will be replaced with nice ‘older’ things IYSWIM so I won’t miss them so much, but I can’t really think what those might be. So, what alternatives will I have for cuddles on my knee when he’s sad/tired, or him singing my little songs he’s made up? Cheer me up that it won’t just all be grunts and girlfriends...

So much of the above (special mention to medusa re slipping through my fingers:( ) One minute they are tiny and then you blink and they are on tiptoe trying to prove they are almost practically nearly your height.
I went out tonight. My first night out in EVER. She (12) agonized in shops with me, cuddled me when I cried because nothing fit, helped me find an outfit and poured me a glass of wine because : mum, chill! And then, best of all.. didn't want a babysitter, texted me hourly so I knew house hadn't burnt down/murderers hadn't broken in etc. It is so lovely, differently lovely. And you want to murder them differently. But fuck mine's awesome!!

I am loving having older teens!
Going to gigs with them (DC1 is in a band).
Sharing favourite films & the resulting jokes (Spinal Tap, Rocky Horror, Pulp Fiction).
Great weekends away for Uni open days.
Sensible conversations.
Sharing a bottle of something suitable over a dinner we've cooked together.
Enjoying the company of their friends.
"How was your day?" has interesting answers.

I just love it!

I’m presuming none of you are woken up at 6.15 with ‘Mummy, will you play with me...?”

When my dd, who's 22, I am quite likely to be woken up with a cup of tea and a stage whisper "are you awake? Do you want to chat"?

I agree with almost everything everyone else had said.
The pride in all their achievements, whether it's getting 10/10 on a test, learning to ride a bike or getting their Master's degree. Each one completely amazing. And knowing they want to share their achievements with you.
When they choose to come and spend Christmas Day with you, even though you've (honestly) said you'll understand if they want to spend it alone with their partner, or with partner's parents.
The all encompassing love that consumes you when he phones and says 'hello grandma - it's a boy! '
Honestly, believe it or not, the best is yet to come.

I know what you are saying because they are little and adorable.
We have a 12 year old and I have loved every year of his life.
Time really goes by too quickly. It is a bit sad but so enjoyable.
DS makes me laugh all the time. He is such a great companion.
I do dread him being more independent and seeing him less but that's life.
I'll love to have a 6 year old.

I used to feel sad looking ahead, knowing that they would be off living their own lives.

Now DC are mid-20s, both living in London, and are still very much part of our lives. DD often phones me in the morning as she's walking to the bus, and DS phones when he walking home from the tube.

We plan to do things in London, and they will nearly always want to join us. They also love coming home - although that's probably more to see the dog than us!

Things change, life moves on, but it's still good.

My DDs are teens and I'm loving it so much more than the little years.

Cups of tea made for me.

Dinner made as I get in from work (they both cook one night a week).

First class IT support 24/7.

When I'm going out/out they do my make up and it's flawless.

All of us singing along like maniacs in the car to Mamma Mia soundtrack, while DD feeds me McDs chips.

They get sarcasm and irony. Big time.

Going shopping and stopping for coffee & cake.

Being able to share books and intelligently discuss them afterwards.

I haven't loaded/unloaded the dishwasher in years.

Being introduced to new music, much of which I genuinely enjoy.

I'm very lucky in that both DDs are still affectionate and still seem happy to spend a bit of time with me.

I’m presuming none of you are woken up at 6.15 with ‘Mummy, will you play with me...?”

No, though being woken up at 5am as they stumble in from being out the night before does occasionally happen

I do love getting my lie ins back.

My dd at university.

Still comes home with washing and expects Sunday dinner no matter what the day.

My ds. Armed services. In the arse end of I don't know where.

He loves it.

They are both happy and healthy.

I am so proud of them.

They still bicker over who gets the "burnt" bit of the crumble.

They are really good people (not biased at all)

Oh yes the IT support I forgot about that one!

At 5’ 10” I suspect I won’t be a ‘little mum’

I am a 5'10" "little mum". They all (both sexes) stand around me sometimes to tell me my roots need touching up and to eat up my greens so I'll grown taller

All 20s, not noticed a dislike of hugs creeping in although there were stages where said hugs were preferred without the audience of peers.

I’m presuming none of you are woken up at 6.15 with ‘Mummy, will you play with me...?”

No but to be fair I do sometimes get woken up at 1 am with " Mum is it ok if I use dads charger?" (Dad sleeps so heavy early on they know not to try him in the morning they wake up dad as I sleep heavy at that point)

Woken up before 6 most mornings by Ds2 shoving my glasses on my face.

Ds is 11 so I’m just at the start of this but it’s really nice seeing the kind of person he’s becoming - like when he cried watching a documentary recently because he really understood and empathised with the people on it. Sounds stupid but it made me well up a bit because he is genuinely very empathetic and kind hearted. I know maybe a lot of people say that but he is really a gentle soul although he’d deny it. More so than for example his wee sister who is very lovely in her own right but just generally not quite as sensitive!

Also when he was little he was really really shy with adults. In the past few months he’s often made conversation with people we’ve had to visit etc and done it on his own iNiative and made interesting comments. A few people have remarked on how polite and well mannered he is too :)

It’s always nice him telling me something I didn’t know which is quite often if it’s about football, Star Wars, history or geography!

Also in the interests of balance he drives me round the bend at times with his disorganisation and mood swings!

I actually feel like he’s come back to me recently if that makes sense? Between about 7-9/10 I felt like I’d lost who he was a bit because he just didn’t seem relaxed with being who he is if that makes sense?

Also if it’s any consolation he’s FINALLY learned the art of a lie in. His sister has not and this week I’ve been woken at 6ish by

‘Mummy I’ve stood in cat sick’ (and walked the length of the house to tell you)
‘Mummy where’s Barbies other purple shoe’
‘Mummy I’m hungry’
‘Mummy I can’t sleep’
‘Mummy can I wake (brother) up?’