Pregnant and scared.

[tulip27]

I have a two and half year old son and a one and half year old duaghter. I thought our family was complete but have just discovered I am pregnant again despite using condoms.
I have really found the last two years hard with PND and was looking forward to life moving on, going back yto work etc and now I don't know what to do.
Thing is I have been broody for a while but my head has always said no, I find my two children cuch hard work. My husband said he doesn't want more but will support me if I keep it.
I feel like I cant talk to anyone I know about it , can anyone help me?

what number is this that your cooking domestic grumpess?

Tulip27, I just wanted to send some more positive support your way. I'm cooking number 4, and I found going from 1 to 2 really hard, 2 to 3 much easier. Mine are all close and I found that the older two played together whilst the baby slept, giving me a couple of hours to myself every day. The key, for me anyway, is to be organised. They all play together, get on really well and it just works. I had PND too after my DD (no. 3) which was pretty horrid, but we got through it.

I suppose your DH could still be in shock. Don't forget you've had a bit more time to get your head around it, and have been through the rollercoaster, he's just started on it. Of the people I've known who have been in similar positions, husbands have always come round and loved their third regardless.

3 is a lovely number to have. It really does work IME xx

Tulip, your child is no more likely to be disabled than any one else's.

You CAN do this. There will be support for you, from all sorts of sources. Be strong.
Dh is both morally and legally obliged to support your baby, financially at least.

If your dh is a dr then he knows the risks of sex, and that contraception always has a failure rate. I don't think he is being fair to you. YOU have done nothing wrong, the wine will have made no difference (he should probably know that, too) and I'm just so sorry you don't have the support you should have.

Do you have someone IRL to talk to? I hope you can take your time to make a decision you can live with.

I must have conceived sprog2 in November/December time 1999, drank like a FISH over that Christmas and Millenium. I think I might have been on the pill was definately on antibiotics (hence pill not working) and was also phasing myself off Seroxat (now discovered to have lots of health scares associated). Sprog2 is absolutely fine. Sprog1, didn't do much naughty, etc during preganany, has asperger's syndrome which undoubtably is genetic. To be honest, in France, your alcohol consumption would be considered fine and I think this is just hubby coming up with that man thing they do (sorry chaps) of thinking of excuses and sticking head into sand. You are clearly VERY concerned about the alcohol thing harming the baby which means to me that you are already attached to the idea of having it. You mightsuffer PND after you give birth again (absolute sympathy - have had depression and would not wish it on worse enemy)but at least it can be planned for and its depression for a 'positive' reason - ie, something that you cannot and could not help because its chemical and due to having the baby. And you might not have PND this time round. Whereas, if you terminiate you could well suffer depression due again to chemicals (your body thinks you've had the baby) and your own mental state. Would you also resent your hubby because essentially its really been his lack of support that would make you terminate and then would your relationship be at risk. Really sorry, lots of what iffs.

Its a horrible situation and three young kids together will be hard work but they will then always be of an age to play together and I have found that when sprog2 got to 5 things got so much easier. My friend has 6 kids and was a single mum for quite some time. She said that 2 was hard and then the rest didn't make that much difference!!!

I retrained as a teacher when sprog1 was 9 months - it took 18 months with the OU. at that time trainee teachers didn't get paid but I believe they do now. Teaching isn't ideal with kids (what is) but at least you get school hols and there are no shifts.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

Hi Tulip, just bumping this, wondered how you were getting on.