AIBU - finding condoms - DS13

[JimWilsonBell]

AIBU - it's not really the finding of the condoms in DS (13) bedroom it's the SO (not his father) reaction "we can't say anything we need to give him privacy!"

Background- SO and I have been together for 5years. We had very different childhoods and he doesn't have children. I have DD(20) and DS(13) I have ALWAYS been super open with my kids, we talk about everything and anything!

DS doesn't have a GF and is very immature but nearly 6ft. And obviously I'm going to say something so he knows that a, I know b, he can talk about stuff c, we can open dialogue about relationships, respect in sexual relationships etc and d, you are too young DUDE!!

I'm quite strict on sexual relationships for many reasons, my past, my childhood and the law!!

But how do I tackle this with SO?

He may have been given them at school during a sex education lesson, don't jump to conclusions that he is sexually active.

I used to get them when i was at school and do balloon animals...

You should talk to him, you're his mother and ultimately it's up to you how you parent him. saying nothing rarely helps, as long as you approach it sensitively as I'm sure you would then it would best to speak to him.
He's 13 not 23 so there's only a certain level of privacy you can give him.

You don't? It's none of your boyfriends business how you parent your children.
As a side note, and as a pp says, your son likely got the condoms from sex Ed or something, he's the right age. Still have 'the chat' of course, but don't stress too much.

Captain - they're ribbed!!

Yes there's a range of ones to experiment with we used to have flavoured ones too.

You don't end of. Surely If you do without SOs knowledge or input it shouldn't matter.

It should always be the same conversation, stay safe, respect anyone you are with, don't rush things and remind him of the law and consequences.

How would any parent conversation be different?

He's 13 - be firm but gentle and tell him to talk to you about anything. That way you help build the foundations of him always coming to you for help.

I'm defo going to talk to him. I'm glad we've found them. I'm just slightly shocked at SO reaction?!!? Surely he should know me and my kids by now. It puzzles me!!

He's 13, obviously you are going to do it in a way that respects his privacy.

Were they well hidden???

Just because he's got condoms doesn't mean he'll be using them anytime soon! But
I would have thought a talk would be in order but your his parent not your SO, you'll need to step up (as you would've if you were a single parent) if his stepdad isn't willing to have the talk. where is his father?

Not really well hidden. His sunglasses box on the windowsill.

His dad and I have a 50/50 arrangement BUT he is just awfully awkward in these situations!! I will tell him, when DS isn't at his for the weekend. That way he can think about it before he talks to him about it.

SO is stressing about friends coming later and he's hell bent on cleaning the whole house, so now is not the best time to chat to him. Going to say that I'm obviously going to talk about them and then open the dialogue about relationships, respect etc.

You don't need to chat to your SO.

If DH has a word like this and I'm not there or discussed before hand. Honestly i would happy.

Good luck x

So it went something like this........DS and EX-H pops in to collect something.
I'm slightly smirking, DS "why you smirking Mumma?" Me "Well if I'm honest I found something in your bedroom" and giggled. DS "oh GOD the condoms!" Me "How did you guess?" DS "I was waiting for you to find them!" Me "why?" DS "well it's a long story but basically "friend" wanted to buy some for a laugh from the £ shop, he chickened out of buying them so I did!" Me "you are well aware that you are way too young and not in any form of relationship; have you had your first kiss?" DS "omg mumma, NO....ewwww! Did you actually worry about this?" Me "well kinda....." through all of this my ex-h stood there awkwardly and mumbled something about "condoms....13.....no GF" so that went well!

😂 well done OP!!!