When did you have baby no.2?

[Newmum102]

Exactly as the title suggests, when did you have baby no.2? How old was your first one?

LO is a few weeks from 1, just trying to figure out when to start trying for no.2. I’ve always wanted 2 close in age, but the thought of 2 under 2 scares me, is it really that much more difficult?

first was 2.5 when 2nd was born, so not relevant to your question i guess.

No useful input but I'm so glad you posted this! I'm in exactly the same situation thinking about this now.

Mine are 13months apart (19mths and 6mths currently), we didn't 'try' for the 2nd as such so can't speak to that but can about having 2 under 2!

My dd will be 3 1/2 when dc2 is born. I definitely didn’t feel ready before that. I will be honest and say my friends that went for 2 under 2 put me off. They really really struggled.

First gap 18mths, second gap 15mths. Third gap 24 mths. I love that they are close in age by my God they are a lot of work. I could do 2 kids of any age gap in my sleep now.

4 years & 2 days after the first.
(Managed to fit in a divorce & remarriage in the gap.)

Started trying for dc2 the month that dc1 turned one and got pregnant first cycle, due in September so will have 21 month gap. Would ideally have left it a bit longer but I'm 40 next year and I didn't want a higher risk box ticked in my maternity notes (also wasn't banking on it being so quick! But relieved that it was)

Do you find it hard to balance 2 under 2?

Sorry posted to soon. For those who do have 2 under 2, do you wish you waited?

4.5 years between first and second, 12 months between second and third. Two under two is much, much more difficult compared to my larger gap but now they have turned 1 & 2 it is lovely to see their relationship develop

18 months between mine and I'm 5 weeks in - it's pretty shit. People I know have 2.5 years and 3 years between theirs and both seem to be doing a lot better than me! 2-3 years probably increases the risk of jealousy but means the older one is more likely to have some more independence and understanding, so there's pros and cons in both.

3 years later. Worked nicely for us

We have 21 months between 1 and 2 and, all being well, will have 23 months between 2 and 3.

I think a 2-2.5 year gap is pretty common, especially with most of the mums I've met since having a baby. I think it's easier to stay in the baby / toddler phase and get it all out the way in one sweep. I think a bigger gap would be much harder - you'll be used to having more time and sleep again when the newborn chaos starts all over.

There have been times when it's been hard but that's largely down to the fact that DD2 is an awful sleeper and the sleep deprivation has left me with little patience.

Who knows how I'll manage with 3 under 4!!!

DS1 will be exactly 2.5 (30 months) when DS2 arrives later this summer. Wouldn't have wanted it much closer as DS1 still pretty dependent on me, but he's also grown up SO much the last couple of months and by the time baby gets here I think will be a really good gap for getting him to feel like he can help with things etc.

Twelve months between my two - currently four months and sixteen months. Overall it's ok. It is very busy but I just ride with it and juggle as best I can. It's actually not half as hard as I thought it would be.

I've been lucky enough to build a strong support network of friends and keep my expectations very low. I only ever aim to empty the dishwasher and put on a load of washing sometimes the same load gets washed three days in a row . I've also baby proofed to the max.

Ds1 was 23months when Ds2 was born. I would have had them closer but didn't ovulate until I stopped breastfeeding altogether. 2you and newborn was absolutely fine. I could get them both to have a 2hr nap in the day. Newborn just lay wherever I left him asleep. Or carried in a sling. 1you and 3yo was a lot harder. 4yo and 2yo is so much fun. They play together, we're out of babyproofing stage. Love it. I want another but dh doesn't.

18 month difference here..it was a bit tough to start with mainly because my DD was a total sleep dodger but actually now at 3 and 18 months they already play fight together and are great friends. They enjoy the same things too.

We have a little one who's nearly 3. We want a 5 year age gap roughly.

DD1 was 5 years and 10 months when DD2 was born. They are 6 and 3.5 months now, I would have preferred a 3 year gap but this age gap has worked out nicely too.

We had our 2nd when first was 5 and in reception. It’s been amazing! So ridiculously easy compared to friends’ experiences with smaller age gaps. Our 1st could understand what was happening and was excited. We had a good year and a half of full nights of sleep and a few nights/weekends away while she stayed with grandparents first. It’s been a wonderful transition. I got loads of time with her, but now that she’s in school I get full days with ds too. And I’m home on mat leave while she’s still little and doesn’t have any after school clubs, etc. so I get to do the school run every day until I have to go back to work. It’s been great and I couldn’t have done it before 4 at the earliest. So don’t feel like you need to rush if you aren’t sure you’re ready. I had my first at 32 and second at 37, so you likely still have plenty of time. Definitely now that I’m doing it (ds is my 2nd and last) I realise how much I’m enjoying it because we had plenty of time just to be ready and make the most of it and I am so glad we waited as long as we did.

I had my coil removed to ttc the week after DSs 1st birthday thinking it could take six months to conceive, and fell pregnant the month after, so a 21 month gap which was hard.
DS and DD were 7 and 5 when DS2 arrived, conceived with a coil in place ! The hardest part was having to be up and organised for the school run instead of slobbing around taking the morning slowly if I'd had a bad night with the baby. But a lot easier generally with older kids, although the boys were 7 years apart so nothing in common til they reached their twenties. When they were around 15 and 8 it was permanent warfare, awful.

17 months between my two, no.2 was a total shock so didn't get a say in the age gap. It was really really tough for the first year. You have two babies but at different stages but effectively two babies, both in nappies, both demanding, both needy, both wanting you to themselves all the time, neither able to feed/wash/dress themselves. Unless you have a really strong desire for a small age gap and plenty of support I would recommend a bigger gap just for your sanity. I would often go days without a shower or cleaning my teeth because I could never get them to sleep at the same time and they seemed to take it in turn to be up most of the night.

DS1 was 14 months when DD1 was born.

DS1 decided he couldn't feed himself anymore, so I'd be bfing one and spoonfeeding the other.