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Original poster

When did you have baby no.2?

59 replies

Newmum102 · 29/05/2018 08:16

Exactly as the title suggests, when did you have baby no.2? How old was your first one?

LO is a few weeks from 1, just trying to figure out when to start trying for no.2. I’ve always wanted 2 close in age, but the thought of 2 under 2 scares me, is it really that much more difficult?

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TheGrumpySquirrel · 29/05/2018 21:55

13 years later Grin

I am now expecting number 2 but I've had a very nice life for the last 10yrs Wink

I'd like a third when second is around 4-5yrs old, makes so much difference when they can dress themselves, follow instructions etc

Couldn't cope with 2 small ones

riddles26 · 29/05/2018 21:59

I'm due no2 and all being well, will have 23 months between the 2. We never used contraception after the first but my periods didn't return until I stopped breastfeeding - although some still manage to conceive in these cases, I was pretty certain I wouldn't (and completely correct!)

Early pregnancy with a 15 month old has been tough and I'm expecting it to get even tougher when baby comes. But I'm looking forward to them growing up close in age and having similar interests in a few years.

Friends with a small age gap had it really tough to start with but it's gotten heaps easier as they grew up close in age.
Those with larger age gaps enjoyed the newborn phase of no2 so much more but then found it difficult to please a toddler and an older child simultaneously. Both have positives and negatives, just go with what feels right for you.

Choccablock · 29/05/2018 21:59

I think it depends on what 'type' of baby you get.

Mine are 16 months apart (currently DS1 17 month and my DS2 is 5 weeks)

So far it's been ok at home where I can control things. But going to the park alone when breastfeeding is just impossible. DS1 runs off and doesn't understand when I ask him to stay close to me!
Also, two in nappies is hard. I think a 20-24 month age gap would be better

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GrumpyBagFace · 29/05/2018 22:23

15 month gap. They're 1 & 2 now.

I love it. It's wonderful. Watching them play together is the highlight of my days. They chat together, "read" books together, they're in cahoots and cause chaos!

Ancientmummyofwooooos · 29/05/2018 22:35

Dd born 2002, ds1 born 2011 and ds2 born 2012, so had both a large gap and a 12 month one, large gap was lovely but had me stressing about going through the baby stage all over again, small gap was much easier and meant ds1 and ds2 have ready made playmate on hand. Unless its a fighty sort of day, then its trying to seperately entertain them both- my friend had 2 year gaps between her three, and it was a lovely manageable gap.

Whenwillwe3meetagain · 29/05/2018 22:41

DS was two months away from 3 when DS2 arrived and I love the gap. Two under two held no attraction! A friend has just had her third and her second is 14 months. She whinges each time I see her about the small age gap etc....getting tiresome!

Floridasunset · 30/05/2018 14:31

I had a 15 month gap between my first 2 and I am expecting number 3. There will be 12 months between 2 and 3. I love the small age gap and they adore each other.

Hideandgo · 30/05/2018 16:23

Florida, talk to you in 3 yrs time.

The fighting. Holy God the fighting.

chloechloe · 30/05/2018 20:45

choccablock - when my baby needing BFing I used to bribe the older one with snacks so she'd come and sit on the bench next to me rather than climbing somewhere dangerous!

Floridasunset · 30/05/2018 20:59

hideandgo I'm in denial that they're going to get older and start fighting. In my head they will remain cute and just want to cuddle each other BlushGrin

TallulahWaitingInTheRain · 30/05/2018 21:01

18 months. I won't lie, the first year was bloody exhausting but I don't regret it at all. They are great friends, interested in all the same stuff and bugger off and play together so I can put my feet up.

InDubiousBattle · 30/05/2018 21:08

19 months between my two. First few months were hard but I love the small ish age gap. The bickering has begun in earnest now they're 4.5 and almost 3 but they're very sweet too (for now!).

FourForYouGlenCoco · 30/05/2018 21:28

4 years between DC 1 and 2, 20 months between 2 and 3. Mine are now nearly 6, nearly 2 and 7 weeks. So far I’ve found exactly what riddles said - the baby stage with DC2 was an absolute breeze, and they do play together now, but as they get older it’s harder to find things they both enjoy. DC1 tends to get shortchanged a bit as we often can’t do the stuff she’d really like to do as DC2 would be a nightmare.

Obviously we’re only 7 weeks in with DC3 but so far it’s much more labour intensive than the bigger age gap was; somebody constantly needs a nappy doing, or a snack, or a feed, or whatever. But DC2 still naps a couple of hours a day, so that really helps in terms of getting stuff done, and DC3 is a much harder work baby - if she was more like DC2 (who was epically mellow and laid back) I’d be breezing it right now!

I’m hoping the hard work now will pay off down the line with them being more into the same things at same stages, but ultimately there’s pros and cons to every age gap. A smaller gap is harder but definitely survivable!

blinkineckmum · 30/05/2018 22:18

21 months. I think it's easier.

OhCheersForThat · 30/05/2018 22:24

I couldn’t even contemplate it until DC1’s baby stage was done and dusted. Started trying when he was 2.5 yrs, got pregnant straight away but had an early miscarriage. Got pregnant again very soon afterwards and DD was born 3 yrs 9 months after her brother.

It was a good gap for us.

doodlejump1980 · 30/05/2018 22:27

2nd came two minutes after the first!

bunnyrabbit93 · 30/05/2018 22:31

I had DD2 when DD1 had turned 3 a few weeks before. I love the gap in the sense that it's not too big but also DD1 enjoys helping and can follow instructions and is more careful towards the baby.
My sister and I have a 2 year gap and are very close so I didn't want a gap bigger than 5 years ideally

Mybabystolemysanity · 30/05/2018 22:40

34 weeks with no2 and DD is just 17 months. Have convinced myself it will be fine but have to confess to the odd fleeting moment of terror now it's getting close. Very encouraging to hear others with a small gap say first year is hard then it gets easier. Blessed with No1 being an excellent sleeper, so hoping no2 will be similar.

winterwonderly · 30/05/2018 22:42

Every age gap has its pros and cons and I think you just have to go with what you feel will work and hope for the best. We ended up with a 13 month age gap as my fertile years were rapidly running out and it's crazy some days but I love it. We can do as we please and have no school runs or after school clubs etc to worry about. Pregnancy second time round was rough and I'm glad that's now over and I'm not planning to go through it again! Sleep deprived newborn times are also over and we can focus more now on our lovely 2 children and enjoy them.

winterwonderly · 30/05/2018 22:45

Yes 2 under 2 can be difficult, but it's a breeze once you get to around 6 months in!

sunshineonarainyday321 · 30/05/2018 22:53

We have exactly 18 months between our 2. The youngest is the same age as your little one and we are starting to think about when we might have our third! (Not for a time was the conclusion!!!)

In terms of how difficult it has been, well yes it has been hard work having 2 under 2 for 6 months. Our eldest was still very much a baby when our second child arrived. It's now they are almost 1 and 2.5 I'm starting to see the benefits of such a small age gap, they've started to play together and we can see a bond beginning to form. Don't get me wrong it's still bloody hard work even now, but I think it would be whatever age gap you chose.

Luckystar1 · 31/05/2018 07:49

20 months between mine. DD was a very happy accident but DS was a very hard baby so I was exhausted going into the pregnancy and he was still very demanding throughout. DD was a poor sleeper and literally would not be put down but I wore her almost permanently in a sling and it was fine.

In honesty I found the newborn days easy with 2. But once she started moving (walking at 11 months, crawling at 6 months) it got a lot harder.

DS went through an awful stage at 2.5 years and it was hard to cope especially coupled with a still not sleeping baby (and unbeknownst to me, my husband having an affair but that’s entirely by the by!)

They are now almost 2 and 3.5 and it’s is getting a LOT easier. But there is still a lot of crying (them and me 😂) and fighting. But having got through almost 2 years I am definitely glad they are close.

It has been very, very hard work though. Juggling the demands of 2 very young children without family nearby has nearly broken me on more than one occasion but there seems to be a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

Yogagirl123 · 31/05/2018 08:01

Having them close in age is wonderful, hard work but I have no regrets at all in having a small gap.

I was pregnant went DS1 was 1 year old, and DS2 was born when DS1 was 21mths old so two under two!

They have always been great friends, they are teens now and still very close brothers.

Go for it OP.

AlwaysWantedToBeATenenbaum · 31/05/2018 08:27

My little boy will be 17 months at the start of July & my pill runs out halfway through July so we'll start trying from then! There's 2 years & 6 months between me & my sister so I'm hoping for something much the same 🤞🏻

FreshHerbs · 31/05/2018 08:31

M oldest are 10months apart. I found out I was pregnant when my daughter was 2months old. They are now 7 and 6 and every year go through a period of being the same age.