My dd really doesn't want to be potty trained.

[Carmenere]

She is 3.3 and refuses to use the toilet or potty, she will sit on the toilet but doesn't actually do anything. She does use the toilet occasioanally at pre-school and they said to send her in pants but I'm not convinced.

This morning we tried pants, sat her on the toilet for ages, asked her did she want to wee tons of times. She has just weed on the floor and asked to put on pull ups

Is there something basic I am missing here?

Anyone?

i had ds who took a great deal of coaxing pleading with anything to dowho would not even tolerate to wear pants...
BUT..once it became HIS idea..it was a breeze, i really cant tell you ..dont stress..cause it transfers i think..point out the numerous benefits rewards chocolate...so proud of you..etc the easyness of pants ...and ....wait and wait til the penny drops and she spends one!

imho it will happen when they are ready but no comfort to you at this point i know....

hth..

My ds took ages - he was just very stubborn!

you have 2 choices

try to go the scandinavian way and think that she'll do it on her own .. in which case you may well have a 5 year old still in nappies .. but she will grow out of them eventually

potty train .. in which case you have to steel yourself to accidents and just get rid of nappies totally (apart from nighttime)

she's old enough to have the bodily functions explained to her and to respond to a reward system

Do you take her swimming? Because when ds1 was pooing himself all the time, the one thing that persuaded him to make the effort was saying "When you have kept your pants clean and dry for 5 days, we will go swimming, just you and me! But you can't go if you are still wet and pooing in pants."

I hardly ever take him so it is a BIG treat.

No that is a help, I was just worried in case I was remiss in doing something. I am happy to let her decide tbh I just don't want to make a huge issue out of it and emotionally scar her.

Oh the swimming thing might be a good incentive as she loves it....

Ive put this before, but found in 26 years of CM it works fairly well.

POTTY TRAINING

Day 1 - 3 no clothes, ask if they want the potty, at least every 1/2 hour. Expect lots of accidents.

Day 4-7 Providing child is now making it to the potty, pants on, still reminding, first couple of days will result in wet pants, but by day 7, usually making it to the potty.

Day 7 onwards trousers on as well, still asking often, take potty EVERYWHERE with you.

If this doesn't work, would say the child isn't ready. Have done it with children from 20 months - 4 years, they are ready when they are ready, boys in general are later than girls, but saying that just had a boy dry at 22 months and a girl not till almost 4. !

Yes colditz - I found that if I took ds out for the day somewhere really special he would stay dry!

I would wait until it gets warmer and she's in fewer clothes and outside more if you're going to make a concerted effort. The incentive idea is a good one if only to find out whether she's not ready or just can't be bothered.

Having been hugely stressy about it all with ds, I'm planning to let dd get on with it at her leisure.

Wait until she chooses to do it. I waited with ds and dd and they only had one accident each - bliss compared to the washing of clothes and floors that my friends went through!