Punishment for 12 yr old dd

[firehousedog]

Our 12 yr old dd has been really off lately being generally rude. Today my sister in law was rude to my sister. Trying to think of suitable punishment for her? Already changed the wifi code and confiscated her mobile but we've done this before and it seems to have little or not effect.

Bit confused by your post. Does your DD 12 think its ok to be rude if everyone else is around her such as your sister-in-law.

How about finding out why she was rude?

Does she accept she was rude and understand why that is not acceptable?

Asking teens what they think the appropriate punishment should be for the deed can be interesting. Sometimes they suggest far harsher consequences than I had in mind.

So your dd is surrounded by rude people?

She was rude to my sister. My sister said she would pick her up from her evening hockey club after school next week and dd was really unappreciative and remarked she didn't ask her to pick her up. I know its not the end of the world and is more probably down to hormones but its a long running theme now. She is not surrounded by rude people, at least at home anyway.

Sounds like she made a smart arse snippy comment. For that I’d sit and have a chat with her about how people are trying to help her and how your sister has no obligation to do XYZ for her and if she’s ungrateful she may find it won’t be offered again. I’d then ask her to apologise for being rude. I wouldn’t punish more than that as she’s a 12 year old girl, you need to keep your powder dry for bigger punishments for all the other rude/thoughtless/daft/dangerous/idiotic teenage things she will do an say over the next few years! 😂

We have sat her down on multiple occassions. I dread to think what we have waiting for us over the next few years though as she gets into the depths of teenagehood