AIBU to think holes in my child’s PJ’s are okay

[FRoyal]

So I have two children ages 4 and 2-both boys. Obviously the second child lives in the hand-me-downs. We spent a lot on reasonably expensive/good quality clothing for my first child. Being boys the clothes can sometimes be rugged and torn on the knee. Is it okay to allow my youngest to wear torn PJ’s stained (but clean) jumpers? Why do I feel so guilty, shouldn’t I do this. I’m interested on hearing from parents on what they do with torn clothes??

PS I don't wear clothes with holes in so i'll be damned if my poor kids have to. X

Not nice to have ragged and / or stained hand me downs

Pmsl at “the best dry cleaner in London” wtf?!🤣

I wouldn’t say it’s ok to consciously keep 1 of your children in holey or stained clothes whilst the other gets new. That’s pretty crap for boy2

I only have one DS, I pass his clothes onto friends children, but anything ripped is binned. These are usually trousers which are so worn thin at the knee that they are impossible to repair. I have tried patches but DS refuses to wear them.

I've done a quick google and you can get a 2 pack of boys pajamas at Tesco for like 6 quid... They're cute too! X

No I wouldn't but I don't like hand me downs anyway. Ask most younger siblings if they liked hand me downs and very few will say yes. It's horrible having little new and what you do have is worn, stained and somebody else's fashion choice. It can't do much for the self esteem of the younger child to know they weren't worthy of nice things like older siblings.

I LOVED hand me downs!

By the time they got to me often they'd be 4th hand. When the black bag full of clothes arrived from older cousins I'd get excited to see what would eventually (after two older sisters) be mine.

Bonus was that as I was often in hand me downs I'd get to choose the occasional new item that was lots more expensive than we'd usually be allowed. I remember choosing a red Minnie the mouse tracksuit when I was about 5!

I think hand me downs can be totally fine. If child 2 only ever gets tatty clothes that would be rubbish but I doubt many people do it that way.

Everyone in my family wears stuff with very small damage. My ds has a hole in his school trousers on the knee but it’s so small you wouldn’t notice it unless you looked really closely. But not big holes or rips. I’d recycle that stuff.

All my kids LOVE getting hand-me-downs, and they love passing stuff on for others to enjoy.

My 7 yo is currently wearing pjs with a huge hole on one knee that are much too short on her. But they were her cousin's and she adores them. She won't give up on them til they literally fall apart. I'm fine with that because it's her choice. She also gets plenty of new clothes.

Unless he's upset about the hole in the pjs, I see no problem at all.

The op said "Obviously the second child lives in the hand-me-downs. We spent a lot on reasonably expensive/good quality clothing for my first child." - So it's not a case of the second child being equally spoiled with lots of new clothes and then picking any bits of sentimental value to hang on to... Completely different scenario. Soz. X

I wouldn't want to wear torn or holey or stained clothes so I wouldn't expect my dc to either.

Just get dc some supermarket pj's under a fiver

My DS2's favourite pair of pyjamas have a hole at the knee. Those ones didn't actually belong to his big brother, but they were hand me downs from someone else. It didn't even occur to me that I should throw them away! He loves them and it's a struggle at the mo to persuade him to wear short pjs instead of those ones. He also has several pairs of joggers with holes at the knee that he wears for nursery - he's not bothered and nor am I. He has smarter pairs or trousers that I have to try to persuade him into on more formal occasions!

Some of my favourite clothes are mended so many times as much of the stiching is by me as is the original sewing, so are my children's. They're not holey though.

My boys don't even wear pyjamas, they sleep in their pants. Always have done.
I'd let mine wear ripped knee sort of clothes for playing in. Depends how ripped and bedraggled they looked though.

I chuck anything with holes or stains as a rule, with one exception: pyjamas. We had some dodgy carpet gripper things until recently along with some screws sitting slightly prouder of the floorboards than they should be. Most of DS's pyjamas have holes round the bottom. If I chucked them after first spotting holes, it would cost me a fortune! Wouldn't let him wear anything like that outside the house though.

My DS wears patched jeans and stained clothes to nursery and out and about. He doesn't care and neither do I. I can't bear throwing things out if they have a bit more wear in them ...

I have twin boys. Who get through ALOT of trousers! We patch jeans and thick trousers if possibly and spend long summers in shorts!

But pjs? They both wore bottoms with holes in the knees last night.

Other than the 4 of us in the house (and now MN) no one else would know but even if they did I would rather people thought we were not wasteful rather than happy to bin clothes at first sign of holes.

I have tried to install in my kids that cheap throwaway clothes are irresponsible to the planet and the people paid a pittance to make them. I'm no eco-warrior but I'm also not crazy enough to worry about less than perfect pjs!

I wouldn't dream of letting my child wear torn and stained clothes.

Buy him some clothes. You're his mum 🤔

@TigerlilyMoon it's not just the financial cost though is it? What goes in to making cheap clothes- usually poorly paid labour and lots of water and resources.

Why on earth would anyone care about holes in pyjamas. My pjs have holes in, and I still wear them. I have cardigans and tops that I've mended holes in.

No wonder the planet is being destroyed.

Also my kids aren't "treated" or "spoiled" with clothes. Clothes are functional, they get new ones when the old ones are outgrown.

Hand me downs are a good idea yes, but no I would not make the younger child wear stained or ripped clothing. I would throw it out. You wouldn't want to wear them so don't make him.

It's not wasteful to throw out clothes that are stained and ripped. At that point they are done.

So much judgement here. Definitely not trampy or neglectful ffs. Neglectful would be inadequately covered / warm.

Not everyone has the funds to be perfect. And the cost to the environment of disposable approaches to clothes is horrendous.

I personally don’t like torn or stained given from another family. But from a sibling, especially PJs, I don’t care. Though oddly neither seem to tear anything.

To me clothes with small holes are still perfectly wearable around the house.I am quite happy to wear them and holey socks. It seems a waste to throw them away when they are still useable. I've yet to meet a 2 year old who cared about holes in their clothes.

TuftedLadyGrotto

I literally don't know when i've said to YOU that your kids are treated or spoiled?? Are you ok?

Also when did I say I wouldn't mend a hole in clothes? For your information I rip up old clothes and make them into colourful rag rugs to sell for a dementia charity.

So back off love. X

Nothing wrong with a little hole in pyjamas. I would still wear mine. It's terribly wasteful to replace clothes for bed for something that doesn't affect their use. So long as they are clean I think it is fine. Well washed is often softer and more comfy too.

I honestly think small holes in the bottom part of a set of pyjamas are fine. I just wouldn't keep them to pass on to the next kid (assuming there is one...)