AIBU to think holes in my child’s PJ’s are okay

[FRoyal]

So I have two children ages 4 and 2-both boys. Obviously the second child lives in the hand-me-downs. We spent a lot on reasonably expensive/good quality clothing for my first child. Being boys the clothes can sometimes be rugged and torn on the knee. Is it okay to allow my youngest to wear torn PJ’s stained (but clean) jumpers? Why do I feel so guilty, shouldn’t I do this. I’m interested on hearing from parents on what they do with torn clothes??

I think it's better to wear worn clothes then buy cheap clothing from shops that run as sweat shops like primary. I've taught my kids at a young age that it's better to support exploitation. They don't give a shit about holes in clothes and make more all the time as they are outdoors, climbing trees etc.
My eldest is 9 now still would rather not have primark

My dd has two pairs of pj bottoms which have holes in. I'm pretty nifty with the sewing machine but I can't be bothered to repair them; what's the point? No one else sees them? Quite a few of my dd's night clothes are hand me downs which are really 'day time' clothes but they are stained so have relegated to bed wear.

It means I have more money to buy nice day time clothes.

I used to work for a well off banker who insisted holes in socks are fine.

His child wore expensive (not hand me down) trousers with rips at the knee...I also knew someone very well off who put her DD in an expensive part dress covered in permanent marker which she'd left lying around...she had taken it to the best dry cleaner in London apparently, but alas, nothing could be done...so she pretended the pen incident had only just happened before leaving the house every time her DD wore the dress.

DS1 thinks holes in his pants are fine because he's saving the environment. I buy him new ones anyway, because I'm so lower middle class and don't care enough about the planet.

My son goes to nursery in ripped pants (only little rips) why should I spend money on more clothes for them to get the same fate? Having said that I think I'm only doing it now because it's nearly his birthday so I'll be buying a whole new wardrobe then. I've also found the more expensive the pants, the more likely they are to rip easily (bought some joggers from next not even a month ago, ruined after the first wear, we were only in the house - fuming!)
It's only PJ's, I wouldn't worry to much.

Oh god. I feel pretty bad. My DS4 wears all DS6 hand me downs. A lot is very very well worn.

I don't mind DS1 wearing his own stained / holey stuff but I draw the line at passing it on to DS2 or any other child.

Last year I handed a bag of school trousers & shirts to the charity shop and told them they were for their rag man

The pjs I’m currently wearing have 2 holes in them... Who is going to see pjs?? Use them til they fall apart I say. But have a nice pair for sleepovers/visitors..

I think it’s fine until he gets to an age where he cares. Once he cares then I’m sorry but he should get new clothes.. and only the very best of the hand me downs. It’s unfaie that the youngest gets nothing new

I do actually wear things with holes in myself- favourite jumpers etc that I can't part with. But I only wear them at home, or for camping/campfires, gardening, trips to the tip etc.
My son's chewing became so basically that I specifically asked friends for hand-me-downs for him, as it was just so wasteful!

Well-worn is fine. DN often wears her favourite things to the point of stretched, faded, bobbled, seriously outgrown and not fit for the charity shop, and will only part with them to give them to DD. The idea is that SIL says they're going to DD and I sling them in the ragbag for the charity shop, but if DD intercepts them, there's no prising them out of her little hands. Pyjamas and painting/gardening clothes don't have to be too fit to be seen, and I have lower standards for nursery as they're not all that careful about paint and suncream (bastard, bastard suncream, the one stain I can't shift).

Holes are a step too far for me. Into the ragbag they go.

I am fine with my toddler DD2 wearing things with stains or cosmetic rips to nursery, but wouldn’t hand down anything to her from DD1 with stains or rips that DD1 made. It just feels disrespectful to DD2 as a second child. But I am probably biased as I am a younger child and my DB always assumed that new things were for him and I could have his old stuff.

DD2 has her own solution to the whole issue by refusing to wear dresses and DD1 mostly wore dresses at the same age.

To all the PJ chewers - I think that is different to the OP because the child has destroyed their own new items: they had the option of new nice things but damaged them themselves. In the OP, the second child doesn't get the expensive new clothes experience which their elder sibling got, they only get given ripped/stained things which someone else has pre-damaged.

I think the ripped things should be mended (though patches etc are OK, doesn't have to be invisible) or binned if too badly damaged, and the stained stuff should be minimised and kept for messy play - only a couple of stained outfits are needed for that so most of the clothes should be unstained and unripped overall, even if only supermarket multipack tshirts etc.

I wouldn’t put mine in torn or seriously stained clothes, no. Slight stains are normal with young children’s clothing and to be expected but holes and major stains need binning I’m afraid. Would you wear it? If not, don’t let your child wear it.

I've got a pair of pjs with a hole in the leg. I have no intention of throwing them away or mending them. I actually quite like the hole now. They still do the job of keeping me warm at night.
I wouldn't wear holes in outside clothes.
I think it's fair to apply your standards to your children.
I wouldn't think twice about chucking on a stained pair of pjs with holes on my kid.

Prising my kids out of their old favourites is beyond me sometime, in spite of rips, tears, marks, too small, etc.

Why can't you just fix them?

Isn’t it a bit cliche to give your eldest the shiny new clothes and your youngest to raggedy hand me downs?

Can you not sew? Just mend them fgs.

Everyone's different. It wouldn't be ok with me but if it's ok for you then yes it's ok.

I think you need to go to the recycling centre op. Cant you hold back some of the hand me downs for your second child so its new to them.

No sorry but that's scruffy op

Theywould go in the bin 9n our house. You can by reasonably priced Pjs from the supermarket.

I wouldn't do it. I think younger siblings shouldn't have to put up with raggedy shit just because they were born second.
It's a different situation to kids who chew their own clothes.

Trampy

It's not exactly teaching him to look after himself and his appearance is it?? I've got two boys and I budget so they can BOTH have nice bits and pieces to wear... my youngest kid shouldn't be penalized for being second - it's weird..... X