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Parenting

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Original poster

Parent leaves child while going gym

73 replies

Reets76 · 15/04/2018 13:30

Tell me if I'm overreacting, but I was horrified when a relative told me that she leaves her 7 year old child to sit in the swimming spectators area while she goes to the gym. She said she checks up on her every 20 mins and had given her the talk about not going off with (no matter what they say) or accepting anything from anyone. I was mortified and told her that it was irresponsible and that there's no justifiable reasoning as far as I'm concerned and any responsible parent would say the same. This girl is quite impressionable and who knows what she'll do in the moment if the stranger knew how to get into her head. She just said that I'm making a bit deal and that I can't live in fear. I'm no helicopter parent myself. What do you think???

OP posts:

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PalePinkSwan · 15/04/2018 13:38

I think you’ve been extremely rude and should apologise to your relative.

SoyDora · 15/04/2018 13:42

I’m not sure mortified means what you think it means.
Anyway... my oldest is 4 so I don’t know really whether I’d let mine do this, but the fact is that it’s none of your business. She has made the decision based on her own assessment of her child’s maturity.

pastabest · 15/04/2018 13:46

You are overreacting.

It's not like she's leaving her at home or in the car which is what I assumed from your thread title.

As long as the child is happy (on a tablet or reading presumably) what's the problem? Most swimming pools let unaccompanied children swim from about 8 years old.

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BaronessBomburst · 15/04/2018 13:47

My 8 year old goes off to the park on his own and has been for a year or so. What do you think is going to happen to her?
You are massively over-reacting.

BaronessBomburst · 15/04/2018 13:49

How old are your own children OP?

HoppingPavlova · 15/04/2018 13:53

I would have let one of mine do this at 7yo. I would not have let my other one do that at 7yo.

I also recall people with kids of different ages used to have kids that age sitting in the swimming spectator area (different room to pool complex but with big viewing window into swim complex) while they were in the pool with baby/toddler siblings if the child’s and babies swim class times did not co-incide. Only problem I ever had with it was area often had very wet seating area as kids would leave pool class and come sit dripping a puddle of water while waiting for parent who was now in pool with baby/toddler. Then they would all go get changed together when parent got out. There was no outrage.

KateGrey · 15/04/2018 13:54

See I wouldn’t. I’m always surprised that people think leaving them in a leisure centre is safer than leaving them at home. Personally I wouldn’t. But I know my 8 year old would get bored. At the end of the day it’s their choice, whether you agree with it or not.

SadieHH · 15/04/2018 13:55

I wouldn’t either. I have a 6 and a 10 year old and I wouldn’t leave them unattended. I’d feel happier leaving them at home!

Caulk · 15/04/2018 13:56

Mortified?

PotteringAlong · 15/04/2018 13:57

I agree with you OP but it looks like I’m in the minority!

GodYouMakeMeCringe · 15/04/2018 13:57

Have you missed out a few words from your title?

SoyDora · 15/04/2018 14:01

Those saying you wouldn’t do it (which is fine, it’s entirely at your discretion), would you have a go at a friend or relative who chose to do so?

DairyisClosed · 15/04/2018 14:01

YANBU in my opinion but then again I also consider letting rights year olds go off on their own irresponsible so maybe my judgement is a bit skewed. I definitely wouldn't do it. Especially given that most gyms have a creche facility or she could argue for the girl to do a swimming lesson while she worked out. Or they could exercise together by going for a bike ride or your friend could do squats etc. At the park while the child played in her line if sight on the play equipment. There really is no need to leave her like that.

gamerwidow · 15/04/2018 14:01

I agree with the OP you wouldn't leave a 7 yo sitting in a busy shopping centre alone for 20 mins while you shopped (or at least I hope you wouldn't) don't understand why the swimming spectator area would be deemed any safer.
I would feel better if there was a similar age or older child left with them but I think on their own is irresponsible.

NapQueen · 15/04/2018 14:01

I wouldnt leave mine at that age. The eldest is 6yo so imagining leaving her in this situation in a tears time doesnt seem right.

It must be incredibly dull for the 7yo to sit for that time and watch randoms swimming. Why doesnt she enroll her into a class or club and gym during that time?

gamerwidow · 15/04/2018 14:03

soydora yes I would have a go at a relative who did this. Their child is also my relative and their welfare is my responsibility too. I would absolutely expect my relatives to pull me up should I do anything stupid too.

PinkbicyclesinBerlin · 15/04/2018 14:03

I agree OP. I would be horrified too.

Iloveacurry · 15/04/2018 14:04

I’m with you OP, I wouldn’t leave my 7 year old like that.

DragonsAndCakes · 15/04/2018 14:05

I think people from Liverpool use mortified to mean devastated instead of the usual meaning of embarrassed.

Spamalotta · 15/04/2018 14:05

I agree with you too OP but I've found that MN generally has a very casual attitude towards looking after children so you'll probably find many people won't.

Abra1de · 15/04/2018 14:06

Mine would have beén fine left with a book or a game. Depends on your child.

SoyDora · 15/04/2018 14:06

Interesting. I think someone having a go at me would jusy serve to make me defensive and angry. Reasoned discussion/concern would be a better approach.

gamerwidow · 15/04/2018 14:10

soydora reasoned discussion should always be the first recourse. What I meant is I wouldn't ignore it rather than I would go in all guns blazing.

Abra1de · 15/04/2018 14:11

don't understand why the swimming spectator area would be deemed any safer.

That you don’t understand this explains why your risk assessment may not be working well. Fewer opportunists passing by, people will be other spectators, usually of their own children, so very unlikely to be up for a spot of child abduction while watching their own children swim. But the kind of people who might intervene when a child spontaneously combusts.

Dancingleopard · 15/04/2018 14:12

No I wouldn’t leave my seven year old there. I’m not sure the Center management would be too happy about it either.

What if there was a fire?

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