Parent leaves child while going gym

[Reets76]

Tell me if I'm overreacting, but I was horrified when a relative told me that she leaves her 7 year old child to sit in the swimming spectators area while she goes to the gym. She said she checks up on her every 20 mins and had given her the talk about not going off with (no matter what they say) or accepting anything from anyone. I was mortified and told her that it was irresponsible and that there's no justifiable reasoning as far as I'm concerned and any responsible parent would say the same. This girl is quite impressionable and who knows what she'll do in the moment if the stranger knew how to get into her head. She just said that I'm making a bit deal and that I can't live in fear. I'm no helicopter parent myself. What do you think???

@DragonsandCakes - I’m from Liverpool and have never heard that, mortified just means “very embarrassed” to me?

Tell me if I'm overreacting,

You are overreacting.

I was mortified and told her that it was irresponsible and that there's no justifiable reasoning as far as I'm concerned and any responsible parent would say the same.

Er, no. All parents wouldn't say the same. You have been incredibly rude, sticking your beak in and "telling" another parent that you don't approve of their choices.

Wow. Just wow.

I don’t for the life of me understand why people think their kids would be safer sat with complete strangers

Why were you embarrassed?

what if there was a fire

Then the 7 year old would be evacuated like everyone else and her mum is in the same building and would be able to alert people she was lost and potentially still in the building.

Sorry, can't get too upset about a 7 year old sitting somewhere warm and dry, in close vicinity to a parent, regularly being checked on in a low traffic public area with mainly other parents/grandparents.

sex offenders aren't hanging around swimming pools waiting for a parent to take their eyes off a seven year old for a few minutes under the gaze of other people and security cameras, they are doing things like picking up single parents online and worming their way into their children's lives that way.

abra nothing wrong with my risk assessment. Knowing a predictable time each week when a child will be left alone makes them more vulnerable not less. I'm not one to see paedophiles on every corner but having a family doesn't automatically make you know a predator either.

not a predator not know

Is this a private gym or a council swimming pool? I think that makes a difference to me.

My oldest is 2 so this doesn’t apply to me, but I think my niece at 7 would happily sit on the comfy sofas and read a book next to the viewing window for the pool at my private gym. There are staff at the check in desk and you have to be a member to get through the turnstile. However the seating area at the council gym and pool is much larger and busier and nosier, although still not open to the general public. Obviously I won’t be leaving my niece at either, but I can see how a sensible 7 year old would be happy enough

I honestly can’t see a problem. Our swimming pool cafe often has children sitting doing their homework while their parent swims or goes to the gym.

I wouldn’t leave a 7 yr old on their own either

I wouldn't leave my 7 yr old.

But mortified doesn't mean what you think

Why were you mortified? I think you were right to be worried if the child is out of sight yes

I would never do this and I don’t blame you for being concerned about your young relative. I just wouldn’t see the risk being worthwhile just so I could go to the gym

That you don’t understand this explains why your risk assessment may not be working well

Totally disagree. I think someone who thinks it's safe to dump a 7 year old anywhere has an issue with their risk assessing to be honest.
Public swimming pools are just that. Open to the public. All of the public- not just the nice, suppprtive parent types ready to step in in an emergency. In fact, hideous though it sounds, the spectator area of a public pool would probably be a perfect haunt for dodgy types really.

Stop picking on OP for the words used, we all know what she means!

I wouldn’t leave a child either that age. And it is right you send something, what happened to “it takes a village”. If more people looked out for each other maybe we’d have less problems in society.

Our gym looks out into the pool area through floor to ceiling windows. I wouldn’t have an issue with it as I could probably do an entire workout and always see them. I’m not sure I could relax if I couldn’t eyeball them regularly, but that is totally my issue. I think a leisure centre is a safe place to give kids some freedom. They let 8 yo in to swim alone, which is probably more risky than sitting at the side.

My 7 year old would be fine. 7 year olds on my street play out unsupervised for longer than 20 minutes at a time.

The swimming alone at 8 thing is different though surely. People in a pool are to an extent supervised by lifeguards. People on the side are supervised by no one.

7 year olds don't need to be constantly supervised.

What is the child doing while sat there?

If she's sobbing for her mum the whole time then that's not ok.

If she's sitting there quite happily reading a book/playing on a tablet etc then what's the issue?

What you feel is irrelevant. The feelings of the child being left is what matters.

7 year olds don't need to be constantly supervised

You'd expect them to be at school,

pasta have you ever been in a building when the fire alarm is going off?

Who is going to evacuate them? Who’s specific job role is it to find and herd out unsupervised children that no one actually knows are there - apart from the parent that is in another part of the building.

I’ll tell you. No one.

I teach swimming and we have many supervised drills. All the children are already acccounted for so us teachers directly deal with those. All other adults are asked repeatedly to leave the building at the appropriate exits and meet at the fire points out side.

So any straggerlers are found by chance when staff are exiting the building and urging people to move to the exit. We are told not to go looking in empty rooms, toilets ect .. to just keep moving forward. If the child goes to the toilet or gets stiff legs and decides to go for a little wonder then she is fucked. As NO ONE will be expecting to find her/evacuate her

So yeah , what if there is a fire is a very valid point.

The op relative is making her seven year old some one else’s responsibility.

When people Go to these centres they are usually there for a class (or gym) or to watch some one in a class (adult or child accompanied by a adult) this child is in no register, no class nothing. No one really knows she is there.

And seriously - you CAN NOT expect a complete stranger to look after your child - regardless of your ‘risk assessment’, how would you explain that away ‘oh well I thought she was ok as there was a complete stranger sat near her and I thought she would look after her’

I think horrified would be more fitting than mortified 🙈

Spamalotta - of course they're not constantly supervised at school, they go to the toilet alone, wet play times are often not supervised constantly, they can be sent off to do jobs, playground supervision is fairly minimal.

At school you expect your child to have supervision. Staff are on duty at lunch time and break time to do just that. Toilet trips aside (which would be very short and the teacher would be aware that that child was in the toilet) your child would be supervised.