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Parenting

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Original poster

Parent leaves child while going gym

73 replies

Reets76 · 15/04/2018 13:30

Tell me if I'm overreacting, but I was horrified when a relative told me that she leaves her 7 year old child to sit in the swimming spectators area while she goes to the gym. She said she checks up on her every 20 mins and had given her the talk about not going off with (no matter what they say) or accepting anything from anyone. I was mortified and told her that it was irresponsible and that there's no justifiable reasoning as far as I'm concerned and any responsible parent would say the same. This girl is quite impressionable and who knows what she'll do in the moment if the stranger knew how to get into her head. She just said that I'm making a bit deal and that I can't live in fear. I'm no helicopter parent myself. What do you think???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Oblomov18 · 15/04/2018 16:23

Disagree. Ds1 and Ds2 would be perfectly fine playing on phone/tablet/doing homework.

MollyDaydream · 15/04/2018 16:31

Spamalotta - I don't expect children at school, especially ks2, to be constantly supervised. They're not toddlers. I don't constantly supervise at home or the park either. An average 7 or 8 year old can manage unsupervised for 20 minutes at a time in a public place. My 7 year old could easily spend 20 minutes in the changing rooms.

KarmaStar · 15/04/2018 16:38

Wasn't there a thread last week of two girls being linked at by an old man who then dropped his towel exposing himself?
You do need to be very careful ,I agree op.

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Dancingleopard · 15/04/2018 16:39

molly even though the kids in school may not have constant eye balling on by teachers - they are still aware they are there. If a child goes to the toilet - they know they are there and can act accordingly.

No one knows that there is a seven year old dumped in some seats at a sports Center because there parent wants to go gym.

MollyDaydream · 15/04/2018 16:40

Pretty sure the mum knows the child is there

mellowyellow2018 · 15/04/2018 16:41

A woman at my gym leaves her kid waiting outside every night whilst she does Zumba, yoga etc... she does two classes on a Friday night and leaves him for two hours (class finishes at 8:45 on Friday night) he’s only 7.

Makes me feel sad for him

Spamalotta · 15/04/2018 16:41

As a secondary school teacher I would be disciplined and could lose my job if I left a class unattended or didn't show up for a break duty. At primary school your children should be supervised and if they are not, you should ask why not.

MollyDaydream · 15/04/2018 16:45

Children are not constantly under supervision at school, it would be impossible to achieve. For sample during wet play not all children will fit into one classroom so they are in separate rooms with an adult popping in and adult.

Spamalotta · 15/04/2018 16:46

Are you a teacher Molly?

MollyDaydream · 15/04/2018 16:47

Yes, why?

Original poster

Reets76 · 15/04/2018 16:48

I know what you mean. That's why I like these platforms for chat. People helping you see sense. Whilst I don't agree with what she did. I agree that I over reacted BIG TIME! I have actually apologised since (which maybe I should have mentioned in my post)

OP posts:

Spamalotta · 15/04/2018 16:56

Reets you may have done that mum a favour by giving her a wake up call before something awful happened. I imagine that the pool staff would be less than impressed with her "childcare" arrangements too to be honest.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/04/2018 17:03

I totally agree with you op, I just woukdent, 7 is still quite young, you have said she is quite impressionable.

LynetteScavo · 15/04/2018 17:59

My gym is right next to to pool viewing gallery, so I would have no problem with this.

However, it gets really warm there....hope the poor abandoned child has sufficient rehydration to hand.

MrsTylerJoseph · 15/04/2018 18:08

At 7yo I used to take myself swimming. Walk to the leisure centre with my 8yo brother and swim. Then we’d go up to the spectator gallery and watch the judo or fencing or squash while eating sweets. We’d spend ages there and walk home.

This 7yo is in a public place with people about. She should be savvy enough to start screaming of someone tried to drag her off. If she’s had the stranger danger talk, knows not to leave with anyone there’s no issue.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/04/2018 18:31

I was in the park with dc a while ago, there were 2 young girls aged 6 (they told me), they appeared on their own. No adult about, they struck up conversation with me, told me their names, ages, and what schools they go to, I asked where their adult was. They pointed a distance away, and said their 11 year old brother is with them. He was playing football with his mates, totally unaware. |f somebody bad came along, it would be very easy for them to walk away with them. I don't think I could trust them to be safe at that age. What is wrong with waiting a few years until they are older, what is the rush to be independent at a very young age.

I out alone with friends at 12/13, not primary school age, even 30 odd years ago. I am perfectly capable, and have lived on my own since the age of 18.

Dancingleopard · 15/04/2018 19:45

Doesn’t really matter if there is public about, why do people use that as a yard stick of how safe it is.

I was 13 and stood at a zebra crossing when a man asked If I wanted to go and look at his cock. I actually thought I’d misheard until he repeated it when I said ‘what?’

It really doesn’t matter if there is public about.

That child is her own parents responsibility - which being in a separate room and expecting other strangers to keep an eye on her is a bit much.

Original poster

Reets76 · 15/04/2018 21:02

Mine are 7 & 9. Both girls.

OP posts:

Spamalotta · 15/04/2018 21:22

If she’s had the stranger danger talk, knows not to leave with anyone there’s no issue

This is frighteningly naive. Having "the talk" about stranger danger is really not sufficient to safeguard a 7 year old child left alone in a public place.

MrsTylerJoseph · 15/04/2018 22:25

Surely that depends on the individual child and what you’ve actually told them and how well you believe they’ve taken it on board?

melissasummerfield · 15/04/2018 22:37

I wouldnt leave a 7yo.

When you have children sometimes you have to accept you can’t always do what you want anymore. She should be going to a gym when she has someone to look after the child or figure out a different way to work out.

BertrandRussell · 15/04/2018 22:39

Has a child ever been abducted from a swimming pool cafe?

Spamalotta · 16/04/2018 06:42

Surely that depends on the individual child and what you’ve actually told them and how well you believe they’ve taken it on board?

I think that asking a 7 year old to safeguard themselves because you have previously spoken to them about stranger danger is foolhardy, particularly given the mixed messages this particular parent is giving by effectively relying on strangers to look after her child in an emergency.
I agree with pp that as a parent you put your child first and that that may mean sacrificing hobbies. You do such things when you have adequate childcare or you don't do them at all frankly.

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