Kids playing out on the street?

[jessieb887]

We've just moved house 4 weeks ago and it's a quiet culdesac so made the decision to let our boys play out the front yesterday with the other kids some of which are younger than mine at 5 1/2 and 4 1/2.
Only for this to happen today my eldest comes back upset, he was playing with another child from the street in his garden and the dad of the kid told my son to bugger off?? Am I wrong in thinking that is majorly out of order? I'm furious but don't know how to deal with it? The dad then later drove past my house whilst I'm outside and told me very abruptly to stop my children playing in his house I had no idea they were in his house? He had come home and they were in there why didn't the Mum just say no when her son let them all in??
Mine have never played on the street till now so I'm very new to this territory.

I think In future when they want to play in someone’s garden they need to check with you, and you need to then go and check with the parents. Your kids need to know that the rule for gardens is the same as for houses. Have some very firm words with them next time they play out about the rules, oh and at that age I checked on them every 5 minutes or so.
And the man sounds very unpleasant, I wouldn’t want my kids anywhere near him.

Another poster sometimes thinks her one year old (a baby) is upstairs watching tv but may have ran into the garden?! Wtaf?!

Personally I think they are too young to be playing out in the street at this age unless it’s an extremely quiet area, it’s for very short bursts and with close supervision I.e you watching for the window every 5-10 minutes. They also need to be told not to disappear beyond x and y (basically from view) at that age and not to go into other peoples houses or go anywhere other than the front without checking with you first.
We live in a nice quiet area and DS had a friend who had progressive parents. He was allowed to rome about from 3 or 4 streets away from about age 5 or 6. He was a pain in the neck always encouraging my DS to go further and further, knocking on the door at 9am or after 6.30/7. His parents never knew where he was as long as he wasn’t under their feet. He has now been expelled from two secondary schools, been to the pupil referral unit and is now being home schooled in year 9.

You really need to drum into them the rule that they have to ask you first before they go into someone's garden or house. That's what I did with my DD who has been playing out from a similar age.

I have told children to bugger off from my home before, but I say it in a clearly joking manner (most of the time, once I had to say it quite firmly to one lad who was bothering his little sisters and had to make him go home) so it really depends on how the dad said it.

When my DC were playing out they were meant to tell me if they were going to someone's house.
But a crowd of kids wandering from house to house is part of playing out IMO.The Dad should just have asked them to leave nicely though,if he didn't want them there,the "bugger off " isn't acceptable.

I still remember DH going into our kitchen to get a drink and being waylaid by an unknown tiny girl demanding food....he was "and who are you and why are you in my kitchen".He got the reply "I came with DD!"
"DD! DD!! Who is this?"

Another poster sometimes thinks her one year old (a baby) is upstairs watching tv but may have ran into the garden?! Wtaf?!

Haha! I don't have a tv upstairs! wtf what? She has the run of the house and garden if nice weather. All safe, all managed properly. Do I know where she is 100% of the time, every second of the day? No! Do I need to? NO! Supervision doesn't mean knowing everything all the time. People are paranoid. What might possibly go wrong ahhhh! I have 3 kids..no far no problems so go boil your head.

The reason you don’t let kids this young play out unsupervised is precisely because they wouldn’t think it wrong to
go in the house.

You shouldn’t have let them go to someone else’s garden without knowing the family IMHO, when they are so little

The dad sounds an arse for using that language with kids but equally, you have acted quite oddly

come on - ridiculous answers here. This isn't about 'playing out\ = the OP was in the garden and her young children were pottering about 3 doors down - not a big deal in a very quiet cul de sac when she knew the mother.

it is deeply unpleasant and horrible to swear or be rude to 4 years olds - I have small kids coming into my house fairly often (live on a quiet road) - and i would always speak kindly to them unless they were actively naughty and rude. If I was concerned I would speak to their mother.

yes OP the dad was wierd and rude.