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Parenting

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Original poster

Does anyone else think "quality time" with your kids is a load of rubbish?

75 replies

toomuchtodo · 08/05/2007 07:32

Just read somewhere "we have quality time, much better than quantity!"

what a cop out, kids don't recognise "quality time", they just like to spend a bit of their day with mum or dad.

whenever I hear "quality time" I want to shake the parents.

OP posts:

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Blandmum · 08/05/2007 07:34

Mind you, when I have quantity time with my kids, I often want to shake them

Original poster

toomuchtodo · 08/05/2007 07:35

OP posts:

SofiaAmes · 08/05/2007 07:52

Sorry, disagree strongly with you. I think there is a difference between the 2 hours that I spend eating dinner with and reading stories to my children and other families that I know who spend that same time "with" their children who are parked in front of the tv.
At age 4 and 6, my children may not be able to articulate that they are spending quality time with me (and would probably rather be parked in front of the tv), but their behavior certainly reflects it and when they are older they will recognize it. I certainly do about my childhood. Both my parents worked full time, but they were always home for dinner every night and my father read to the family every night after dinner until my brother and I went off to university. I am still close to my parents and look to them for advice and support even though I am in my 40's.

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SofiaAmes · 08/05/2007 07:52

martianbishop.....

nailpolish · 08/05/2007 07:54

my view is these days parents always want to do 'activities' like a specific 'activity' ie zoo, gymboree, baby yoga, soft play, etc etc etc all costing money.

weeding the garden, tidying a cupboard, are just as exciting to children. maybe more so all they want to do is be part of every day, and be with mummy (daddy, gran, sister, you get the idea)

SofiaAmes · 08/05/2007 08:13

I agree nailpolish. Somehow, I am made to feel like I haven't done enough for my kids if I don't have anything planned for them for the weekend other than hanging at the house and maybe doing some gardening. I do occasionally give in to their two current faves which are ikea (they know that mummy can't resist the chocolate cookies that don't have trans fats) and the local plant nursery which is a bit like a jungle to them.

speedymama · 08/05/2007 08:42

I agree with Nailpolish. My 3yo DTS fight over who is going to mop the kitchen floor when I'm cleaning the kitchen. They even have their own dusters..

Sugarmagnolia · 08/05/2007 09:00

I agree - quality time doesn't have mean taking them swimming or teaching them to bake or whatever - quality time can mean reading or drawing or blowing bubbles together or even just talking. For me what defines it is the fact that they have your attention. Half an hour of that, in my opinion, is worth more than spending a whole day with them if you are cooking/cleaning/mumsnetting while they play/eat/watch telly/whatever in another part of the house.

BandofMothers · 08/05/2007 09:08

dd1 loves nothiung more than to dig a big hole in the garden or terrorise all the insects.
Also loves dusting.

speedymama · 08/05/2007 09:24

I have a Henry vacuum cleaner. My DTS take turns in vacuuming the living room carpet whilst I sit on the sofa and relax. They love Henry!

luciemule · 08/05/2007 09:33

Phew - I thought it was only me who thinks staying at home some/most weekends with my family is nice. There is so much pressure to be doing 'stuff' with your kids all the time but they get so much of that at school in the week, that I think they just love being around us at the weekend, doing relaxing stuff. Yesterday I was most surprised, having baked biscuits with DD (5), that she asked if she could wash up the baking things. I said of course she could and she really enjoyed it, asking me how to do the brush thing and where to put the bowls/cutlery etc. How will they learn how to look after themselves when they're older if we spend all of our free time, taking them here, there and everywhere.

handlemecarefully · 08/05/2007 09:38

I have quantity time with mine as a SAHM but I also make a point of a bit of quality time, and I do think the concept of it and the practice of it has some merit.

We can hang around at home having a perfectly pleasant time, peacefully co-existing with them playing happily and me getting on with whatever I have to do...and there is nothing wrong with that...However, they do really enjoy it when I take specific time to sit down with them and do something as simple as playing a board game for instance (doesn't seem to matter what we do as long as my attention is wholely and completely focussed on them for a while)

DimpledThighs · 08/05/2007 09:41

PMSL - MB

I agree toomuch and nailpolish - lots of pressure to do 'things' whereas hanging out enjoying day-to-day life is by far the most lovely thing to do. Cooking supper and changing the beds are so much more fun than an organised child focused activity for all concerned!

FioFio · 08/05/2007 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

handlemecarefully · 08/05/2007 09:43

Really Dimpledthighs? Must say mine would be singularly unmoved by changing the beds. Okay it's got to be done but I don't kid myself that it's fun for my children

I suppose they are all different!

Idreamofdaleks · 08/05/2007 09:47

Quality time is what people have when they don't have much time to spend with their kids so they try to make the most of it.

Any time when a child has your attention is quality time, whatever you may be doing, and hanging out the washing is as good as going to the museum.

DimpledThighs · 08/05/2007 09:47

oh handleme - agree totally with your comment below re attention focused only at them but bed changing is a treat in my house - striping beds, hiding in sheets, choosing covers, crawling inside etc - maybe that is because it is quite a rare occurence

handlemecarefully · 08/05/2007 09:49

...ah therein lies the difference dimpled thighs - I'm far too businesslike and boring when changing the beds (it's a chore I hate), so my children would be shooed out of the way if they started playing ghosts or whatever with the fitted sheets (poor mites!)

ScottishMummy · 08/05/2007 10:24

PMSL i enjoy quality and quantity time running about like a blue arsed fly

does that count

KTeePee · 08/05/2007 10:39

My dd (almost 10) loves making beds - as in changing the bedding - she's not too keen on straightening the quilt each day though!

Grrrr · 08/05/2007 11:02

My definition of quality time with children is time spent with the ds's without being shouty and exasperated through overtiredness.

Original poster

toomuchtodo · 08/05/2007 13:36

agree with nailpolish, too much money is spent on sending the kids to activities instead of just hanging out with them

OP posts:

Oblomov · 08/05/2007 13:42

What a load of bollocks. What do these people mean by 'quality time' anyway.
My SIL is obsessed with theme parks, softplay etc etc.
I agree with Nailpolish. We play trains, go to the park if you're lucky.
Makes me MAD.

Oblomov · 08/05/2007 13:45

Ds loves cleaning the kitchem floor. I use those mr muscle disposable wipes. You've never seen a child so happy - now thats quality time - lol at speedymama on the sofa, with dts and henry.

franca70 · 08/05/2007 13:47

I like my quality time when they are at school

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